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[ISTP] ISTP and friendship

Aleta

New member
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
Messages
13
MBTI Type
INFJ
Maybe there is similar topic, so sorry, but I did not find it.
One of my female friends could be ISTP. So, how would you describe your way of being friend. She is calm, confident. We are both introverts, so we are rather reserved in communication, but somehow she is one of my friends that makes me feel calm too. It's nice to chat without drama, trash talking, telling people what they should do etc.
Is it common ISTP thing to be reserved, in a way that you don't need to open yourself too much or complaining?
Any clue how to be better friend to ISTP?
 

jixmixfix

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Jun 21, 2009
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Honestly just give them freedom and don't hover around them so much, and be there when they need/want you around. Also some kind of activity where you and the ISTP can get involved in something, rather than talking about gossip, negative feelings and getting too personal.
 

Randomnity

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May 8, 2007
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ISTP
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sp/sx
Maybe there is similar topic, so sorry, but I did not find it.
One of my female friends could be ISTP. So, how would you describe your way of being friend. She is calm, confident. We are both introverts, so we are rather reserved in communication, but somehow she is one of my friends that makes me feel calm too. It's nice to chat without drama, trash talking, telling people what they should do etc.
Is it common ISTP thing to be reserved, in a way that you don't need to open yourself too much or complaining?
Yes.
Any clue how to be better friend to ISTP?
Don't be a dick.
Do fun stuff together.
Offer help if needed, and follow through.
That's about it, really.
 

proximo

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Nov 4, 2009
Messages
584
*nods vigorously*

This is how my ISTP and I have remained best buds without a single argument for the past 7 years. We do fun stuff together and only ever talk about personal stuff once in a blue moon, under the influence of alcohol, for the duration of about two minutes before moving on. If he wants to open up, he does, but people pry, poke, prod and all that, he just clams up and bolts. Not really any need for it anyway, since his actions always speak very plainly and clearly as to what his thoughts are!
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
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5,996
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ISFJ
Honestly just give them freedom and don't hover around them so much, and be there when they need/want you around.

Lol, this kind of sounds like : "serve" the ISTP.
 

MonkeyGrass

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Jun 13, 2009
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Ask them to help you with a project they'll really be good at (and you can work on together), ask him/her hiking or camping, bring excellent food and beer. Don't expect to spend a lot of time braiding each other's hair, and you're good. :D
 

MonkeyGrass

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Lol, this kind of sounds like : "serve" the ISTP.

If you're going to be their friend, that's pretty much what it amounts to. The cool thing, though, is, once you're friends, they're generally willing to do the same for you, as long as you don't demand it. Involve, don't insist.
 

Zoom

Self sustaining supernova
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
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Enneagram
9w8
Don't be a dick.
Do fun stuff together.
Offer help if needed, and follow through.
That's about it, really.

:yes: Oh, and feed us. Free food is like kryptonite, as long as it's tasty.
 

Randomnity

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^^Agreed x1000. It'll probably even work if it's not all that tasty, as long as you don't force us to eat it. :cheese:
 

Bamboo

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Jan 28, 2009
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2,689
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XXFP
Yeah, I'm generally quiet. I stay out of drama. If you want to get me involved in gossip and rumors, I'll stay away from you.

If you want to be my friend, show me respect and be straight with me and entertain me. Do those, and I'll do the same for you best I can.
 

Aleta

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Nov 6, 2010
Messages
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INFJ
Thanks. I thought that it is something like you described, I just wanted to be certain.
:)
 

Aleta

New member
Joined
Nov 6, 2010
Messages
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MBTI Type
INFJ
And yes, I think that people of any type can be likeable or non likeable, but knowing some ISTPs I realised that I have some strange thing for that type. In friendlyor any other way.
So, maybe it's time for this INFJ to find some free male ISTP...
 

Bev

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Oct 8, 2010
Messages
10
MBTI Type
ISTP
Don't force things on them,treat her with respect and she'll do the same for you, if you believe she needs help tell her that you're there but don't keep going on at her. But yeah have fun go paintballing or something :p
 

jixmixfix

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apparently I'm known to be picky with my food, and eating things without actually finishing haha. Which is offensive to some people.
 

Aleta

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Nov 6, 2010
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apparently I'm known to be picky with my food, and eating things without actually finishing haha. Which is offensive to some people.

I did not know that ISTPs are so into food or beer...you always learn somethingnew:)
 

ChocolateMoose123

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*nods vigorously*

This is how my ISTP and I have remained best buds without a single argument for the past 7 years. We do fun stuff together and only ever talk about personal stuff once in a blue moon, under the influence of alcohol, for the duration of about two minutes before moving on. If he wants to open up, he does, but people pry, poke, prod and all that, he just clams up and bolts. Not really any need for it anyway, since his actions always speak very plainly and clearly as to what his thoughts are!

Amen.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
ISTPs are some cool mofos. I like TPs in general, though. They help me to chill. Nothing's worse than being around a bunch of TJs. Somebody's gonna end up having a heart attack.
 

tkae.

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Sep 4, 2010
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INFP
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This thread reminded me how much I tend to forget that ISTPs are still Thinkers, even despite the stereotype for SPs to be less T-driven.

Like... I'm kinda sensitive to T-ness (like that moss that turns a certain color when water in the area is polluted), and you guys set off my T alarm way more than INTPs do lol :blushing:

I mean, I'm sorry, but I gotta agree with some other people so far. It sounds more like you guys want drinking partners more than you want actual "friends". With my friends, I ask them how things are going and make sure everything's okay in their personal lives. And if it's not, it's my job, as a friend, to know and be there to support them.

I mean, that's the difference between someone who's my friend and who's my acquaintance. With my friends, I actually care about what's going on with them and want to be there for them. So...
 

Randomnity

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If it's not fun to interact with someone, why bother? It's not that we have to be doing fun things all the time, well it doesn't hurt, but many people are enjoyable to just talk with, too. It helps if they can be supportive and trustworthy when needed, if I want to count them in with the friends that I trust, but the vast majority of the time I'm with them I don't want or need to be talking about emotional stuff, so the simpler things are more important. I guess I would try to be emotionally supportive if that ever came up, but my friends are mostly male, mostly thinkers and I suppose I'm not really a touchy feely-seeming person either, so I don't get many people confiding emotional things to me, even people I'm dating (most of the time). I think most people really don't have serious emotional problems that need talking out very often, anyway. Minor things are usually more easily solved by improving your mood (fun stuff) than by dwelling over it anyway.

I really don't need or want full-on NF emotional support very often if at all, and I'm not very good at giving it either, so I tend to not be close friends with people who need that interaction. So everyone's happy. :)
 
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