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[ESFP] ESFPs and Compulsive Social Lying

Nonsensical

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I'm just making an observation so please don't take offense or feel like I am pointing fingers.

It seems to be kind of a trend I've picked up on in the social atmosphere of human interaction. Compulsive lying to try to gain praise and appreciation from peers, or to suit/establish one's reputation. I've seen it especially in ESFPs.

And after I realized what was going on, saw this whole thing being played out right in front of my nose, I was kind of put in a really awkward position. A position where I know they're lying but wouldn't have it in the life of me to call them out. Lies are annoying and make me lose trust, but I wouldn't want to ruin the goodness of a friendship in calling someone out and making them feel like a fool.
 

2XtremeENFP

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I feel EXACTLY the way you do too about ESFPs who have these qualities.
 

King sns

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I'm just making an observation so please don't take offense or feel like I am pointing fingers.

It seems to be kind of a trend I've picked up on in the social atmosphere of human interaction. Compulsive lying to try to gain praise and appreciation from peers, or to suit/establish one's reputation. I've seen it especially in ESFPs.

And after I realized what was going on, saw this whole thing being played out right in front of my nose, I was kind of put in a really awkward position. A position where I know they're lying but wouldn't have it in the life of me to call them out. Lies are annoying and make me lose trust, but I wouldn't want to ruin the goodness of a friendship in calling someone out and making them feel like a fool.

If there is anyone who wants praise and appreciation from peers, it's the ESFP.
 

Ming

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That's true, I agree with you. (See the irony in there? :cheese:)
 

foolish heart

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I'm just making an observation so please don't take offense or feel like I am pointing fingers.

It seems to be kind of a trend I've picked up on in the social atmosphere of human interaction. Compulsive lying to try to gain praise and appreciation from peers, or to suit/establish one's reputation. I've seen it especially in ESFPs.

And after I realized what was going on, saw this whole thing being played out right in front of my nose, I was kind of put in a really awkward position. A position where I know they're lying but wouldn't have it in the life of me to call them out. Lies are annoying and make me lose trust, but I wouldn't want to ruin the goodness of a friendship in calling someone out and making them feel like a fool.

Hate to break it to you but I've never met someone who hasn't lied, including myself. There are even tiny factual discrepancies with professional acting performances. It doesn't bother me personally, because the truth never changes regardless. I think people lie and deceive for fear of the truth, and the way that is resolved is personal conviction between each person and God. In my experience, it is for our own good to live with honesty so that pain caused by wrongdoing is not hidden away. It sure makes life simpler too.
 

BlackCat

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Most ESFPs are enneagram 3's, and this is basically how you identify them. (Trying to look good to their peers, so the unhealthy ones would lie)
 

mcmartinez84

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I know one ESFP and I can't stand her. She's manipulative and creates drama with every breath she takes. She and I were friends thru a mutual friend but I'm not friends with either of them anymore. And I'm never going to be friends with her again. She's just a ridiculous person and idk why anyone would want to be around her for the long haul. In the short term, I guess she's fun to be around, but holy crap. Don't get involved with her at all.

Idk any other ESFPs, so she's all I have as a reference point. I'm sure there are good, healthy ones that aren't retarded and make me hate people. She, however, is a waste of natural resources, most importantly oxygen and food that could go to starving kids in the 3rd world.

I won't tell you how I really feel. My language would get me banned. :)
 

Totenkindly

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I'm hesitant to say something wholesale about the type, but I do see trends, even among my kids. This is sort of a big issue we've had with our ESFP kid -- the need for drama, the need to be liked, the desire to get what he wants and/or feed his need, the desire to avoid negative experiences... well, because of that, he tends to bend the truth a lot, and I'm surprised sometimes the truth does not break. At this worst times, he can rival Bill Clinton's legendary Truthbender nature.

Fortunately, the older he gets, the more mature he gets; but he seems to have had more trouble with this than our other two kids who seem to be more willing to acknowledge reality and more easily think about the impact of their words and actions on others and "owning up."
 

Nonsensical

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Hate to break it to you but I've never met someone who hasn't lied, including myself. There are even tiny factual discrepancies with professional acting performances. It doesn't bother me personally, because the truth never changes regardless. I think people lie and deceive for fear of the truth, and the way that is resolved is personal conviction between each person and God. In my experience, it is for our own good to live with honesty so that pain caused by wrongdoing is not hidden away. It sure makes life simpler too.
I agree totally. But what I'm bringing up is how when they are obviously lying. And they do it so frequently you really don't know what's true and what's not true. There's a fine line between casually lying once and a while like most people do, and deliberately making up stories and events for social acclaim and reputation.

Most ESFPs are enneagram 3's, and this is basically how you identify them. (Trying to look good to their peers, so the unhealthy ones would lie)
Totally agree, I really hadn't dragged enneagram into the light but briefing over the type description really fits.
...lying about what?
For example, the person I have in mind is a real funny man. He'll make up hilarious stories that make you laugh and people think he's hilarious. He is though, and I love him, but what I'm remarking at is that the longer I hear them, and put a few pieces together in my head, the more I come to believe that it's all an act..not real. And it makes sense.
 

justadbag

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hmm interesting...

well folks...I just so happen...to have never even lied once.

yeah.

how's that for a rebuttal?:cheese:
 

justadbag

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oh and by the way...esfps like fucking with people...because it's fun.

a lot of my ESFP brethren are the most sarcastic to-an-insane-degree people I know of.

it's a lot of fun to see how much you can mess with your own image and other people's perceptions of you.

I mean come on, haven't you tried that? it's fun to act.

and it's fun to see other people take something seriously, whilst you're laughing with yourself...



now of course, I admit, the esfps that do the compulsive lying and making up stories thing....that's a lil over the top.

they're probably extremely depressed.
when ESFPs get extremely depressed, they start to HATE people. and they will view most people as inanimate objects to move around, or manipulate.

so come on, give them a break....they're on their way to drug addiction and possible slow/quick suicide.


a good amount of us ESFPs come built with ADD, BiPolar sickness, Borderline Personality Disorder...OCD.....just to name a few.
 

KDude

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i think i know only one (but maybe 2) bonafied ESFPs and neither are liars IME.. drama queens maybe, but that's it.

[edit] FWIW as some of you may know, even i mistook myself for esfp once.. but umm... no, i don't lie. i withhold the truth a lot though.
 

justadbag

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but on the bright side, if we are more fortunate and are emotionally healthy + socially quenched/validated, we are wonderfully caring, and fun loving people to be around.

life becomes a friggin getaway-island-beach-resort with free endless champagne for everyone
 

justadbag

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i think i know only one (but maybe 2) bonafied ESFPs and neither are liars IME.. drama queens maybe, but that's it.

thanks brosefina. and I myself actively try hard to brutally honest with everyone, especially the people closest to me, since I hate liars, and have been cheated and lied to in the past.


oh and yes, I completely agree that we are huge drama queens.

but I prefer drama-aficionados.

because what is life....without drama.

it's fucking Pleasantville.

and that movie sucked hard balls.

well, actually I kinda like Toby McGuire...I think he might be an INTP
 

KDude

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but on the bright side, if we are more fortunate and are emotionally healthy + socially quenched/validated, we are wonderfully caring, and fun loving people to be around.

life becomes a friggin getaway-island-beach-resort with free endless champagne for everyone



yeah, i can believe that. the girl i know could use it.. she's very cool when things are going right
 

Nonsensical

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haha some interesting posts, guys :p

I totally agree with the drama thing. And, justadouchbag, I like where you're coming from. But in your first post on this page where you were talking about messing with people, and though you are right, I think it's a little off of the point I'm trying to bring up.

I'm talking about ESFPs trying to entertain people; build an image for themselves; get people to like them by making up crazy stories and lies that have happened to them.

I kind of realize this is all a reflection or an attempt to exaggerate their character. Which is cool. I mean, I don't have a problem with the whole thing, and it can be funny, but it's just kinda like..since I know a lot of what you say is fake, I'm not going to show you a ton of respect and I'm not going to buy it. You know what I'm saying?
 

King sns

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haha some interesting posts, guys :p

I totally agree with the drama thing. And, justadouchbag, I like where you're coming from. But in your first post on this page where you were talking about messing with people, and though you are right, I think it's a little off of the point I'm trying to bring up.

I'm talking about ESFPs trying to entertain people; build an image for themselves; get people to like them by making up crazy stories and lies that have happened to them.

I kind of realize this is all a reflection or an attempt to exaggerate their character. Which is cool. I mean, I don't have a problem with the whole thing, and it can be funny, but it's just kinda like..since I know a lot of what you say is fake, I'm not going to show you a ton of respect and I'm not going to buy it. You know what I'm saying?

Yes, I can totally see what you're saying. I've seen a lot of bad ESFP's go to lengths of lying to make themselves look better. I'm healthy and I exaggerate stories sometimes by accident just to make them funnier, and more entertaining. (Not lying, just very exaggerated.) I can see where some would go further and become liars.
 

KDude

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when i was younger, i might have exaggerated? that, or i let some rep precede me and not correct it :laugh:

i figure anyone is capable of making up shit though. the biggest liar i know might just be estp (some kind of extroverted thinker at least).. he took it to a disturbing lvl, and no one talks to him anymore.
 

bcvcdc

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I kind of realize this is all a reflection or an attempt to exaggerate their character. Which is cool. I mean, I don't have a problem with the whole thing, and it can be funny, but it's just kinda like..since I know a lot of what you say is fake, I'm not going to show you a ton of respect and I'm not going to buy it. You know what I'm saying?

yeah, it can be funny, sometimes, if the person on the receiving end of the "joke" knows it's just a stupid exaggeration of somebody's character. The worst thing, however, is when these fakes tell stupid lies to people they know are taking what they say seriously! Fine, if you guys that do this want to have a bit of fun with acquaintances or people you just met at the bookstore or somewhere, (although even this is way beyond idiocy imo) but when you do it to actual "friends"? No, totally un-fucking-forgivable. And as far as showing a little respect to someone who does this? You might as well just forget it, and i mean totally. You're just a jerk when you do this to good friends. Kinda like douchebag here:

and it's fun to see other people take something seriously, whilst you're laughing with yourself...
 
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