[SP] not so empathetic people in caring/helping

[knight]

ok, I ran into a rude person in a profession of helping others, a government worker. rather then get help from him, he was very quick to lay down an assertion about me without asking what I have been through and such. apparently everything i went through was in his file and he felt to treat me accordingly. instead of getting help I got back handed treatment. later i learned from a friend that worked with him that he, His daughter has cancer or had cancer and that is why he is that way. she is really pretty with big boobs, and i guess he needed something to cry on, but I im suppose to not be angry. honestly, if i was in the same situation, I would take time off and if i was in a caring profession and did not care anymore about what i was doing, I would leave instead of being a *#@@&($)@! I know its a tough thing, this is an understatment but if something detracts from the quality or purpose that Im mainly there to serve and i cant find balance to be what im suppose to be then i would leave. I been in these kind of crappy situations. am I a robot for thinking this way and thinking this guy should be ejected from his position?

 

[Thalassa]

Yes, I think you're being unreasonably idealistic. Those gov't helping jobs can be very stressful and draining - even without personal drama or trauma - and people also get disillusioned about why they wanted to be in that profession to begin with because they are exposed to so many horrible aspects of humanity every day as a part of their work. The hopeless cases, the people who won't cooperate, the people who scam, etc.

Also, some people who choose that line of work have very rationally distant and authoritative personalities to begin with, and they don't see "helping you" as being a fuzzy wuzzy thing, but as their duty to society, they have a different view of what constitutes help than you do: they'd rather teach a man to fish than feed him fish, so to speak, or they have the sort of mind that abides strictly to legal or scientific practice over compassion or empathy. Those people are just made that way, it's who they are, and actually those people are LESS likely to get burnt out on that sort of work than the more overtly compassionate-seeming people are.

It would be wonderful if the U.S. were like Europe and all gov't workers got six weeks of vacation per year to restore their mental health, or if teachers here in the U.S. were actually paid what they're worth, but since they're treated so marginally it's not surprising to me (especially after attending college and knowing now what I know) that these people get so bitter and burnt out.

Sad but true. Yeah, in some extreme cases, people should probably seek a different profession, though.

 

[skylights]

i'm sorry that you felt treated badly by him, that's unfortunate when you're in need of help yourself.

did he technically do what he was supposed to do for you, even if it wasn't completed in the warmest way? at least where i live, the economy sucks right now, most people are lucky to have jobs. the helping professions especially have been hit hard... both my parents and many of my friends are in them. on average, they're very overworked and very underpaid. they're feeling the burden even without any additional acute emotional stress. if he can still adequately perform his job function, i can't imagine reasonably expecting him to leave.

 

[Thalassa]

Also, if this was some kind of psychological assessment or related service, and you sincerely feel that you were misdiagnosed in some way, ask to see another worker.

However, if it was simply a brusque attitude, or it was for something run-of-the-mill like welfare assistance, I don't think that counts in the grand scheme of things.

I think these people would do their jobs better if there was adequate funding and structure in these programs, too. It takes a very strong and positive person with a vision of helping people to stick with it and not become bitter...and as I mentioned, some people are actually better suited to that work precisely because they are more emotionally detatched and correctly follow procedure - and therefore seem less "nice" by default - without getting too stressed out about the job conditions.

 

[miss fortune]

A lot of times caring people in public professions get burnt out after being taken advantage of... The public will suck you dry if you let them. No matter who you are, consider that if you think you were treated too briskly!

 

[Oberon]

Government agencies have no vested interest in improving customer service. The help they provide is inevitably something you want from them (a social security card, a vehicle registration, a building permit, and so on) and can't get elsewhere; therefore, the help you get is the help you get.

Poor customer service won't hurt their business.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I'm sorry you went through this, Knight. As a health proffessional myself, I can honestly say it's really hard to be caring 100% of the time, though, and I'm an empathic sap. Health professional also work some really long hours...if you are on a 12 hour shift, by the end of it you really don't care if a patient is sick, or in my case woken up at 3am to process urgent bloods. I'm not defending the behaviour....but if you bear in mind, health proffesionals (including nurses, doctors, radiologists, path staff etc, etc) have to put up with crap day in day out. If it's not patients, it's staff from other departments, not to mention the ridiculous amounts of beauracracy we have to deal with....and the pressure. If we screw up, it's life or death. It can get to people. We are often short staffed, under resourced, and have doctors screaming at us, so if a patient is "making life difficult" we ain't always rainbows and sunshine. (I'm not saying you were.)
It's very high stress....so if the health proffesional you mentioned has a sick daughter on top of that, he's probably streched to the limit.
P.S. taking time off isn't that simple...often you can't unless you've booked a long way in advance, because of staffing levels. So yeah, there are alot of burnt out people. We get little thanks for working our butts off.
We aren't all angels all the time. You have to be pretty hard some times. He could have been having an off day too....and without knowing your particulars, you may have been a straightforward case. If you were really unhappy is there some other place you can go to? If it was a Doctor they can be $#!&s at times, but you do have the option of seeking a second opinion. You can also put in a formal complaint about his behaviour.
Though, are you just upset because he wouldn't listen to your complaints? Because I can tell you right now, if your history is pretty clear and there is a waiting room full of other patients, he was trying to exercise time managment. Health proffessionals don't really have time to stop for a little chat if they are to see everyone. Harsh but true.
It doesn't excuse our sometimes brash, and aburt manners, but I hope my post enlightens you some. I'm sure it wasn't personal.

 

[Stanton Moore]

Gov't workers in helping professions (counceling, nursing, etc.) develop thick skins from dealing with rude people and constantly seeing the dark side of life. Many can't take it for long.

 

[knight]

sorry I meant not so helping people in helping professions



got an injury 4 years ago, I was assigned a "job specialist" who helps people find jobs or is suppose to connect people in other departments to help them further. when i asked about programs that might be available, to improve my chances obtaining and retaining a job, my skills are limited, he shook his head and had been dismissive even there after. I asked repeatedly at different times we met. I asked other people in his work setting and kept getting referred back.
I asked later for a different person, to work with and nothing happened. I ran into issues outside this place as well, while i looked, I tried networking as well through people finding work.

so since I have been working 4 years, positions my skill level allow me to work, injury limits things even more, taking 3-4 ibuprofen almost always.



btw, yesterday I had to see a "job specialist" again but this time it was a different person. my request finally went through. she pointed me to 3-4 different things that would help me out and currently Im getting help.
its been 4 years of hell and Im happy to actually start moving along again.

anyway, that person that helped me before has been working there long before I met him, the department that could have helped has been there as well and I the requisites to get into the program are the same as today and the guy is still the same, not helpful. playing cat and mouse games with the ladies in his office. I thought his daughter had cancer?

I was very angry last night at how 4 years went by, when i could have been already on with things but since been in a rut and he basically refused to do his job, simply pointing something out or withholding info.

 

[Bamboo]

what service did she provide that he didn't?

how was her treatment different?

 

[CrystalViolet]

No wonder you are angry. I'd be pissed too.
You couldn't have been referred some where else, that provides the same service?
The problem with govt. workers in several of the countries I lived in, is you can basically be really crap at what you do, and still have a job for life.
I find it immensely frustrating, though it's nice to have that kind of security too (at least I get myself sorted.)
My advice is find out who his superiors are, or even if there is a complaints boards, and tell them your story. It could be a simple thing as him not keeping up to date with programmes out there. Bear in mind, there's a hell of a lot of people in your situation who just don't want to make things better for themselves. He will be used to dealing with them. I'm not making excuses, just stating reality. Some one helping themselves is the exception to the rule....and if one has been become very cynical, it becomes harder to spot cases worth helping out. Trust me on this. No-one in these sorts of services are inherently nasty....but continually seeing people who refuse to help themselves, and more often than not, do things contrary to advice, and plain out not lifting a finger to improve thier situation, can be soul destroying.
The other thing is don't just take it, keep pestering. He who screams loudest, gets the attention....though personally I opt for the human mosquito method...just keep reminding people of your presence and your desire to help yourself. Works for me.

 

[Such Irony]

The problem with govt. workers in several of the countries I lived in, is you can basically be really crap at what you do, and still have a job for life.
I find it immensely frustrating, though it's nice to have that kind of security too (at least I get myself sorted.)

It's the same here in the United States. I know several govt. workers who are disgruntled with their jobs. They are poor at what they do and they know it. They don't care about improving their performance and aren't trying all that hard to look for something more satisfying because they need the good benefits they get from their jobs. Some of them seem to have a ton a free time on their jobs and pass the work day on Facebook, playing computer games, or surfing the web.

 

[Jeffster]

His daughter has cancer or had cancer and that is why he is that way. she is really pretty with big boobs, and i guess he needed something to cry on, but I im suppose to not be angry.

That was really random, was this just included to make the topic show up in my searches?