[MBTI General] ISTP/ISFP......Conflict.

[Illmatic]

Welll reading definitons, it says ISTP's don't mind conflicts while ISFP's avoid it.

Can you give me exams of 'not minding' conflicts?

 

[wolfy]

Not minding conflicts is where you don't mind upsetting the relationship for the sake of something. Remember when Michael Westen changed the flight details he gave to Gilroy for Sam? That is avoiding conflicts.

 

[Illmatic]

thats avoiding conflict or not minding it?

 

[wolfy]

Avoiding. And not minding it. Real life is tricky.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Well, I work closely with an ISFP. When we are working together it's pretty seamless. But often we work opposite shifts where we rely on the other. We are very similar but we handle "conflict" differently and if we do have conflict it gets exacerbated because of the different ways we handle things. She is very passive aggressive when upset. IMO, she gets upset over some small stuff. I'm definitely not afraid to go in, discuss the issue, fix it and move on. She is uncomfortable with this and I can see that when I do it. She takes it as an attack. But I take her passive aggressive tit-for-tat mentality as a waste of time and needless drama. We ebb and flow.

 

[jixmixfix]

Alot of "F" types not just ISFPs but even ESFJs take confrontation as an issue for some reason, when it is actually more destructive in long run.

 

[IZthe411]

ISTPs don't take conflict personally
ISFPs don't like to deal wtih conflicts of their Fi values. Depends on what it is.
FJs may take conflicts personally or as a sign of problems in the relationship

 

[Orangey]

She is very passive aggressive when upset. IMO, she gets upset over some small stuff. I'm definitely not afraid to go in, discuss the issue, fix it and move on. She is uncomfortable with this and I can see that when I do it. She takes it as an attack. But I take her passive aggressive tit-for-tat mentality as a waste of time and needless drama.

This is exactly my experience as well. I think I'm being impersonal and attacking the issue, but the ISFP takes it as an attack on their value as a human being and starts to passive-aggressively snipe at me (mostly on unrelated, personal issues.) Sometimes the ISFP is so passive at first that I don't notice that anything emotional has transpired at all, but then a little later everything starts to seep out.

I don't take it as well as you, though. It makes me irritable and I feel like strangling them.

 

[wolfy]

I think there are sometimes I dislike conflict. When it hits an aspect of self-efficacy, when I see it as back handed, how I see it affecting my relationship with the person. I'm not bad with conflict though, probably been passive aggressive once or twice, truth be known, but I usually am straight forward. I dislike it when conflicts are murky, are we conflicting, yes or no?

I think I got much better with conflicts as I got older. But I am very on or off when it comes to conflicts.

 

[ICUP]

I don't enjoy it, but if that's the way it has to be, I am willing. It would be nice if two people could just get along, but I haven't seen it happen yet.

 

[Illmatic]

well me. I try to use a little logic. If a mafucka is bigger than me and obviously he can do damage to me, i play it off. If it's my friend then i try be honest, gotta help them.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Sometimes the ISFP is so passive at first that I don't notice that anything emotional has transpired at all, but then a little later everything starts to seep out. .

Oh yeah. I've been blindsided. I usually hear from other people that the ISFP is upset about something that happened three days ago and I just blow it off thinking she'll get over it but that's when the tit-for-tat comes in. Ends up pushing me into a confrontation, IMO. I'm not the easiest person to be around or approach sometimes but oh well. That's not my problem.

 

[cityofcircuits]

Great to read this thread. Yeah, I can relate to that passive-aggressiveness. It' seems like 1 way an ISFP deals with a confrontation. It may not be ideal, but we know that, sometimes, but we're not sure how to deal with confrontation too often. I remember growing up with 3 older brothers, 1 being an ISTP and we usually got along great, but there were a few times we had it out in our teenage years, usually I would take something personal and than blow up on him a week later whereas he usually already forgot about it or didn't know what the hell was wrong with me/why I was pissed off all of a sudden.

Simple terms: We don't know how to discern what true confrontation is, and also how to correctly deal with it. Typically.....

 

[wolfy]

I sometimes wonder whether I'm passive aggressive or just a calm pain in the ass when annoyed. I don't like losing myself when angry so my anger is often on a slow boil. Not always, sometimes it just boils over, but even then I'm quick to drop the heat.