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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
    Thanks for your answer. It makes sense.

    The funny thing was I wanted to work on things. I didn't want to break up. But if she thought our situation was that hopeless that we needed to break, why should I wait around while she works something out. If it's not going to work out now, how will it later? Makes no sense to me.
    Hmm, I didn't get that impression from your story. Sounded like you suggested to break up, she suggested a temporary break to take some time to think, but you didn't see the point in that, because you had already made up your mind about where things were going or not going.

    You seem to want to make a decision and stick with it. Or, at least you seem to want to be confident that you know where things are headed.

    She's a go-with-the-flow type who likes to see where things go day by day. She may not have been as seriously into the relationship, at that moment in time, as she sensed you were, or wanted to be. Eventually she knew she couldn't or wasn't willing to give you what you needed to be comfortable, so she agreed it would be best to part ways.


    I can't get emotionally involved with someone, decide it's not going to work, and then go back to the way things used to be. Because at that point, things are already not the way they used to be. Or maybe you could between two thinking types. But it's never worked out for me.

    Personally, I'd prefer to have a relationship with someone I was close friends with first. But I'd have to be pretty certain we were compatible before moving on, because I'd hate to spoil a good friendship.

    My relationships are constantly evolving, but I usually have no idea where they're going to end up. Once I develop an emotional closeness to someone, I can't take that back, only hide it to protect myself.

  2. #32
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenity View Post
    Hmm, I didn't get that impression from your story. Sounded like you suggested to break up, she suggested a temporary break to take some time to think, but you didn't see the point in that, because you had already made up your mind about where things were going or not going.

    You seem to want to make a decision and stick with it. Or, at least you seem to want to be confident that you know where things are headed.

    She's a go-with-the-flow type who likes to see where things go day by day. She may not have been as seriously into the relationship, at that moment in time, as she sensed you were, or wanted to be.


    You can't get emotionally involved with someone, decide it's not going to work, and then go back to the way things used to be. Because at that point, things are already not the way they used to be. Or maybe you could between two thinking types.

    Personally, I'd prefer to have a relationship with someone I was close friends with first. But I'd have to be pretty certain we were compatible before moving on, because I'd hate to spoil a good friendship.
    I didn't suggest the breakup. She actually suggested a break a few weeks earlier, and I told her that's not going to help us if we are supposed to be building something together. Then later on when she declared a break, I knew by my reaction to her suggestion that it's best we just call the whole thing off.

    I gues I'm a "mean what I say" person because I'd never suggest we'd go back to being friends if I didn't mean it. Again, this is something she said to me, suggesting that we can go back to a friend zone. I was happy to hear her say that, because I didn't want the breakup to cause her to hate me. I know I don't hate her; in fact I want nothing but the best for her.

    Concerning your last statement; I asked her first to take it to something serious, and she told me no. Months later, she wanted to date me. Since I liked her, I was willing to give it a shot. It didn't work. I think we are great as friends, not as lovers.

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