[ISTP] istp timetable.

[Rachelinpa]

i know, i know. it's probably been asked before, but i'm asking in a new way!

here's the thing... my istp is always like 10 steps behind me in expression of feeling and wanting to take the "next step in our relationship"... i guess i'm just curious as to how long it takes you guys to catch up.

for example, he offhandedly mentions stuff like "well, my brother was dating this girl and she wanted him to move in after six months!!!" now, i realize that would be a bit soon, but i was not as incredulous as he was over this.

and, stuff like, "yeah, you knew me pretty quick... it took me a little longer (three months) to figure you out."

and, "you really think you should know whether or not you are going to marry someone after dating them a year?"

and (after buying a new hat), "see... i waited and now i have the perfect hat!" (SIX MONTHS we had been looking for a replacement for his 'dirty hat'... ridiculous)

this slow pace does not mesh well with my impatience. why does it exist? what is the purpose? how can istps not know? do you not think about the future unless it is absolutely necessary? so here and now!

 

[sLiPpY]

It takes at least a year for the cement to crack.

We need that much time to figure out whether we're hooking up with Medusa or not.

 

[Randomnity]

I moved in with my current bf after 6 months, lol (though it was in a roommate-house, so more casual than having our own apartment). And it was a good decision for us, though it most likely would be a bad idea in most situations.

I think 1 year is way too soon to think about marrying though, assuming you're of the mindset that marriage should last a long time. 1 year is still in the "happy happy joy joy" phase.

Thinking about the future is one thing, but there's no need to rush into decisions based on theoretical analysis, when the reality is often very different.

edit: can't say there's a general timetable, certainly everyone will be different, and even for me, I would move much more quickly in some situations or with some people than others.

 

[Rachelinpa]

hmm, so when it comes to marriage and all that i guess i should just wait for him to bring it up? i am just curious as to where he stands, but i know you istps are SO sensitive to pressure and any sign of being controlled. i don't want it to come across that way and i fear that it would. i think we'd totally be at a different place if it wasn't for his ex, but nothing i can do about the timing.

 

[sLiPpY]

one of my buddies had been dating/living with his girlfriend for two years.

After the two year mark, had the best time giving him shit about not having proposed yet. I'd often bring the subject up for fun in front of a group of women.

i.e. "It's been over two years now, you got to pay to play!" "Get off the pot or piss!"

About six months later, the ISTP dude walks into work...turns white as a sheet. Shruggs his shoulders and mumbles "Ok, I did it."

"You did what?"

"I proposed dammit!"

Well, what'd she say?

"She said yes!"

So I took off down the isle at work, dragging my left leg behind me. "Do you know what this is?"

Dude responds, "No"

"Ball and chain!"

"You better start practicing up now that you're engaged."

The women at work were laughing so hard, I swear one of them pee'd their pants.

 

[countrygirl]

My ISTP husband proposed to me after 3 months. We were married within a year. However, we were both in our 30s.

 

[seamaid]

one of my buddies had been dating/living with his girlfriend for two years.

After the two year mark, had the best time giving him shit about not having proposed yet. I'd often bring the subject up for fun in front of a group of women.

i.e. "It's been over two years now, you got to pay to play!" "Get off the pot or piss!"

About six months later, the ISTP dude walks into work...turns white as a sheet. Shruggs his shoulders and mumbles "Ok, I did it."

"You did what?"

"I proposed dammit!"

Well, what'd she say?

"She said yes!"

So I took off down the isle at work, dragging my left leg behind me. "Do you know what this is?"

Dude responds, "No"

"Ball and chain!"

"You better start practicing up now that you're engaged."

The women at work were laughing so hard, I swear one of them pee'd their pants.

 

[Rachelinpa]

my istp's best friend is also an istp...

my istp and istp-best friend went out one night and got completely wasted. istp-best friend calls his esfj and says, "the only reason i am marrying you is because you FORCED ME!"

she was hurt. not to mention pissed.

they are getting married in august.

 

[Randomnity]

talking about marriage in general "someday" terms is probably a good idea, if you're definitely not hinting. it's good to know if someone is adamantly opposed to marriage, or kids, if you have your heart set on them...also good to know if they don't want to get married for years and years.

in specific terms, is probably not a great idea. I mean, unless it's been years and years (>5) and you're getting older, and marriage is really important to you, is it really necessary to try to push him into it? I mean, wouldn't you feel better about it if he actively wanted to be married? he would probably resent it a little even if he agreed.

I can't speak for all istps, but I'm not too worried about rushing to the "next step" when the "current step" is awesome already. especially since you can't go back down a step.

 

[sLiPpY]

Here's another of my favorite stories...

Different ISTP friend. He and his fiance take me out to dinner.

Dinners over, the lobby of the resturant is full of people waiting. Restrooms are on the way out. I pause at the table to leave a tip, while they take off for the restrooms.

As I approach the lobby I notice my friend standing outside of the ladies room, holding a purse. From about fifteen feet away I start talking loudly while walking toward him.

"Hey, (Name)!, what are you doing dude?" *sing song tone*

"What's that you're holding?!?" His face starts to turn a bright flush pink, looks side to side as if searching for a way to hide. "Could it be a purse? You're holding her purse dude!" "That's so cute...it's got to be love!"

His fiance could hear me from inside the ladies room. Timing couldn't have been more perfect. Just a second later, she exited the restroom...to find her future husband flush pink and encircled by a group of strangers applauding.

 

[Rachelinpa]

hmm... my istp would never actively embarrass someone like that. he would be the person standing in the corner laughing at the dude who was embarrassed though! hahaha.

 

[Rachelinpa]

are istps purse holders? maybe if their SOs are esfjs ... hm.

 

[sLiPpY]

hmm... my istp would never actively embarrass someone like that. he would be the person standing in the corner laughing at the dude who was embarrassed though! hahaha.

That's a quality that developed with life experience. Quick wit, and the love of sharing a good story. On the way back from the table I was worried about having a humorous story to share, with the wedding party...after the rehearsal dinner.

Just kind of solved itself, "auto-magically" Spotted the purse, and played the scenario.

Yup, an ESFJ...

 

[seamaid]

Speaking of turning ISTPs red with embarrassment, when I was introduced to his male coworkers/buddies for the first time and they asked me how we met, I stammered for a bit, because I didn't know if it was cool to say how we *really* met (online), and then when they egged me on, I said we met in a figure drawing class when he was moonlighting as a nude model. And then I whipped out my sketchbook and showed them a bare-chested drawing of my ISTP. My ISTP is dark-skinned but I think I saw him flush for a second, that second during which his friends almost believed me! LOL

(They're all computer programming geeks, so there's no chance in hell any of them would ever model - let alone nude, good looking or not.)

 

[Rachelinpa]

haha, too funny! i do kind of enjoy the way they get flustered and quiet around strangers. on rare occasion that it happens to me when around new people, my istp LOVES it. mostly cause it never happens... and also makes him feel like he's not the only one, i suppose. happy to oblige. i tell him CLEARLY, i am the introverted one in the relationship. ha.

 

[sLiPpY]

Speaking of turning ISTPs red with embarrassment, when I was introduced to his male coworkers/buddies for the first time and they asked me how we met, I stammered for a bit, because I didn't know if it was cool to say how we *really* met (online), and then when they egged me on, I said we met in a figure drawing class when he was moonlighting as a nude model. And then I whipped out my sketchbook and showed them a bare-chested drawing of my ISTP. My ISTP is dark-skinned but I think I saw him flush for a second, that second during which his friends almost believed me! LOL

(They're all computer programming geeks, so there's no chance in hell any of them would ever model - let alone nude, good looking or not.)

That's a good story!

I out grew my blushing stage pretty early. And darn it, I hated it when my friends did...

 

[Rebe]

are istps purse holders? maybe if their SOs are esfjs ... hm.

Me: Can you hold my purse for me baby?
ISTP: Only if you *something obscene* later.

ISTPs are such dirty jokers.