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  1. #31
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    Aug 2009


    i don't suffer from indecision, only apathy
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”

  2. #32
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    Jan 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by toast View Post
    Huh? No way. I'm talking about him, in a perfectly good mood, trying to come up with things we can do together or things he can do on his own that he wants suggestions for.
    toast, I have to agree with countrygirl too. The example you gave was pretty much the example given to illustrate passive aggression on a website I was reading. :-/

    The eminent researcher Dr. Theodore Millon describes passive-aggressive personalities as having an “active-ambivalent” pattern of relating to others. That is, they are very ambivalent about whether to adhere primarily to a staunchly independent mode of conduct or to rely primarily on others to tend to their emotional needs. As a result, they engage in a continuous pattern of vacillation between the two extremes. Ask them where they want to go for dinner and they will tell you to decide. Pick a place and they will complain that they don’t really like it that well and don’t want to go there. Invite them to pick a place of their own liking and they will complain that they asked you to decide. Tell them of another preference and they will be lukewarm to your suggestion.
    Beware the Covert-Aggressive Personality

    It's not related to type though, nor is a huge issue unless he does this with EVERYTHING you do together. Most people have a bit of PA in them, it's just whether it's manageable or whether it's preventing you from having a good life together.

  3. #33
    Senior Member
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    Oct 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    it's not indecision! it's just there are too many options and each is as acceptable as the next...


  4. #34
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Jan 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by countrygirl View Post
    The way toast explains it, as I understand it, she chooses because he doesn't want to, then he complains about it after the fact. He is making her responsible for his happiness.

    The way MDP2525 explains it, as I understand it, the other person makes a choice and she is having fun regardless of what has been choosen. She is being responsible for her own happiness.

    Big difference.
    Aha. True. Ok, point taken.

    But I'll quote myself to reiterate:
    ... i guess the moral of this thread is "occasionally suggest things to do and if you don't/won't then don't complain about it."
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

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