[ISTP] making an ISTP happy

[StephMC]

Hm... what makes me happy...

Food, for sure. It sounds like a really simple thing, but goodness... there's nothing like an awesome meal.

I love going on trips. Anywhere from beaches to even just a fun place in my city that I've never been to. Last summer, an ExTP friend of mine was fixing to move out of Austin, and wanted to go do all these different Austiny things... so we did stuff like go to a cave tour about 30 min away or to a really remote blues bar. Stuff like that is fun... it's adventurous and new. Having a fun, light-hearted, adventurous weekend where you live from moment to moment is always a very pleasant, refreshing thing for me. I like to mix things up.

 

[mcmartinez84]

Food, for sure. It sounds like a really simple thing, but goodness... there's nothing like an awesome meal.

I'm not sure some people understand how happy food makes me! I see eating as a huge chore. Don't get me wrong, I like food. But I have to decide what I want, where I wanna get it, if I wanna make it, what I have available, how far is it to get it, who wants to go, how much do I have to clean up, how long will it take...zomg. I hate that part of eating. If someone shows up with pretty much any food that I can put on a plate and eat (or even eat out of the container), I'm thrilled! It saves me this internal issue that usually leads me to putting off eating until I'm starving. Then I settle for cheese and crackers...or something equally simple to "make".

So yeah...food is good, mkay?

 

[Poki]

I'm not sure some people understand how happy food makes me! I see eating as a huge chore. Don't get me wrong, I like food. But I have to decide what I want, where I wanna get it, if I wanna make it, what I have available, how far is it to get it, who wants to go, how much do I have to clean up, how long will it take...zomg. I hate that part of eating. If someone shows up with pretty much any food that I can put on a plate and eat (or even eat out of the container), I'm thrilled! It saves me this internal issue that usually leads me to putting off eating until I'm starving. Then I settle for cheese and crackers...or something equally simple to "make".

So yeah...food is good, mkay?

I dont know if I can put enough to properly express this importance. I am easy when it comes to food.

edit: now that I think about this more, I frequently skip lunch at work because I dont feel like getting up and going to eat. I can convince myself that I ned to get out of the office and go for a ride which ends up with me at a drive through with food being handed to me prepared. mmmm....easy food

 

[ViCyniC]

Yeah, food and trips. Not that I get/do a lot of either, but when it happens, I'm feelin pretty good.

I love riding on airplanes, and especially love takeoff. Again, don't do it so much, but when I do, I'm enjoying it.

 

[entropie]

trips are cool indeed

 

[Poki]

Yeah, food and trips. Not that I get/do a lot of either, but when it happens, I'm feelin pretty good.

I love riding on airplanes, and especially love takeoff. Again, don't do it so much, but when I do, I'm enjoying it.

So to some it up, we are lazy about what we want and have learned to live happily this way, but really appreciate it when others do things that we want.

This post is like deja vu, didnt I post this elsewhere?

Edit: with me though when it comes to what others wants I am not lazy at all.

 

[StephMC]

I'm not sure some people understand how happy food makes me! I see eating as a huge chore. Don't get me wrong, I like food. But I have to decide what I want, where I wanna get it, if I wanna make it, what I have available, how far is it to get it, who wants to go, how much do I have to clean up, how long will it take...zomg. I hate that part of eating. If someone shows up with pretty much any food that I can put on a plate and eat (or even eat out of the container), I'm thrilled! It saves me this internal issue that usually leads me to putting off eating until I'm starving. Then I settle for cheese and crackers...or something equally simple to "make".

So yeah...food is good, mkay?

Hahaha.... Couldn't agree with you more, as shown by this post

 

[mcmartinez84]

Hahaha.... Couldn't agree with you more, as shown by this post

Bahahahahahahahahahaha! I LOVE that post! It's so complex to decide what to eat!

 

[Poki]

Bahahahahahahahahahaha! I LOVE that post! It's so complex to decide what to eat!

I did a diet based on protien, carbs, fat and did a spreadsheet where I can pick and choose foods and it did all the calculations. My next step was for it to list my options, but I got off the diet before it became fully featured.

 

[toast]

You're not going to like this but I'll paraphrase you.

"I think there is a problem, but it's not my problem. It is his problem. He needs to fix it. I don't know why he doesn't do it but whatever it is holding him up he needs to change. ... He didn't change. It's alright I can put it off. ... He didn't change. It's alright I can put if off. ... [loop]"

As far as I can see you're only pushing yourself ever closer to the cliff.

Oh yeah... right on the head. It is more complicated than that though. It is this "cycle" that I get in when I have no immediate solution that I can see available to me. It isn't a permanent state by any means, or I really wouldn't put up with it. Usually I deal with this for a while on one issue and either something changes in the way I feel about it or I have an idea on how I can get out of the loop. Then I may come back to it again & again but it gets better every time until I don't see a problem anymore.

I'm not saying you're view of it is wrong, because it is very potentially destructive and though it isn't the whole picture, it is scary as hell. It is involuntary & does not happen that often. It has happened more in this ISTP relationship than at any other time in my life but it has not been fruitless. I went through this loop over & over on several issues that aren't issues anymore. (Usually because of efforts we both made). Once I discover what I can do to make things better for myself I break out of it. If there ever came a time where I couldn't break out of it or my only option to be okay again was to leave him, I would.

 

[Heinel]

Oh yeah... right on the head. It is more complicated than that though. It is this "cycle" that I get in when I have no immediate solution that I can see available to me. It isn't a permanent state by any means, or I really wouldn't put up with it. Usually I deal with this for a while on one issue and either something changes in the way I feel about it or I have an idea on how I can get out of the loop. Then I may come back to it again & again but it gets better every time until I don't see a problem anymore.

I'm not saying you're view of it is wrong, because it is very potentially destructive and though it isn't the whole picture, it is scary as hell. It is involuntary & does not happen that often. It has happened more in this ISTP relationship than at any other time in my life but it has not been fruitless. I went through this loop over & over on several issues that aren't issues anymore. (Usually because of efforts we both made). Once I discover what I can do to make things better for myself I break out of it. If there ever came a time where I couldn't break out of it or my only option to be okay again was to leave him, I would.

I guess my view can be read as pessimistic. I am the kind that brings a retractable umbrella with me all year round. I have to say, however that you are not in a relationship if you're the only one changing. I could even go as far as to argue that it is by the very definition of relationship that asymmetrical change is unacceptable. If there is a conflict of nature, both sides have to compensate each other, and not on a superficial level. Both sides need to understand exactly what the problem is, and come up with a plan that both sides could agree on. Though I suppose this is ultimately an unattractive proposal to an ENFJ.

 

[hermeticdancer]

What are some things I can do to make my ISTP happy? He's been giving a lot to me lately & going through a lot & I really, really want to brighten his life a little.

I'm going longboarding with him on Sunday... And I know that'll pick him up, but I need some simple things to say or do that will make him feel better until we can risk our necks "bombing hills."

Just be free, go with the flow. You don't have to make everything all better, you are not responsible for his well being, and picking him up emotionally, just try to have fun, and keep it simple and light, and not dwell on the past too much.

If he want's to talk about it, tell him that, " I wan't to know what is going on, talk to me" be straight up honest with him, do not, do not, manipulate.

be honest and straight forward with your feelings and what you think, and just be yourself. And try to have fun, if you don't like snowboarding, then tell him, it sucks!
Ha
It's all about expressing true feelings, and being honest INTIMACY.
I would say...
But Im an ENFP, what do I know?

 

[hermeticdancer]

on the other hand,
I kinda am starting to love ENFJ's.
Even though you guys seem to overextend yourself emotionally, to an unhealthy extent. You guys, make stuff happen. You are the best mentors, teachers, social workers and advocates, and types to make stuff happen for people.
I work with lots of ENFj's and I can only admire them, even though, they are so exhausted, probably trying to fix all human relationships, and organize everything, they actually do make an impact.
I just wanted to say that your words I am sure are not lost, people understand you and do care in your life I am sure of it. You seem very articulate and lovely, and deserving and well intentioned. Sometimes the ISTP or the male in general is just a simple creature, grunt grunt.
Food
Sex
Fun
Happy
Trips
Sorry guys! Just being silly...

But I think that you are a complex creature, emotionally.
I don't know have you ever dated an INFP? or ENFP? Talk about the love...

peace out!