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[ISFP] ISFPs

liYA

New member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
146
I came across this statement

''I tend to not take criticism too well and for this reason: To me, my opinions define who I am as a person, when you reject my opinion, you reject me as a person. There is nothing worse then that for an XNFP.''

do you feel this way?
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
yes. i take it personally, especially when i am speaking out my opinions with people whom aren't so close to me. which is why i refrain from speaking my opinions aloud unless i'm with a close compadre whom i know for sure isn't rejecting me personally. i don't talk politics, religion, ideals, etc. with most people unless in a comfortable setting. i think this is why a lot of ISFP's will seem as though they don't take life seriously. because we hold back a lot of our views due to Fi. not to mention, sometimes because Te is less developed, we have a hard time thoroughly explaining our opinions in a clear way and have a hard time backing ourselves up in an argumentive way.
 

gromit

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Mar 3, 2010
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6,508
There are a few types of opinions that I hold very closely (particularly about faith and that sort of thing), I tend to only share them with people I trust. However, in general I'm open to hearing other people's perspectives on my opinions and on my behaviors.
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't mind criticism. I do mind criticism if it sounds blatantly mean, disrespectful, etc.

You know, "constructive" criticism. Not just... "you suck."
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
yes. i take it personally, especially when i am speaking out my opinions with people whom aren't so close to me. which is why i refrain from speaking my opinions aloud unless i'm with a close compadre whom i know for sure isn't rejecting me personally. i don't talk politics, religion, ideals, etc. with most people unless in a comfortable setting. i think this is why a lot of ISFP's will seem as though they don't take life seriously. because we hold back a lot of our views due to Fi. not to mention, sometimes because Te is less developed, we have a hard time thoroughly explaining our opinions in a clear way and have a hard time backing ourselves up in an argumentive way.

This completely.
 

Chaotic Harmony

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,436
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
While I might take some criticism personally I don't feel like I'm being rejected as a person... Everyone has their own opinions... In my eyes I'd be rejecting other people by thinking my opinion was the only valid one!
 

JoSunshine

That's my name biotch!
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
659
MBTI Type
eNfj
Enneagram
2
While I might take some criticism personally I don't feel like I'm being rejected as a person... Everyone has their own opinions... In my eyes I'd be rejecting other people by thinking my opinion was the only valid one!

Profound :yes:

Carry on ISFPs :cheese:
 

Sunny Ghost

New member
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May 28, 2010
Messages
2,396
While I might take some criticism personally I don't feel like I'm being rejected as a person... Everyone has their own opinions... In my eyes I'd be rejecting other people by thinking my opinion was the only valid one!

as much as i agree with this, my Fi isn't hurt because i feel as though i have the only valid opinion... but rather because it takes a lot for me to share in the first place, and the process of sharing leaves my Fi feeling vulnerable and insecure. i have no problem with "constructive criticism". but some people are blantly rude about another's views and opinions. it's as though, someone just thinks i'm ridiculous for thinking ___.

for example, i'm a vegetarian... and my ex roommate used to always give me a hard time about it. one time in particular we all got back from drinking at the bars and were eating pizza. i picked off the pepperoni's and gave them to someone else to munch on. i never verbally brought up my views, but it felt as though he began to attack me as a person. he kept bringing up all the reasons why i shouldn't be a vegetarian and said things along the lines of me not eating meat isn't going to make a difference and i'm just making myself suffer. because my Te is weak, especially when i'm not prepared, my Fi just felt hurt and he ultimately made me feel stupid. finally, another friend jumped in and told him that this wasn't polite conversation and that i was allowed to have my own views.
 

gromit

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Mar 3, 2010
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6,508
YES, you described it quite well, about feeling vulnerable, and about not feeling able to defend your values on the spot when somebody challenges them, and feeling a little dumb for not being able to explain it.
 

Walking Tourist

it's tea time!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
1,452
MBTI Type
esfp
Enneagram
7
I like criticism when it comes with practical suggestions for improvement. For example: The perspective in your drawing is off. You can fix that problem by extending the lines out to the vanishing point out there...
If the criticism is constructive and comes with practical suggestions for improvement, I appreciate it very much, as it gives me an opportunity to learn and to grow as an artist and as a person.
If the criticism is just negative, it annoys me and, first, I get offended but then, I try to consider the source and disregard the comment!!! Usually, a really negative piece of criticism reflects more on the person doing the criticizing than on the person being criticized.
 

Chaotic Harmony

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,436
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
as much as i agree with this, my Fi isn't hurt because i feel as though i have the only valid opinion... but rather because it takes a lot for me to share in the first place, and the process of sharing leaves my Fi feeling vulnerable and insecure. i have no problem with "constructive criticism". but some people are blantly rude about another's views and opinions. it's as though, someone just thinks i'm ridiculous for thinking ___.

for example, i'm a vegetarian... and my ex roommate used to always give me a hard time about it. one time in particular we all got back from drinking at the bars and were eating pizza. i picked off the pepperoni's and gave them to someone else to munch on. i never verbally brought up my views, but it felt as though he began to attack me as a person. he kept bringing up all the reasons why i shouldn't be a vegetarian and said things along the lines of me not eating meat isn't going to make a difference and i'm just making myself suffer. because my Te is weak, especially when i'm not prepared, my Fi just felt hurt and he ultimately made me feel stupid. finally, another friend jumped in and told him that this wasn't polite conversation and that i was allowed to have my own views.

Ah, when phrased this way I understand where you are coming from... I had a hard time looking at it that way because I do keep so many things to myself. So I didn't really see it that way at first. Sigh.... And I deal with rude people every holiday.... My aunt is one of those people that never things about what she's saying.... And never sees the err in her way after she's upset someone....
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
ISFPs are sensitive to tonality. Harsh tones can either tick them off or on the other hand place them into quiet resentment.

"Softeners" are nice linguistic devices when harsh truths or unpleasant messages must be placed before the ISFP. Soft or gentle caressing tonality is effective (and nice and comfy) to use when applying softeners.
The following is a demonstration of a softener.

NLP language patterns a lot of times though, they just slip on by without any detection whatsoever. Kind of like the Shaolin Monk or Ninja of linguistics.

This particular set of patterns fits more into that style - intervention by stealth.

These ones are useful when it is appropriate to reduce the extent to which a statement can be challenged. We are bypassing defense strategies when we do these well - the person listening doesn't put their guard up to be ready to challenge. This can be very useful in many situations, particularly difficult ones.

Anything can be a Softener and a way to become familiar with the concept is to consider the following as possible combinations.

These are probably among the most effective patterns to learn. If you were to choose one or two for first practice I would include these.

Possibly, maybe, could, among the many, you may consider, others have found .....


Perhaps you could understand how it is that many people find learning to be stimulating and invigorating.

Notice how the above statement is difficult to challenge and yet notice the direction the mind is sent in.

Compare to "Learning is stimulating and invigorating." This is much more likely to be challenged.

Among the various directions we could go in now, perhaps we could begin to consider a few, such as perhaps budget constraints along with other ideas that …….


Note the direction of attention we have set up. We are more likely to get this on the agenda now rather than by just stating: "Let's look at the budget". This statement is far more open to challenge.

Given there are many possible applications of NLP Language patterns you might consider this one as an option...
 
R

Riva

Guest
I used to have this issue a long time ago. I used to boil when people rejected my opinions, laughed at them, dismissed them or ignored them.

then it all went away. Now it doesn't matter at all to me when people reject my ideas. I mean yes i would try to prove that I my opinions was correct. but it does not matter whether it gets approved or rejected. It has come to a stage for me that I wouldn't even care if I prove I am correct and it still gets rejected, I still wouldn't care. I would shrug it off with a laugh. (Somewhat of an annoyed laugh.) It is quite impossible not to get annoyed if something is proven and it still gets rejected. Sigh!

I think the reason for this is quite sometime back I made a conscious effort and told myself that I wouldn't care that my opinions get rejected. It was a conscious effort. But then again I am quite witty too. So I could handle MOST SITUATIONS that others cannot.

:cool:
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
ISFPs are sensitive to tonality. Harsh tones can either tick them off or on the other hand place them into quiet resentment.

"Softeners" are nice linguistic devices when harsh truths or unpleasant messages must be placed before the ISFP. Soft or gentle caressing tonality is effective (and nice and comfy) to use when applying softeners.

I dislike any tonality that falls out of my predefined acceptable tonality ranges for said encounter. Whiny tones are always a no go zone. Harsh tones are acceptable in certain environments. Tones that are too soft in medium to harsh tonal environments bug me too. It is all about the right tone for the right occasion.

It is all case by case when it comes to tonality.

''I tend to not take criticism too well and for this reason: To me, my opinions define who I am as a person, when you reject my opinion, you reject me as a person. There is nothing worse then that for an XNFP.''

do you feel this way?

I don't feel my love of meat pies defines me. Maybe my love of pastry goods defines me more. Or moving higher my love of tasty food. Or even higher enjoying food in good company. Or even higher my love of enjoyment in life.

I really don't mind if you have a fruit pie.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Wolfy: That guy that likes pies.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
I don't know, criticise me and let's see.
 
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