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[ESFP] ESFP females and men with anxiety

HomerSoprano

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I´ve read a couple of times that ESFP´s dont like anxiety at all. So woul it be a bad idea to tell an ESFP female that I´m nervous around her even though I like her?
 

TickTock

Mud and rain and chaos...
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Bad idea. Focus on the good and forget about being nervous, you won't get over it by drawing attention to it. Try some meditation or something to relax you before you see her or do something to release endorphins.
 

ayoitsStepho

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I don't think it would be bad. If your nervous because you like her, then thats awsome!
I don't think being nervous would chase her away. :)
 

King sns

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I´ve read a couple of times that ESFP´s dont like anxiety at all. So woul it be a bad idea to tell an ESFP female that I´m nervous around her even though I like her?

I don't know, I think that applies to their own anxiety, not other's.
 

TickTock

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The question is, will it do you any good pointing out you get nervous around her? What are you hoping to achieve by telling her that? While she may think it's sweet she will come to the conclusion that you are not hook up material.
 

King sns

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The question is, will it do you any good pointing out you get nervous around her? What are you hoping to achieve by telling her that? While she may think it's sweet she will come to the conclusion that you are not hook up material.

Maybe, but depending on how he's been acting, it might clear up a lot of misconceptions. I know people are confusing when their nervous. Maybe telling her that he's nervous will explain a lot.. It depends on the situation.
 

McRumi

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Too vague a question to give a helpful response.

Why are you nervous? What are you nervous about? What do you expect to achieve by telling her this?
 

ChocolateMoose123

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Confidence is one of the most attractive traits in females and males.

Telling her you're anxious will only make her feel uncomfortable. I take it you would do this to gain her reassurances? Which is understandable. Skip the anxious part and just tell her you like her :)
 

HomerSoprano

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Too vague a question to give a helpful response.

Why are you nervous? What are you nervous about? What do you expect to achieve by telling her this?

I´m nervous because she´s superhot and flirtatious. And she´s communicating in a way that is very direct and that´s something that I´m far from used to. Since I´m an INTP I have a hard time expressing my feelings and telling her that I´m nervous is easier than telling her I like her and in my book not exactly the same thing. And I´m very often nervous around girls so telling her that is one step further to telling her I like her.

And by telling her this my intentions is to make her understand I´m intrested in her and want to get know her a little bit better and that I might come across as too distant if I don´t because she was surprised the first time I flirted with her.
 

Laurie

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Maybe, but depending on how he's been acting, it might clear up a lot of misconceptions. I know people are confusing when their nervous. Maybe telling her that he's nervous will explain a lot.. It depends on the situation.

I agree with this. ESFPs don't like anxiety in themselves, I'm not sure "I'm nervous cause you are so hot" is bad, you aren't giving THEM anxiety.
 

McRumi

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I´m nervous because she´s superhot and flirtatious. And she´s communicating in a way that is very direct and that´s something that I´m far from used to. Since I´m an INTP I have a hard time expressing my feelings and telling her that I´m nervous is easier than telling her I like her and in my book not exactly the same thing. And I´m very often nervous around girls so telling her that is one step further to telling her I like her.

And by telling her this my intentions is to make her understand I´m intrested in her and want to get know her a little bit better and that I might come across as too distant if I don´t because she was surprised the first time I flirted with her.

Then the answer is NO.

N. O.

Telling an ESFP that she makes you anxious/nervous is basically telling them that you'll be an energy drain. Give it time... your anxiety will diminish.

And if it doesn't, then you should look elsewhere. Why? Because your energy source is introverted, and being in a relationship with an extrovert (esp an extreme extrovert like the ESFP) who makes you anxious will lterally drive you crazy.

A little sexual tension is one thing...anxiety is another.
 

defragmybrain

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i'm an ESFP and i've dated a VERY anxious, bipolar INTP.
I'd say that we're opposite ends of the spectrum.
His nervousness and general 'air du mystere' was really attractive to me, and it worked for me. That flatters me that he was nervous.
 

OrangeAppled

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Yeah, I think you could say it in a way that is flirtatious and flattering to her. You could say "you're so pretty you make me nervous", but look her in the eye and give a wry smile with it. That way it doesn't seem needy and insecure.
 

HomerSoprano

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i'm an ESFP and i've dated a VERY anxious, bipolar INTP.
I'd say that we're opposite ends of the spectrum.
His nervousness and general 'air du mystere' was really attractive to me, and it worked for me. That flatters me that he was nervous.


Is there anything else that the INTP flattered you with that only he did? MBTI wise of course. If you´re into socionics, have you read up on the duality between INTP and ESFP?
 

Heinel

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Is there anything else that the INTP flattered you with that only he did? MBTI wise of course. If you´re into socionics, have you read up on the duality between INTP and ESFP?

Do keep in mind that typology is meant to be descriptive. If you let it guides you you'll fail.
 

HomerSoprano

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Just found out she´s a psychopath, used to be suspicious but am now 100% sure. Glad I never had anything more to do with her. And I´m not the type of person who throws these kinds of labels around easily.
 

Damir

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when im nervous around girls i always ask for a kiss, or a hug, to clam me :))))
you should try it hahh
 

Asterion

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Just found out she´s a psychopath, used to be suspicious but am now 100% sure. Glad I never had anything more to do with her. And I´m not the type of person who throws these kinds of labels around easily.

ummm, what? how do you know? are you using the term psychopath loosly or is she really a psychopath? any wonder you were nervous :huh:
 
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