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[SP] Entertainment conflicts with SPs.

Moonflower

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Jan 15, 2011
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Sorry is this is silly, but it's actually a problem I need help with.

On a good night with friends over, we like to sit back and watch/listen to some movies, TV series, anime, etc. If the people around are NFs, NTs, or SJs, it seems we can find something we agree on quite well. Such is usually the case with ISFPs, too. When it comes to ISTPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, though, we're on. Another. Planet.


I tend to like:
-soft, emotional music which reminds me of feelings I've experienced
-stories which revolve around human relations; romance, deep friends, and the power of love
-soap opera-type dramas where the situations and relationships are actually realistic
-material which has me constantly thinking about the world around me
-I don't always need logic in the situations, since the one thing I do need is to relate to it
-slow-pace


ESFP, ESTP, ISTP friends like:
-any music with a beat
-hate predictability
-stories which focus on action like gunfights, martial arts, and car chases
-everything, to them has to make complete logical sense and be practical
-fast-paced, always things happening


I am not attempting to insult people. All types have their flaws and positive traits. I am just looking for some sort of understanding.

Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
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Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
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3h50
Variety is the spice of life. You're not going to like the same things everyone else is, and that's OK. Fact is, if you don't have the same taste in movies/music, and the distinction is that great, you probably aren't going to come to an agreement, so just don't watch movies or listen to music with them, simple as that. You don't have to be the same friend in the same way to everyone.

That doesn't mean there aren't other things you can share.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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don't watch movies together, or take turns picking.

I don't know, I have the same problem with my isfp, and we don't even have very different tastes.

btw both your list and your SP friends' list of "cool movie things" sound super boring to me. Action movies vs. romance? I'll pass, lol. Everyone has different tastes, of course. And luckily, pretty much every genre has a few randomly kickass movies . Like I bet the SPs like fight club, and that's an amazing movie.

(lol @ "soap-opera-like things"..."realistic")
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
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Cook something together maybe? Or at least try to shake things up a bit... I don't really feel like to watch movies when hanging out with friends because it seems like a cop out on interacting somrhow :shrug:
 

Orangey

Blah
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Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?

No. Unless you start liking their shit, or they start liking your shit, or both.

P.S., who actually likes predictability in a plot? Also, how can films or music be practical? And how can these ISTPs/ESTPs/ESFPs enjoy martial arts films AND require that films make logical sense (unless it's like...a Tae Bo instructional video or something)?
 

chickpea

perfect person
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i dated an esfp and we never wanted to watch the same movies. he liked action movies with as much violence and fight scenes as possible, and i just lose interest and need something with a good story/characters (although i like some campy or dumb movies). we got in a fight over seeing inception vs predator in theaters lol. the only stuff we could agree on was true blood and it's always sunny in philadelphia.

musically we had different tastes but they don't seem as s/n related.
 

Bamboo

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...how can films or music be practical? And how can these ISTPs/ESTPs/ESFPs enjoy martial arts films AND require that films make logical sense (unless it's like...a Tae Bo instructional video or something)?

Is this a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to say that a stringent requirement for "logic" doesn't apply across all realms for most people?


@ OP:

You say you are trying to come to an understanding AND that you are trying to come to an agreement.

The understanding part is simple enough: people are different and want different kinds of entertainment. Easy.

The agreement is more complicated. Maybe you can take turns doing things. Maybe you can split into different groups and have separate activities. I'm sure people can take turns doing things.


Example: A little while ago I visited my cousin (ESFJ). She likes having people over, having food, and conversation. Most of her friends are art types - dancers, hipsters, etc. I like to talk for a bit but then I get bored out of my mind. Last time I was there I ended up spurring some action by getting a group to go out and shoot some pool. Change of scenery, moving around, music, I liked all that. I respect that people have their own "thing." Some people seemed to really like that I did that, others were totally uninterested. That's ok. They just stayed behind.

I like my cousin and she likes me but I understand we are different. So I don't bother her a lot and expect to always hang out with her because we have different paces.

You might find a similar arrangement with your group of friends.
 

Sunny Ghost

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Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
Me and my old ISTP and ESFP roommates would each just sort of take turns picking movies. Even if it's a bad movie, you can usually toss in great commentary and still make the evening entertaining.

But yeah, me and my other SP roommates didn't always agree on taste in movies... or music. My ISTP male roommate did enjoy a lot of action movies that I typically wouldn't go out of my way to watch. My taste are more like yours, I think. I like emotion, drama, fantasy, anime.... But I could still sit down and perhaps be entertained even if it's not necessarily my thing.
My ESFP female roommate liked a lot of goofy children's animation or romantic comedies. Also not really my thing, but I could still sit with her and enjoy it, simply because her own commentary and personality would always make it interesting and fun.

Things we did agree on: Avatar the last airbender. Heroes (seasons 1 through 4). Sonic racing (on Xbox). Playing Poker. Grilling out and drinking. Karaoke nights (youtube videos with lyrics and singing loudly into the remote).

We certainly found ways to pull the whole house together, including our very reclusive ISTJ roommate.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Sorry is this is silly, but it's actually a problem I need help with.

On a good night with friends over, we like to sit back and watch/listen to some movies, TV series, anime, etc. If the people around are NFs, NTs, or SJs, it seems we can find something we agree on quite well. Such is usually the case with ISFPs, too. When it comes to ISTPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, though, we're on. Another. Planet.


I tend to like:
-soft, emotional music which reminds me of feelings I've experienced
-stories which revolve around human relations; romance, deep friends, and the power of love
-soap opera-type dramas where the situations and relationships are actually realistic
-material which has me constantly thinking about the world around me
-I don't always need logic in the situations, since the one thing I do need is to relate to it
-slow-pace


ESFP, ESTP, ISTP friends like:
-any music with a beat
-hate predictability
-stories which focus on action like gunfights, martial arts, and car chases
-everything, to them has to make complete logical sense and be practical
-fast-paced, always things happening


I am not attempting to insult people. All types have their flaws and positive traits. I am just looking for some sort of understanding.

Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?

Watch The Godfather together. And just remember, you came to me looking for a favour. And I helped. We are friends now.
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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You know some weird ESFPs if they always want everything to be logical.

Oh yeah, watch comedy. It brings everyone together. :)
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
I have this issue with my brother who is xSTP. I am ISFP. He likes action movies with nice fight scenes. I like movies that make you "think" (actually I relate a lot to your list of what you like). We've figured out how to compromise quite a lot though, because a lot of movies do provide both sides. I would suggest finding rare movies that appeal to all of you. I once convinced an ISFJ to watch a movie she thought she would hate, because it had good reviews and she thinks movies with good reviews are objectively good. Perhaps your friends will think that way as well. Even if it is a stupid way of thinking, you can use it to get your way. Lastly, I find that if I pressure my brother to watch a "thinking" movie with me, (so long as it's not too mushy/romantic) his Ti will latch onto it and we can discuss it for days. We spent a week and a half dissecting Inception last year. There is a lot of common ground, I hope you are able to find some with your friends. Hope this helped.
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
Sorry is this is silly, but it's actually a problem I need help with.

On a good night with friends over, we like to sit back and watch/listen to some movies, TV series, anime, etc. If the people around are NFs, NTs, or SJs, it seems we can find something we agree on quite well. Such is usually the case with ISFPs, too. When it comes to ISTPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, though, we're on. Another. Planet.


I tend to like:
-soft, emotional music which reminds me of feelings I've experienced
-stories which revolve around human relations; romance, deep friends, and the power of love
-soap opera-type dramas where the situations and relationships are actually realistic
-material which has me constantly thinking about the world around me
-I don't always need logic in the situations, since the one thing I do need is to relate to it
-slow-pace


ESFP, ESTP, ISTP friends like:
-any music with a beat
-hate predictability
-stories which focus on action like gunfights, martial arts, and car chases
-everything, to them has to make complete logical sense and be practical
-fast-paced, always things happening


I am not attempting to insult people. All types have their flaws and positive traits. I am just looking for some sort of understanding.

Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?

You're likes are so so borrrinngggg. :)
 

Orangey

Blah
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Jun 26, 2008
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Is this a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to say that a stringent requirement for "logic" doesn't apply across all realms for most people?

No, it's a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to understand that you can't like martial arts films (or any film that requires the suspension of disbelief...but especially martial arts films, because the characters regularly defy the laws of physics without any explanation) AND say that you require strict logic in films in order to enjoy them.
 

strychnine

All Natural! All Good!
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
895
No, it's a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to understand that you can't like martial arts films (or any film that requires the suspension of disbelief...but especially martial arts films, because the characters regularly defy the laws of physics without any explanation) AND say that you require strict logic in films in order to enjoy them.

Just making a counterpoint for the sake of it, but a film can be perfectly logical - internally consistent, that is - while being totally unrealistic. It can be set in entirely different worlds that abandon our laws of physics and still be logical. Logical =/= realistic.
 

Bamboo

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Is this a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to say that a stringent requirement for "logic" doesn't apply across all realms for most people?

Is this ^ a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to say that a stringent requirement for "logic" doesn't apply across all realms for most people?

:newwink:


But sure, action films don't "make sense" most the time. At any rate, it was never said that the movie had to make sense, just everything else. Logic might dictate that people should have some fun with a silly movie.
 

Orangey

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Just making a counterpoint for the sake of it, but a film can be perfectly logical - internally consistent, that is - while being totally unrealistic. It can be set in entirely different worlds that abandon our laws of physics and still be logical. Logical =/= realistic.

Granted.

Is this ^ a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to say that a stringent requirement for "logic" doesn't apply across all realms for most people?

:newwink:

Must you force me to agree with you?
 

Bamboo

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hahaha, you could address it. i'm not forcing you to agree with me, although I think my point is entirely valid. i actually agreed with your point, but i'm changing the lens to look at the situation.

the point was, it was never said in the op that the movies they were watching (in of themselves) had to be practical. you said that.

see:

ESFP, ESTP, ISTP friends like:
-any music with a beat
-hate predictability
-stories which focus on action like gunfights, martial arts, and car chases
-everything, to them has to make complete logical sense and be practical
-fast-paced, always things happening

Also, how can films or music be practical? And how can these ISTPs/ESTPs/ESFPs enjoy martial arts films AND require that films make logical sense (unless it's like...a Tae Bo instructional video or something)?

So what I'm saying is that there is another way to look at it. I descibed it here:

Logic might dictate that people should have some fun with a silly movie.

Which might be totally practical: people work better when they have rest and entertainment.
 

Orangey

Blah
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hahaha, you could address it. i'm not forcing you to agree with me, although I think my point is entirely valid. i actually agreed with your point, but i'm changing the lens to look at the situation.

the point was, it was never said in the op that the movies they were watching (in of themselves) had to be practical. you said that.

see:





So what I'm saying is that there is another way to look at it. I descibed it here:



Which might be totally practical: people work better when they have rest and entertainment.

I understood, and was agreeing with you :newwink:.
 

Bamboo

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i'm going to say "ok" because i don't know what's going on at this point. legit or confusion tactic - "ok."
 

Moonflower

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Jan 15, 2011
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You're likes are so so borrrinngggg. :)

Funny. My friend who I highly suspect is ISTP says that exact same thing or complains about sappiness to just about everything I put on to watch by myself while he's also in the room.
 
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