[ISTP] istp's Do you want kids?

[tayto]

As an ISTP male, (95% I), I have no desire to have children. Most of the ISTP's I know share my view point as well. Even if we like other peoples kids, we notice how much work it is from observation. Fact is we know that already. When new parents yack about all the work, were like "you didnt see that coming?" We would have no alone time to chill. Raising kids looks stressful.

And what about worldwide over POPULATION? As 'realist' ISTP's see this loud and clear. Hello breeders...there are too many people on the planet.

Although most ISTP's would do everything possible to be good parent, given a choice most would pass. I am very in touch with people close to me, and very personable with these people, so I would make a good dad, but have no desire for fatherhood. This makes relationships almost impossible - I can date younger women that actually don't know if they want children or go for ones my age that have kids already. When ever I meet someone childless my age, seems her first question is do I want kids - instant deal breaker for both.

No it's not lazy to not want kids. Lets face it most of us are created accidentally. I don't know of a single kid who was planned.

Raising kids is tedious and stressful. I love my kid to death but having my freedom taken away has actually caused me to become depressed. My own stupid fault of course so....

 

[Randomnity]

No it's not lazy to not want kids. Lets face it most of us are created accidentally. I don't know of a single kid who was planned.

Raising kids is tedious and stressful. I love my kid to death but having my freedom taken away has actually caused me to become depressed. My own stupid fault of course so....

...Seriously?!

Tell your friends to start using birth control.

 

[Vasilisa]

Its an interesting topic to me, as recently I came to a realization that my ISTP father, who is a very good and very accomplished man, almost certainly does not view fatherhood as the role that he got the most out of in life. You may reflexively think I am simply being presumptuous, but if you knew him and heard him speak his heart, I think you would agree. My mother agrees and they have been together for ages. Its very rare that people today would say aloud something like that, admit that parenthood was not their most fulfilling role. But it isn't for many people. And that is okay. For him, it seems his work (and the experiences and adventures that gave him) was what was sustaining and deeply fulfilling to his soul. As his child, this realization is profound, but I think it is good to face the truth and not pine for an ideal that never was, nor could be. Its part of growing up. I have cultivated acceptance for this and for him.

 

[tayto]

...Seriously?!

Tell your friends to start using birth control.

What fluffy cloud world do you come from? Birth control does go wrong and when it does babies get born.

 

[tayto]

Its an interesting topic to me, as recently I came to a realization that my ISTP father, who is a very good and very accomplished man, almost certainly does not view fatherhood as the role that he got the most out of in life. You may reflexively think I am simply being presumptuous, but if you knew him and heard him speak his heart, I think you would agree. My mother agrees and they have been together for ages. Its very rare that people today would say aloud something like that, admit that parenthood was not their most fulfilling role. But it isn't for many people. And that is okay. For him, it seems his work (and the experiences and adventures that gave him) was what was sustaining and deeply fulfilling to his soul. As his child, this realization is profound, but I think it is good to face the truth and not pine for an ideal that never was, nor could be. Its part of growing up. I have cultivated acceptance for this and for him.

Ah but he does love you though, just in his own way. My daughter happens to be infj and he admires alot of her qualities as I'm sure your father does with you. He just doesn't like to nurture people by doing mundane tasks for them and listening to all their emotional drama's. It doesn't mean you don't occupy a very big part of his heart.

 

[rhinosaur]

Well it turns out he doesn't want kids afterall. Phew! He was just talking shit when he said he wanted a family. He was absorbed in watching the second season of dexter when he blurted that out and cos he related to the character so much, I think he thought for a moment that a quaint little family life was what he wanted. Plus we were fighting alot at the time. My kid had a few of her friends sleep over and the noise they made put him off kids for life.

I'd also like to add, for the sake of any enfp's out there in turmoil that he finally realised he loves me. After 5 years! Ha ha, you istp's are retarded! I say that with love so don't get offended. He was in the middle of a poker game and it hit him like a tone of bricks and he ran (yes actually ran) up the road to tell me at 6 o' clock in the morning. Ha ha, he burst in the door and said he loved me about 17 times. I was like "you're only copping on to that now? You poor emotional retard, I knew you loved me years ago, all the clues were there" I feel like the luckiest enfp in the world.

LOL, this was great to read. I'm glad he's come to his senses.

Regarding kids, I could take them or leave them. Wouldn't mind being a dad at some point, but currently am trying to be career-focused and I'm sure I wouldn't have the time unless I put my career on hold. Plus the wife isn't too fond of kids. I do have a niece if I ever have the urge to listen to a 5-year old explain the universe.

 

[SillySapienne]

My ISTP views children as parasites.

T'was the reason why we eventually split.

 

[Randomnity]

What fluffy cloud world do you come from? Birth control does go wrong and when it does babies get born.

What kind of horrible world do you live in? You said you don't know a single child who was planned which is completely....insane.

Birth control works 99+% of the time when you take it properly, and combining 2 methods gives protection well above that. That means accidents certainly can happen but the birth rate is not anywhere near low enough for all children to be accidents....

I don't think people who don't want to be parents should be parents. They're usually bad at it, although sometimes they can fake it well enough.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

This whole forum is for my childish amusement.....

 

[Orangey]

What kind of horrible world do you live in? You said you don't know a single child who was planned which is completely....insane.

Birth control works 99+% of the time when you take it properly, and combining 2 methods gives protection well above that. That means accidents certainly can happen but the birth rate is not anywhere near low enough for all children to be accidents....

I don't think people who don't want to be parents should be parents. They're usually bad at it, although sometimes they can fake it well enough.

Surely his claim that "most of us are created accidentally" was hyperbole. Of course there is nowhere on Earth where 100% of births, or even the majority, were the result of unwanted pregnancy. That said, the U.S. does have a ridiculous rate (I believe it's something like 49% of all pregnancies, with nearly half of those resulting in childbirth.) Also, of the 49% of unwanted pregnancies that occur, something like 44% of those are reported to have occurred while using contraceptives.

Clearly, contraceptives are not all they're cracked up to be...

 

[Randomnity]

Surely his claim that "most of us are created accidentally" was hyperbole. Of course there is nowhere on Earth where 100% of births, or even the majority, were the result of unwanted pregnancy. That said, the U.S. does have a ridiculous rate (I believe it's something like 49% of all pregnancies, with nearly half of those resulting in childbirth.) Also, of the 49% of unwanted pregnancies that occur, something like 44% of those are reported to have occurred while using contraceptives.

Clearly, contraceptives are not all they're cracked up to be...

Good lord, seriously? I'm puzzled because even 1/4 of all pregnancies being accidental pill/IUD/hormonal BC babies seems far, far too many for their failure rate. That number must include contraceptives like condoms (probably improperly used/broken) or diaphragms alone? Or the rhythm method/withdrawal? Maybe crossing your fingers and praying?

I guess I can revise my statement to "take effective birth control". I don't count condoms as birth control, actually. Failure rate's too high, especially improperly used. They're more useful for an added protection bonus.

 

[Amargith]

Who knew the subject of children could cause the normally so cool and collected ISTPs to go so crazy

 

[jixmixfix]

My ISTP views children as parasites.

T'was the reason why we eventually split.

He has good point thurr

 

[babbygirlk]

I cant say no 100%, but right now it's 90% sure I don't want them. I love my freedom to much and I can't put my kid through that. I love the freedom of being able to go anywhere or do anything even if I don't go or do.

 

[Patches]

My ISTP views children as parasites.

T'was the reason why we eventually split.

Parasite: A (generally undesirable) living organism that exists by stealing the resources produced/collected by another living organism.

Child: A (generally undesirable) living organism that exists by stealing the resources produced/collected by another living organism.

I see no problem here.

 

[tayto]

What kind of horrible world do you live in? You said you don't know a single child who was planned which is completely....insane.

Birth control works 99+% of the time when you take it properly, and combining 2 methods gives protection well above that. That means accidents certainly can happen but the birth rate is not anywhere near low enough for all children to be accidents....

I don't think people who don't want to be parents should be parents. They're usually bad at it, although sometimes they can fake it well enough.

Well, I was an accident. I think most people do want to have kids but generally they want them later rather than sooner. I honestly don't know anyone close to me who has planned a pregnancy, that isn't to say the children were not then wanted.

 

[Orangey]

Good lord, seriously? I'm puzzled because even 1/4 of all pregnancies being accidental pill/IUD/hormonal BC babies seems far, far too many for their failure rate. That number must include contraceptives like condoms (probably improperly used/broken) or diaphragms alone? Or the rhythm method/withdrawal? Maybe crossing your fingers and praying?

I guess I can revise my statement to "take effective birth control". I don't count condoms as birth control, actually. Failure rate's too high, especially improperly used. They're more useful for an added protection bonus.

Yeah, half of ALL women with unintended pregnancies (which amounts to about a quarter of all pregnancies) reported that they became pregnant while they were taking birth control.

 

[tayto]

I cant say no 100%, but right now it's 90% sure I don't want them. I love my freedom to much and I can't put my kid through that. I love the freedom of being able to go anywhere or do anything even if I don't go or do.

Yeah that's it. Just knowing you can. The only way I can cope is by telling myself I probably wouldn't have gone or done anyway cos I couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery. Eventhough I know damn well I would have gone to thailand for a year a few years back when a few of my friends did. But I would have probably ended up in prison over there, cos I was a lunatic, so it's just as well I stayed here.

 

[tayto]

Good lord, seriously? I'm puzzled because even 1/4 of all pregnancies being accidental pill/IUD/hormonal BC babies seems far, far too many for their failure rate. That number must include contraceptives like condoms (probably improperly used/broken) or diaphragms alone? Or the rhythm method/withdrawal? Maybe crossing your fingers and praying?

I guess I can revise my statement to "take effective birth control". I don't count condoms as birth control, actually. Failure rate's too high, especially improperly used. They're more useful for an added protection bonus.

For the pill to be effective you have to be a certain type of person I think. The type of person who can actually remember to take the thing at the same time every day. It's alot harder than you'd think.

 

[ZtX]

I guess I can revise my statement to "take effective birth control". I don't count condoms as birth control, actually. Failure rate's too high, especially improperly used. They're more useful for an added protection bonus.

Failure rate for anything is pretty high when improperly used. That said, I have never had a condom break on me. Also, if you have any kind of sensory awareness, you'll know if the thing is slipping.