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[ISTP] My ISTP and I...

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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8,243
Lolz. But seriously, you don't think ISTP's are that non-reactive? I could see a joker + audience relationship.



Heh. They're both SPs so at least they can probably find a lot of the same things fun...? Give or take some individual differences, of course. Conversations could go weird though. The ESFPs have a more elaborate conversation style. Might worry an ESFP after awhile if ISTP was mostly quiet. They dont need to know anyone's soul, just like to engage in conversation.. they talk about matter-of-fact/practical stuff just like all SPs.. but if ISTP was quiet a lot, it'd end. ESFP's need to engage and be engaged with people.. not indirectness.
 

countrygirl

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Jan 7, 2009
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well, hate to say it but perhaps he's bored of you

anyhow, i think the ISFP - ISTP relationship works best. Here's a typical day w/ my gf

setting: my apartment

her: 'what are you up to'
me: 'nothing, browsing some stuff'
her: 'ok'

*sounds of keyboard typing and pencil scratching are heard*

me: 'nice drawing'
her: 'thnx, i started yesterday'
her: 'do you like it?'
me: 'yeah it looks great'
her: =)

*a long silence ensues as we resume our respective activities*

an hour passes

me: 'hey are you hungry'
her: 'hmm not really...'
me: 'ok'
her: 'why, are you hungry?'
me: 'yeah'
her: 'but i'm so close to finishing!'
me: 'it's ok i can wait'
her: 'no...if you're really hungry...'
me; it's ok i can wait'
me: 'okay'

15 minutes pass

her: 'done!'
me: 'looks good, let's go'

you cannot ask for a better relationship :hug:

Sometimes for me and my ISTP husband, just being in the same room (doing our own thing) is enough. No conversation is needed.
 

mcmartinez84

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Oct 25, 2007
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650
MBTI Type
ISTP
He always seems to refuse my offer of hanging out when I want to even if I take care to suggest times when I know that he's free, then suggests another time. Why is that? Does he feel like I'm pressuring him or something?

I'm with Rainne. He's probably bored...has no idea what you would do or talk about if you were in the same room by yourselves. He might also just be lazy and not want to get ready to see you and so he postpones.

My 2c.
 

jeejeek

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Mar 24, 2010
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
When we are together we really do have a lot of fun together, just talking, joking around etc. Anyway if I do see him again I'll keep you guys updated, but as it is right now I'm neither hoping or obsessing over him anymore, due in large part I was able to talk about it with you guys! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
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Jun 12, 2008
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sx/so
After reading this thread, ISTP's don't seem very attractive.
 

toast

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Oct 22, 2009
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ENFJ
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2w3
Sounds a bit boring.

I actually have been thinking about that lately. Like, sometimes the ISTPs I know make me feel 'boring'... because if we aren't distracted, or relaxing... there really is no connection, and I can't make it appear. I have no control over it. I'm just a source of comfort or a spark that adds to fun that's already there. It can be really frustrating because it makes the ISTP the same to me. Not boring so much as 'boring's nameless ugly cousin', its as if the life of the relationship is fueled by what happens around us, but not by us ourselves. It is somewhat unsettling, but I'm getting used to it. I look to other people to 'experience', because the ISTP just doesn't want to be felt directly as an experience or experience you as a person directly. It just doesn't work that way.
 

sLiPpY

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:huh: uh, nothing to see here folks...err, move along!

:2ar15:
 

countrygirl

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Jan 7, 2009
Messages
722
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ISFJ
I actually have been thinking about that lately. Like, sometimes the ISTPs I know make me feel 'boring'... because if we aren't distracted, or relaxing... there really is no connection, and I can't make it appear. I have no control over it. I'm just a source of comfort or a spark that adds to fun that's already there. It can be really frustrating because it makes the ISTP the same to me. Not boring so much as 'boring's nameless ugly cousin', its as if the life of the relationship is fueled by what happens around us, but not by us ourselves. It is somewhat unsettling, but I'm getting used to it. I look to other people to 'experience', because the ISTP just doesn't want to be felt directly as an experience or experience you as a person directly. It just doesn't work that way.

That makes sense to me. They don't need deep emotional connections for a relationship hense the 'sidekick' or 'companion' title. Not that they don't feel deep emotional connections, it's not a priority for a relationship. That will come when you do alot of stuff together.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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Oct 4, 2008
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sx/sp
A little off topic but to answer Craft....

One of my favorite people ever is an ESFP. We are partners in crime, so to speak. She's the bouncy, say anything for a laugh, spontaneous one. I just love her company. We both share a common goal of having fun but we go about it with differing degrees of enthusiasm. I'm definitely the "straight man" to her "joker" personality but my deadpan quips play off her zaniness very well. She has an audience in me.

Back on the topic (somewhat) I just have to say not all ISTP's are emotionally retarded but if I thought back 10 years ago to when I was 20?....holy crap. Let's put it this way. I was 26 the first time I realized (light bulb moment) that I should (by social standards) ask someone how they are doing (after they asked me). That's basic stuff right there. We just don't process on that wavelength. You wanna talk about relationships? :rolleyes:

Exactly.

You guys are all young. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves and quit getting hemmed up on these ISTP's. Your brains and hearts shouldn't be working this hard for anyone.
 

sLiPpY

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MDP2525 with the "straight poop!" :D

Reading about some of the things these young ISTP adults do is quite fun. Fun in the self-recognition aspect, like omfg...I did that! :doh:

Do I handle relationships differently today. Yes! Do I feel bad about however I did things back then? Nope...not for one minute. Not now, mid-to late twenties...yes I did occassionally. Then I thought it was silly to beat myself up simply because some young woman got her feelings hurt, expecting or anticipating more from me than I wanted or was ready to give?

I had a damn good time. :D

So my only addition to MDP2525's thought would be. Relax and enjoy the ride. Don't take it too seriously, and keep it "light."
 
A

A window to the soul

Guest
You guys are all young. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves and quit getting hemmed up on these ISTP's. Your brains and hearts shouldn't be working this hard for anyone.

Well said! :yes:

So my only addition to MDP2525's thought would be. Relax and enjoy the ride. Don't take it too seriously, and keep it "light."

More good advice. I agree.
 
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