[ISTP] help with ISTP guy

[Windigo]

Thank you for explaining. I agree that most ISTPs are decent guys. The ones I know certainly are (and I'm sure this applies to women ISTPs as well!).

It seems like being P's instead of J's can lead to trouble in relationships for ISTPs because they are so open-minded about people. One example of this is Slippy going out with a stripper who was trying to do something improper under the table when they were in a public place. Other types of men would never have dated a stripper in the first place!

That's funny, my ISTP also dated a stripper before his first wife.

I don't mean any disrespect perfectgirl.

 

[sLiPpY]

oh, chit! I dated a stripper!

But I swear I did not know she was a stripper! I met her in a bookstore!

When I asked her what she did for a living she told me that she was in, "Customer Service."

 

[Intricate Mystic]

oh, chit! I dated a stripper!

But I swear I did not know she was a stripper! I met her in a bookstore!

When I asked her what she did for a living she told me that she was in, "Customer Service."

Surely there must have been signs along the way that she was the sort of woman who would climb under the table in a public place, though.

 

[mcmartinez84]

Surely there must have been signs along the way that she was the sort of woman who would climb under the table in a public place, though.

lol, if he's like me, he prolly didn't pick up on the signs

 

[sLiPpY]

yes, I can be a bit oblivious and miss certain things that are more obvious to others...

 

[swordpath]

Oh shit, we're making out. Dammit, why are you here backpacking with me again? Ffuuucckkk!!!!! -- I think I like her??

Good thread. Backed hard.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

lol, if he's like me, he prolly didn't pick up on the signs

yes, I can be a bit oblivious and miss certain things that are more obvious to others...

Well, bless your hearts, I guess that's just the way you are. It's kinda cute.

 

[Windigo]

Well, bless your hearts, I guess that's just the way you are. It's kinda cute.

My ISTP is COMPLETELY oblivious to those sort of things. When I first met him he was THE eligible single dad that EVERY single mom was after . . . and he didn't have a CLUE! He was just nice to everybody. I still tease him about it.

Oh shit, we're making out. Dammit, why are you here backpacking with me again? Ffuuucckkk!!!!! -- I think I like her??

Good thread. Backed hard.

:yim_rolling_on_the_

s....s....s....top! Hahahahahahaha!

 

[sLiPpY]

My ISTP is COMPLETELY oblivious to those sort of things. When I first met him he was THE eligible single dad that EVERY single mom was after . . . and he didn't have a CLUE! He was just nice to everybody. I still tease him about it.

hmm...my sister said a similar thing about when we were growing up. "Your uncle is all the girls ever wanted or would talk about."

If that were true, it was completely news to me.

 

[Riva]

hahahaha. I like your sense of humor

Even if she's not an ENFJ, I'd advise you to try your best to be consistent in your intentions, and making that clear at all times. You can't help it if she misreads your signals and falls head over heels for you, but at least you can avoid that by not doing anything suggestive before you make up your mind. THAT INCLUDES ANYTHING PHYSICAL (even body touches).

Agree. Try not to break a heart just so that you could feed your penis.

 

[countrygirl]

My ISTP is COMPLETELY oblivious to those sort of things. When I first met him he was THE eligible single dad that EVERY single mom was after . . . and he didn't have a CLUE! He was just nice to everybody. I still tease him about it.

Interesting! My husband was also a magnet for single moms but he was very aware of this and was careful about getting involved since it also affected the child.

 

[foolish heart]

a metaphor for ISTP love, translated from T to F for your convenience.

still waters run deep, but people only see the debris that is floating at the top, whether it is a dirty attitude blown in from nearby people or trashy thoughts someone decided to drop in on their way by. from underneath the surface, i look up at what the water looks like at the top and I feel sad. nobody is going to want to swim in that.

occasionally, someone will notice life below the surface and take a plunge. once they're past the debris, they start to see how things really are and swim downwards. often times this is hard for them and I have to swim up instead and for a brief moment in time, we see each other eye to eye, and my love thrives in the only place it can, an underwater sanctuary. but without fail, they all eventually run out of breath or get tired of a relationship only halfway down... i dont have the heart or the words to explain that this is their own shortcoming. they won't stay long, so it's best for their peace of mind if they can blame something else for why it didnt work.

many times, I venture out of the water and run freely above the surface, but i dont understand why people are the way they are, and i cant help but remember all of the crap floating on top of the water and feel sad. as much as id like to stay, it's not for me. the depths from whence i came, i then return again. back to a kind of loneliness few would understand, intensely quiet and peaceful, but full of life, much like the ocean floor, to wait for the day the right one dives in, dirty scuba gear and all. until then, plenty of fish in the sea to keep me company.

 

[miss fortune]

I'm starting to think that the ISTP men of the board should just start a Users Guide to the ISTP Male thread for everyone who wants to question the evils and irresponsibility of ISTP males

 

[mcmartinez84]

I'm starting to think that the ISTP men of the board should just start a Users Guide to the ISTP Male thread for everyone who wants to question the evils and irresponsibility of ISTP males

Why ISN'T there a User's Guide already?!

 

[miss fortune]

I guess because they're istPs... they should at least hire someone to make their thread to end this amazing proliferation of threads complaining about ISTPs in relationships!

 

[Rainne]

Why ISN'T there a User's Guide already?!

You see, that takes effort, and we don't feel like it.

 

[toast]

For me, it was love at first sight, and then two months later, I lost my virginity to him

He was aloof, confident, ridiculously smart, and unique, strange, odd, a man who had depth and layers of complexity.

He also was/is a misogynist, an atheist, an uber-rational, and kinda reminded me a lot of me father, whom I had a horrible relationship with. :/

Ummm, admittedly, when he and I was dealing with a lot of issues, I was amidst a thick existential depression,I was all heart, had a bleeding heart, a soul, a fire, a rage, a passion, he helped me temper my emotions, but then he also stifled, resented, and invalidated them. :/

But he becomes hostile whenever I express some sort of dissatisfaction with our relationship, very hostile, very very hostile and hurtful, and during these times, I find myself feeling sorry for him while simultaneously hating him and pitying him. :/

Sounds familiar. Except the thick depression didn't come until after I tried to get too close. But the freaking out when I address 'the relationship' persists. He gets extremely angry & defensive. He doesn't see the point of addressing 'us' as a couple, so he seems to think that kind of talk is just a smokescreen to criticize him. Usually I see the relationship as some separate entity we both create & manage so its fair game to call it stinky. He doesnt really seem to have that outlook. He just sees me & him, the give & take, and the 'feeling' of it at any moment. Criticism is redundant. I'm either being critical of him as a person (which makes me hypocritical, because I have flaws too), or I'm just whining about something that's happened, knowing fully that he can't change the past (so I'm just trying to punish him). He isn't one for bringing up issues of the past for the sake of contingency.

Seeing it all from his point of view doesn't help much when I'm taking what I'm saying very seriously while he's raging & wishing I'd just shutup. I think hes working on it though, because sometimes he asks me to pause what I'm saying or use less words/details while hes obviously bottling some frustration. We also have 'time outs' a lot now when we get into a heated discussion (we just diverge, then come back). These seem to help him.

 

[Windigo]

hmm...my sister said a similar thing about when we were growing up. "Your uncle is all the girls ever wanted or would talk about."

If that were true, it was completely news to me.

Wouldn't it have been nice to know at some point?

Interesting! My husband was also a magnet for single moms but he was very aware of this and was careful about getting involved since it also affected the child.

That was VERY responsible! That's how ISTPs mature!

a metaphor for ISTP love, translated from T to F for your convenience.

still waters run deep, but people only see the debris that is floating at the top, whether it is a dirty attitude blown in from nearby people or trashy thoughts someone decided to drop in on their way by. from underneath the surface, i look up at what the water looks like at the top and I feel sad. nobody is going to want to swim in that.

occasionally, someone will notice life below the surface and take a plunge. once they're past the debris, they start to see how things really are and swim downwards. often times this is hard for them and I have to swim up instead and for a brief moment in time, we see each other eye to eye, and my love thrives in the only place it can, an underwater sanctuary. but without fail, they all eventually run out of breath or get tired of a relationship only halfway down... i dont have the heart or the words to explain that this is their own shortcoming. they won't stay long, so it's best for their peace of mind if they can blame something else for why it didnt work.

many times, I venture out of the water and run freely above the surface, but i dont understand why people are the way they are, and i cant help but remember all of the crap floating on top of the water and feel sad. as much as id like to stay, it's not for me. the depths from whence i came, i then return again. back to a kind of loneliness few would understand, intensely quiet and peaceful, but full of life, much like the ocean floor, to wait for the day the right one dives in, dirty scuba gear and all. until then, plenty of fish in the sea to keep me company.

sigh . . . not many people see this depth to an ISTP soul . . . that's why the chosen few feel so lucky.

I'm starting to think that the ISTP men of the board should just start a Users Guide to the ISTP Male thread for everyone who wants to question the evils and irresponsibility of ISTP males

ISTPs DON'T like paperwork. That's what ENTJs are for.

 

[sLiPpY]

ISTPs DON'T like paperwork. That's what ENTJs are for.

 

[Rebe]

Dear xNTJs,

please write a ISTP User Guide intended primarily for NFs for we are but they make us :steam: and . So that we may stop the and and we can all .