• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[SP] Clue me in here, dudes..

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Tell me something, SP's..

I find myself,when in the presence of an Se-user, to somehow be at a loss for words. Or rather..they shut me up by not saying anything themselves. :blush:

All I know is, we're talking, something sweet or meaningful is said and there's this ....pause. Then there's the look (even online they do 'the look', I have *no* clue how!). Possibly accompanied by some bodylanguage. Time f*cking stands still, as they gaze at you, seemingly saying a million things at once without even uttering a word. Or at least, that's how it feels. There's this sense of understanding, of being in sync, or reciprocation, or of sheer bewilderment, of connecting...

And then the moment passes and they mention casually somethign about wanting to grab a soda, leaving me to wonder if I all imagined it :doh:


Tell me I aint dreaming this. Tell me this isn't just me, that they're actually aware of it and experience this as well. And tell me if they experience it the way I do, or if I'm just frigging high on my own feelings at that time :doh:
 

Blown Ghost

New member
Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Messages
279
MBTI Type
ESFP
I'm not an "SP" but here is my assessment of the situation (it's fun for me :alttongue:) They are aware of it but their experience is likely very different. Due to their sensory awareness they think of you and your unintentional signals to a high degree. This gives them something to appreciate, they feel compelled to comment, then wait for you to comprehend what they said. Since they're so well aware of you it's probably pretty accurate and it creates a lot of feelings in the span of time that follows. They aren't actually "saying" anything else but you do feel a lot has been communicated. Not only does this surprise you but you suddenly become aware of their awareness which is why you feel connected.

Meanwhile they're still waiting and at the same time becoming aware of your response. They sense that they've put you off-balance so they change gears and say something casual to give you some emotional breathing space. You're still catching up, though, so this invisible change in pace makes you doubt whether your initial feelings are (or ever were) applicable.
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Tell me something, SP's..

Anything for you, of course! :hug:

I find myself,when in the presence of an Se-user, to somehow be at a loss for words. Or rather..they shut me up by not saying anything themselves. :blush:

We eventually learn to listen, yes we do! :D
When I was younger I most likely talked too much.

But as I got older, and more more experienced with socializing I began to realize that every conversation has multiple paths that it can travel through at any given point in time, and that it is alot more fun to LISTEN to what your friend is saying, because in doing so you learn alot more, and see so many different sides to what they are discussing with you...

God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk. :newink:

All I know is, we're talking, something sweet or meaningful is said and there's this ....pause. Then there's the look (even online they do 'the look', I have *no* clue how!). Possibly accompanied by some bodylanguage. Time f*cking stands still, as they gaze at you, seemingly saying a million things at once without even uttering a word. Or at least, that's how it feels. There's this sense of understanding, of being in sync, or reciprocation, or of sheer bewilderment, of connecting...

Those are great moments! To know that something you said has positively affected the person you are talking with is delightful, and the worst thing to do is to keep jabbering. Seeing what they do with the conversation is the best way to keep that good vibe alive, and in the mean time I can scan our surroundings and look for new sources of material to use later in the chat. :cheese:

And then the moment passes and they mention casually somethign about wanting to grab a soda, leaving me to wonder if I all imagined it :doh:

Nope! sometimes we get thirsty. It's very SRSLY. :yes:

Tell me I aint dreaming this. Tell me this isn't just me, that they're actually aware of it and experience this as well. And tell me if they experience it the way I do, or if I'm just frigging high on my own feelings at that time :doh:

We (SPs) loooooove interacting with people, and there is nothing nicer for us to experience than seeing our friends happy, especially if we got to experience them getting there. For what it's worth, we're just as happy on the inside during moments like that. :blush:

I can only speak for STPs, but I know that at times everything that is on my mind is not easily apparent. The whole "T" thing really does contribute to us appearing "aloof" or "emotionally flat" but that's really just a facet of us taking everything around us in, processing it into tiny little bits of information and sticking together, and figuring out how it relates to what we are doing at the moment. Our feelings are there, we just enjoy them on a less visibly apparent level, but we have alot going on inside too. :)

Nice topic, thanks for posting it. ;)
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Yes, it's definitely that ultra-meaningful connection moment thingy you said.

Especially if that results in making out. :cool:
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
MBTI Type
ESTP
Reeeaaallly depends on which SP you talk to. Are we capable of it? Yes. Do most of us love camaraderie and sharing moments? Probably. Do we feel the moment as intensely as you do? Probably not.

But mostly I just wanted to address this:

Nope! sometimes we get thirsty. It's very SRSLY. :yes:
It's SUUUPER CEREAL! :happy:
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Tell me something, SP's..

I find myself,when in the presence of an Se-user, to somehow be at a loss for words. Or rather..they shut me up by not saying anything themselves. :blush:

All I know is, we're talking, something sweet or meaningful is said and there's this ....pause. Then there's the look (even online they do 'the look', I have *no* clue how!). Possibly accompanied by some bodylanguage. Time f*cking stands still, as they gaze at you, seemingly saying a million things at once without even uttering a word. Or at least, that's how it feels. There's this sense of understanding, of being in sync, or reciprocation, or of sheer bewilderment, of connecting...

And then the moment passes and they mention casually somethign about wanting to grab a soda, leaving me to wonder if I all imagined it :doh:


Tell me I aint dreaming this. Tell me this isn't just me, that they're actually aware of it and experience this as well. And tell me if they experience it the way I do, or if I'm just frigging high on my own feelings at that time :doh:


I can't speak for how other people feel when they interact with me so I don't know if it is similar for them. I do know that on some rare occasions I've been aware of someone staring at me after we converse. I'll stare back for a little bit thinking they will continue. I don't know whether they think I've got more to say (I don't) but I immediately think, "That person is looking at me strange. Something happened. Whatever it is - I missed it. Awkward."

Then again, if it's a person I feel a certain chemistry with - physical or mental - it's not awkward but awkwardly exciting. :yes:
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
Joined
Jul 7, 2007
Messages
3,895
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Yes, it's definitely that ultra-meaningful connection moment thingy you said.

Especially if that results in making out. :cool:

Oh, agreed.

Good to see you, foxy jeff. Long time no see.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
MBTI Type
ESTP
Hah, yeah, I've done the double-take MDP's talkin' about, too. Like, wtf are they looking at me all creepy-like for? They tryin' to gauge my movements before springing a surprise attack!? :rofl1: Later I grew to realize it's supposed to be a positive thing. Go figure. LOL.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
:) if I'm silent while with someone after something has been said I'm looking at them for verbal cues as to how I should respond to what they said... it's a sense of uncertainty in a situation in which I don't want to do my usual verbal blundering... it's a sign that someone is important for me... or that I didn't really hear what they said and am trying to figure it out :blush:

if someone is staring at me I automatically assume that they're scanning me for non-verbal cues like I do and I either adjust my body language to conceal my thoughts or if I am feeling nice I'll use it to demonstrate what I'm thinking instead :laugh:
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Words get in the way. Nice when that happens, happens a lot too. I've been asked 'what, what?' more than once.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Thanks for all the responses :smile:

Lemme make this clear: I *love* it when that happens. I just wonder whether they even realize that they're giving me an adrenaline rush at that point just by looking at me. I've sorta learned how to return the look and it seems that you either get someone who smiles softly and disengages at that point or someone who just comes closer and starts touching you, or dancing around you without saying anything and without taking their eyes off of you.

I also am always disappointed when we get out of that moment..it's so awesome to be in. I know it's borderline uncomfortable as it makes you so vulnerable, but it's awesome :blush:

And it does happen with other types as well...but I find that if you get on with an Se-user, it happens more naturally and frequently...so I'm trying to understand why they do this. I know why I do it, but I was kinda guessing already that it wasn't the same for them, for you guys.


You made me think though...all the scenarios you mentionned, I see now that there are different reasons that this happens, depending on the situation. *ponders*
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Thanks for all the responses :smile:

Anything for you... :newwink:

Lemme make this clear: I *love* it when that happens. I just wonder whether they even realize that they're giving me an adrenaline rush at that point just by looking at me. I've sorta learned how to return the look and it seems that you either get someone who smiles softly and disengages at that point or someone who just comes closer and starts touching you, or dancing around you without saying anything and without taking their eyes off of you.

I also am always disappointed when we get out of that moment..it's so awesome to be in. I know it's borderline uncomfortable as it makes you so vulnerable, but it's awesome :blush:

Here's my final contribution to this topic.

In general, Sensors love figuring out their environment, taking not e of all around them, and being able to understand it in order to interact with it to accomplish what they wish to/need to.

In general, Artisans love people and interacting with people. We pay attention to people as we do because unlike common items in the environment, people are completely variabel, autonomous, and so often unpredictable. When we interact with them and there comes a moment of pure, beautiful silence, we get to observe the person we are interacting with in all their glory, as they are, a living monument of beauty.

And it does happen with other types as well...but I find that if you get on with an Se-user, it happens more naturally and frequently...so I'm trying to understand why they do this. I know why I do it, but I was kinda guessing already that it wasn't the same for them, for you guys.

You made me think though...all the scenarios you mentionned, I see now that there are different reasons that this happens, depending on the situation. *ponders*

In cases like this, I just take those moments as they come, and don't think about them too much.

Just enjoy life, and enjoy the good moments with the beautiful people in your life.

Those are among the most precious of simple pleasures. :D
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Anything for you... :newwink:



Here's my final contribution to this topic.

In general, Sensors love figuring out their environment, taking not e of all around them, and being able to understand it in order to interact with it to accomplish what they wish to/need to.

In general, Artisans love people and interacting with people. We pay attention to people as we do because unlike common items in the environment, people are completely variabel, autonomous, and so often unpredictable. When we interact with them and there comes a moment of pure, beautiful silence, we get to observe the person we are interacting with in all their glory, as they are, a living monument of beauty.


In cases like this, I just take those moments as they come, and don't think about them too much.

Just enjoy life, and enjoy the good moments with the beautiful people in your life.

Those are among the most precious of simple pleasures. :D

Thanks Halla...the bolded was exactly what I was looking for, as that is what I do as well, and the rest of the post was like the perfect icing on the cake :hug:
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
MBTI Type
ESTP
I've sorta learned how to return the look and it seems that you either get someone who smiles softly and disengages at that point or someone who just comes closer and starts touching you, or dancing around you without saying anything and without taking their eyes off of you.
...a stripper? :rofl1:

And it does happen with other types as well...but I find that if you get on with an Se-user, it happens more naturally and frequently...
Yes, well we DO like having sex more often than the other types. :yes: :newwink:

Also:
In general, Artisans love people and interacting with people. We pay attention to people as we do because unlike common items in the environment, people are completely variabel, autonomous, and so often unpredictable. When we interact with them and there comes a moment of pure, beautiful silence, we get to observe the person we are interacting with in all their glory, as they are, a living monument of beauty.
This.
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
In general, Artisans love people and interacting with people. We pay attention to people as we do because unlike common items in the environment, people are completely variabel, autonomous, and so often unpredictable. When we interact with them and there comes a moment of pure, beautiful silence, we get to observe the person we are interacting with in all their glory, as they are, a living monument of beauty.


In cases like this, I just take those moments as they come, and don't think about them too much.

Just enjoy life, and enjoy the good moments with the beautiful people in your life.

Those are among the most precious of simple pleasures.
:D

Couldnt have said it better myself.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
The only "look" I give is a slightly constipated one.

:wacko:

I'm intrigued that they can give this "look" online, through text?
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
The only "look" I give is a slightly constipated one.

:wacko:

I'm intrigued that they can give this "look" online, through text?

Ehm...well, it's kinda..I guess my Ne fills it in.

You see, I tend to study conversations and people's reactions. And when I don't get all the info in a convo (due to physical limitation such as the internet etc), I tend to Ne all the possibilities of what's going on, to closely match the situation to something I've seen before. If I haven't seen it before, I'll actually question and ask (as I'm doing now :D) to verify my hunches.

But otherwise, it's like my imagination fills in for the lack of a real visual and I can actually feel and see what's going on between two people, given enough background info on the person and enough insight in what kind of vibe we've got going at that point.

So...it is my experience that when I talk to an SP, and we get playful, and laughing and at some point it comes to a sweet compliment or a profound realization, a feeling of closeness, they pause. They either say it and pause, or pause and let it hang in the air. To then abruptly change the topic. At that particular time I can almost feel their eyes burning on me, even though I'm miles away and on the internet :D

Chalk it up to overactive Ne :alttongue:
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
See, I love it when the Intuitives admit that they just make stuff up to suit their own imaginations. If only my ex-wife was as mature as you. :D
 
Top