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[MBTI General] Isfp and infj dynamic

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Hi to all isfp's. Im an infj. My experiences with isfp's has always been that they feel intimidated by me, can be very mean to me but need me for their insecurities so will be nice to me when they need me. I dont know why its like this. Can anybody shed some light on this? I want to understand it
 

man

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I dunno!!! I don't think I could spot an infj if I knew one
 

Sunny Ghost

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one of my besties is an INFJ. maybe you're just dealing with a particularly insecure ISFP?
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
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Hi to all isfp's. Im an infj. My experiences with isfp's has always been that they feel intimidated by me, can be very mean to me but need me for their insecurities so will be nice to me when they need me. I dont know why its like this. Can anybody shed some light on this? I want to understand it

Could you give examples of "very mean" ? I have been badly hurt by ISFPs myself, even if they are supposed to be the kindest type. But they didn't mean to hurt me. Lots of misunderstanding, flakiness on their part, unreasonable expectations on my part? etc. In the end, it was difficult to say who was to blame.
It's interesting, tell us more.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
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ESFP
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9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
one of my besties is an INFJ. maybe you're just dealing with a particularly insecure ISFP?

same. I tend to get along generally well with INJs in general; this just sounds like an issue between you two.
 

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Reply

Thank you all for responding. Yes you are right she is an insecure isfp, enneagram 9. When i say that she can be "very mean" i mean as follows:
she will observe me and comment on how im doing and will say "you are doing this for attention" or "you have issues" or "you're looking for problems" etc
She sees things that is false and states them
 

Walking Tourist

it's tea time!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
1,452
MBTI Type
esfp
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7
She needs to work on being more tactful and not blurting out the first thing that comes into her head, especially if it's rude.
I don't think that's a really common problem for isfps.

Thank you all for responding. Yes you are right she is an insecure isfp, enneagram 9. When i say that she can be "very mean" i mean as follows:
she will observe me and comment on how im doing and will say "you are doing this for attention" or "you have issues" or "you're looking for problems" etc
She sees things that is false and states them
 

Sunny Ghost

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yeah... i can be sharp with my tongue, but i pick and choose my battles. and only ever with people i'm really really really close to. and only if i feel like it's something that needs to be said for their own benefit.

if your friend is an ISFP, she's an incredibly hurt, jealous and insecure one... which you shouldn't base the rest of us ISFP's upon. or she may actually be of another type.

i have one incredibly close INFJ friend, and another friend that is also an INFJ. i like them both for their ability to empathize and their ability to express ideas and feelings so fluidly and creatively. i think most ISFP's and INFJ's would get along quite well.
 

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I appreciate and value the isfp type and for this reason i have posted the original thread, ie: im taking the time and interest to understand what may be going on, as opposed to just ignoring it or responding negatively to her. I guess its clear that i need to be open with her and let her know what i think of her atitude sometimes
 

BlackCat

Shaman
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MBTI Type
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9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Thank you all for responding. Yes you are right she is an insecure isfp, enneagram 9. When i say that she can be "very mean" i mean as follows:
she will observe me and comment on how im doing and will say "you are doing this for attention" or "you have issues" or "you're looking for problems" etc
She sees things that is false and states them

9w8? Might be her 8 wing acting out of control. Mine does that when I'm under stress.
 

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So am i being reasonable in thinking that she is possibly threatened by me. And if so then what could i do to feel better about this?
 

Sunny Ghost

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^just display to her that you are not someone she should feel threatened by. if it's because of appearances, complement are more often and maybe even share your own insecurities. if it's because you display some quality she wishes she had, then engage her in a conversation where she might feel open to share some of her wishes or desires.

one of the things i love about my INFJ friends is their gift to put me at ease and make me feel more confident in the qualities that i do have. it may take some time, but don't give up. you have what it takes to help her be less insecure.
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
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1w2
In my experience, creativity is the thing that has always connected me to ISFPs. Introverted intuition plays a big role in the act of composition. ISFPs and INFJs both use it and can be very artistic types. I have often found myself teamed up with ISFPs on artistic projects. The thing that gets on my nerves though is how flaky they can be, not following through with their word, ideas or a common plan because they are so changeful. Even when the initial idea was theirs.
I end up getting tired of investing my heart and time only to be disappointed or let down in the end.

But I believe ISFPs have a totally different way of seeing this, and for them, it's all about flexibility and living in the here and now.

Perhaps the intimidation issue may have something to do with how easy Introverted intuition comes to you, while it is such a mysterious part of her. She may admire that. Or are you judgmental with her sometimes? That certainly does intimidate her if you are. They hate that.
 

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Thanks a lot i will try what you have advised when i get back to work, after my little holiday. And thanks for the reassurance about me being able to help things - my confidence in myself has been down lately. But i believe its only a typical infj phase.
 

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i just read the post by klessard. You have given me what to think about. Ta!
 
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