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[ESFP] Are all ESFPs total flakes?

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
Yeah I feel pretty sure that if my brother were to become a father he'd be a good one and it'd be the making of him, but he's convinced he'd be a bad father because he's so fickle and gets bored of things easily, he thinks he'd be into the kids at the start but soon get fed up of them and lose interest like he does in most things. So though he's in his late 30's he still maintains that he doesn't want to ever have kids.

I dunno... I think Ne dominants are just as at risk of flakedom as Se's. I can say with total honesty that if I hadn't accidentally ended up becoming a parent, I'd probably by now be rotting in jail, if I hadn't died of a drug overdose or some accident through my extremely reckless side.
 

Ivy

Strongly Ambivalent
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
23,989
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6
Yeah I feel pretty sure that if my brother were to become a father he'd be a good one and it'd be the making of him, but he's convinced he'd be a bad father because he's so fickle and gets bored of things easily, he thinks he'd be into the kids at the start but soon get fed up of them and lose interest like he does in most things. So though he's in his late 30's he still maintains that he doesn't want to ever have kids.

I dunno... I think Ne dominants are just as at risk of flakedom as Se's. I can say with total honesty that if I hadn't accidentally ended up becoming a parent, I'd probably by now be rotting in jail, if I hadn't died of a drug overdose or some accident through my extremely reckless side.

I was nervous about my brother becoming a dad, to be quite honest with you, for similar reasons. He was the type to get REALLY SUPER INTO something, it's the best thing ever, why aren't you as into it as I am, and then a few months later it's old hat, why are you still into that? But it really did give him a purpose beyond being punk rock.
 

heart

heart on fire
Joined
May 19, 2007
Messages
8,456
I know several ESFPs (including my sister!) and I love them to bits, but they're so unreliable! They are frequently forget to show up to appointments,very rarely return phone calls and hardly ever pay back debts. Of course when I see them they're so damned pleasant that I forget how mad I am at them! This in itself kind of makes me mad!

Is this common ESFP problem or do I just hang out with the flakey ones? and how on earth is a person supposed to handle this?!



When the ESFP person is a sweet and truly loving person, I can forgive anything and I know a couple of them who are like this very well.

But the ones who think they are scheming bad asses who can use their brain and nonexistant wits to play others and who either are cold as ice in conscience or trying to manipulate all the time, those are the ones I have no time for. I know one who does the bald faced evil and thoughtless things and then giggles about it later and tries to use sickly sweet fake emotional stuff to try and smooth it all over. Sorry too late, your ass overloaded your mouth, again.

I quit talking to this person after explaining in a item by item list every thing she'd done, she comes back with "I just don't understand, it wasn't my intention to make you mad." I said, "Oh I am not mad, I am just done with you."
 

"?"

New member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
1,167
MBTI Type
TiSe
I don't disagree that based on descriptions of ESFPs they appear flakey, but again I don't think they corner the market.
 

quietgirl

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2007
Messages
401
MBTI Type
INFJ
Well, I do have an ESFP friend who's a total flake but my ENFP best friend is also a total flake unless you're someone she is extremely close to (like she doesn't really get flaky with me). The hilarious thing is that the two of them cannot seem to get along based on the notion that the other is "too flaky". I sit back and laugh.
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Well, I do have an ESFP friend who's a total flake but my ENFP best friend is also a total flake unless you're someone she is extremely close to (like she doesn't really get flaky with me). The hilarious thing is that the two of them cannot seem to get along based on the notion that the other is "too flaky". I sit back and laugh.

That's quite ironic. Why is it that people can see in others what they can't see in themselves? Is it projection of some kind?
 

TickTock

Mud and rain and chaos...
Joined
Jan 18, 2008
Messages
948
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Very flaky. How do you deal with it without rejecting them? I always have to see them on their terms and I end up getting grumpy about it.
 

SeanMC86

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
23
MBTI Type
ESFP
I'll admit routine is very difficult for me as an ESFP. My SJ parents are like a broken record "you have to get into a routine" and although I do try to establish one it is VERY VERY difficult and almost impossible to maintain. Its not that I don't want to have a routine, it's just that a lot of the time I get caught up in things of the moment and really forget all about the routine. But I will admit I am better at routine than NFs. They are TERRIBLE at staying on course even worse than I am. Especially INFPs. Not saying they are bad for this, they are just so spaced-out they are like dreaming about something and forget ALL of their responsibilites. A lot of the time I don't fulfill a certain responsibility is that I simply forget or rationalize not doing it.
 

cdal233

New member
Joined
Feb 9, 2008
Messages
68
MBTI Type
INTP
The trend with the ESFP's in my life is highly correlated with how they were raised. ESFP's who were trained to value intelligence and responsibility to well in school and life. The ones who grew up in broken homes or didn't have assertive, understanding parents tend to develop insecurities and are more of free spirits.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I learned responsability because an ESFP mother who believed she had none other than to her image.
 
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