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[ISFP] Is the only way to make an ISFP talk 'is' to strangle them?

R

Riva

Guest
I love to talk. 'We Cardassians love to talk'. But when it comes to ISFPs..... Arghhhhh!

Is it just me or is it all of us?

I have an ISFP friend. And every time anyone talks to him he just loses his tongue.

This is an example as to how annoying it is to talk to my ISFP friend.

He - (Enthusiastically) i saw a girl at my bio lecture.
I - yeah is she cute?
He - yes, but.........
I - but what?
He- she is, you know, she is............... she went
I - (PISSED OFF) she WHAT???????
He -i was.... when she got.....
I -(EXTREMELY ANNOYED) you were what????? about to squeeze her butt???
He - Noooooooooooooooooooooo. i went..... then .... the lecturer
I -ohhhh you went to talk to her?
He -YESSSSS!!!
I - but then the lecturer came???
He -yes, yes, yes
I - so you couldn't talk to her?
He -yes.. and she was wearing green and you know, you know.... and ... you
I - (completely lost and infuriated) what the???
He - stares at me and smiles
I -ohhh you were gonna comment about what she was wearing because it was beautiful?.
but when you were going to say hi, the lecturer came so you went and sat?
after the lecture she quickly left, so you couldn't talk to her?
He - happily nods as if he nailed the girl.
3 years later he still hasn't spoken to her.

Gosh I get so annoyed when talking to ISFPs.

Ps: we have been friends for about 5 years.

so yes. the answer to your question is yes.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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It sounds like you keep interrupting him. If someone was annoyed and pressuring me in a conversation I wouldn't talk either. What's would be the point? To help that person not feel annoyed? It would take a saint to care that much.
 
R

Riva

Guest
It sounds like you keep interrupting him. If someone was annoyed and pressuring me in a conversation I wouldn't talk either. What's would be the point? To help that person not feel annoyed? It would take a saint to care that much.

Oh believ me when i say this, i am extremely patient when i talk to him.
I keep about a 10 second gap before talking back.
And mind you a 10 second gap in the middle of any conversation (unless it is a teenage romantic one) is extremely long (long enough).
 

Siúil a Rúin

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Oh believ me when i say this, i am extremely patient when i talk to him.
I keep about a 10 second gap before talking back.
And mind you a 10 second gap in the middle of any conversation (unless it is a teenage romantic one) is extremely long (long enough).
Why do you talk to him? If someone has a particular way of talking, and you have a desire to communicate, then if a 10 second gap is not long enough, wait 20 seconds or 30. You can say 10 seconds is long enough, but that doesn't make it true for him. If your goal is to communicate the only option is to adapt in a realistic way. Maybe he won't ever communicate the way you like. You can't force it.

I do know for people who are extremely introverted and who take a long time to think through and formulate their words, external pressure and distraction will slow down that process, not speed it up.
 
R

Riva

Guest
Why do you talk to him? If someone has a particular way of talking, and you have a desire to communicate, then if a 10 second gap is not long enough, wait 20 seconds or 30. You can say 10 seconds is long enough, but that doesn't make it true for him. If your goal is to communicate the only option is to adapt in a realistic way. Maybe he won't ever communicate the way you like. You can't force it.

I do know for people who are extremely introverted and who take a long time to think through and formulate their words, external pressure and distraction will slow down that process, not speed it up.

okay let me give you another example.

*Me, While driving him home*
I : From where do I turn.
He : *Looks blank and stupid* you just passed it.

^ actually this happened to one of my friends while he was driving. He, I and the ISFP guy was in the car. I just wrote it that way for convenience.
 

ayoitsStepho

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If anything, its possible he just doesnt know how to get his thoughts out onto words. I can have that problem and it irritates me so bad. I feel like I'm an idiot because I simply cant get things from my head to my mouth. Of coarse I'm learning how to express myself in spoken words better and I'm doing much better. But still, I have those moments where my brain freezes and I cannot display what I wanted to.
Its a real pain in the butt.
 
R

Riva

Guest
If anything, its possible he just doesnt know how to get his thoughts out onto words. I can have that problem and it irritates me so bad. I feel like I'm an idiot because I simply cant get things from my head to my mouth. Of coarse I'm learning how to express myself in spoken words better and I'm doing much better. But still, I have those moments where my brain freezes and I cannot display what I wanted to.
Its a real pain in the butt.

You just proved that I was correct. *kicks toonia's posts*;)

I am sorry to hear that. I used to be like that when i was much much younger. I still have it a bit, where my words just stop. Then I use Metaphors and examples. Helps a lot.:)

I am not quite sure this would work for everyone tho.
 

ayoitsStepho

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You just proved that I was correct. *kicks toonia's posts*;)

I am sorry to hear that. I used to be like that when i was much much younger. I still have it a bit, where my words just stop. Then I use Metaphors and examples. Helps a lot.:)

I am not quite sure this would work for everyone tho.

Well I'm not sure if this is just a ME problem, or if it pertains to other ISFPs. I'm alot better at expressing myself through works. Like art, music, writting and dance. Speaking on the other hand...not so good. I guess it doesn't help that whenever I talk at home, everybody ignores me. So I think I've just stopped communicating verbally to people because nobody really listens. And thats a fact, not something I've made up. Like, yesterday I only said one sentence the whole day. "I'd like a steak please." Other than I just don't speak too often.

Metaphors do help at times, but for some bizarre reason the people I know aren't into abstract thinking in that way. Its very, just tell me the facts and leave me be. So you can imagine someone like myself isn't too understood at home in that way.
 
R

Riva

Guest
Metaphors do help at times, but for some bizarre reason the people I know aren't into abstract thinking in that way. Its very, just tell me the facts and leave me be. So you can imagine someone like myself isn't too understood at home in that way.

Use examples, Don't use complicated abstract psycho babble.:D
 

ayoitsStepho

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Use examples, Don't use complicated abstract psycho babble.:D

Lol, if only I was that wise to use that babble xD Maybe when I talk it sends off a single to everyone to shut their ears off. *shrugs* who knows. I am working on it though. So obviously its working some how.
I'm pretty sure confidence plays a key in it. Is your friend very confident at all?
 

ayoitsStepho

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Well then there ya have it! If he's not confident, he wont be confident in what he says so he'll be second guessing himself to the point where he has no idea what he wants to say anymore.

boom bam, i got it ;)
 
R

Riva

Guest
Well then there ya have it! If he's not confident, he wont be confident in what he says so he'll be second guessing himself to the point where he has no idea what he wants to say anymore.

boom bam, i got it ;)

So it is not a ISFP thing?
 

ayoitsStepho

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I don't think so. Being an ISFP may fuel that he's not talking, but I think it has more to do with his lack of confidence.
 

sLiPpY

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oh, look! Potatoe chips!
 

lane777

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Oct 23, 2008
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I love to talk. 'We Cardassians love to talk'. But when it comes to ISFPs..... Arghhhhh!

Is it just me or is it all of us?

I have an ISFP friend. And every time anyone talks to him he just loses his tongue.

This is an example as to how annoying it is to talk to my ISFP friend.

He - (Enthusiastically) i saw a girl at my bio lecture.
I - yeah is she cute?
He - yes, but.........
I - but what?
He- she is, you know, she is............... she went
I - (PISSED OFF) she WHAT???????
He -i was.... when she got.....
I -(EXTREMELY ANNOYED) you were what????? about to squeeze her butt???
He - Noooooooooooooooooooooo. i went..... then .... the lecturer
I -ohhhh you went to talk to her?
He -YESSSSS!!!
I - but then the lecturer came???
He -yes, yes, yes
I - so you couldn't talk to her?
He -yes.. and she was wearing green and you know, you know.... and ... you
I - (completely lost and infuriated) what the???
He - stares at me and smiles
I -ohhh you were gonna comment about what she was wearing because it was beautiful?.
but when you were going to say hi, the lecturer came so you went and sat?
after the lecture she quickly left, so you couldn't talk to her?
He - happily nods as if he nailed the girl.
3 years later he still hasn't spoken to her.

Gosh I get so annoyed when talking to ISFPs.

Ps: we have been friends for about 5 years.

so yes. the answer to your question is yes.

heh :D

This is an introverts most defining characteristic, in my opinion. I love people. But after about 2 hrs of actually passing for an extrovert I lose steam and it becomes very difficult for me to find words. At that point, for some reason I need to withdraw and be alone in my thoughts for a time in order to have the energy to extrovert again. This does not mean I'm sick of you. I simply don't have the energy to converse anymore.
 

sLiPpY

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Where did everybody go?!?

*munches potatoe chip*

:popc1:
 

warm8

New member
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Mar 15, 2009
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I love to talk. 'We Cardassians love to talk'. But when it comes to ISFPs..... Arghhhhh!

Is it just me or is it all of us?

I have an ISFP friend. And every time anyone talks to him he just loses his tongue.

This is an example as to how annoying it is to talk to my ISFP friend.

He - (Enthusiastically) i saw a girl at my bio lecture.
I - yeah is she cute?
He - yes, but.........
I - but what?
He- she is, you know, she is............... she went
I - (PISSED OFF) she WHAT???????
He -i was.... when she got.....
I -(EXTREMELY ANNOYED) you were what????? about to squeeze her butt???
He - Noooooooooooooooooooooo. i went..... then .... the lecturer
I -ohhhh you went to talk to her?
He -YESSSSS!!!
I - but then the lecturer came???
He -yes, yes, yes
I - so you couldn't talk to her?
He -yes.. and she was wearing green and you know, you know.... and ... you
I - (completely lost and infuriated) what the???
He - stares at me and smiles
I -ohhh you were gonna comment about what she was wearing because it was beautiful?.
but when you were going to say hi, the lecturer came so you went and sat?
after the lecture she quickly left, so you couldn't talk to her?
He - happily nods as if he nailed the girl.
3 years later he still hasn't spoken to her.

Gosh I get so annoyed when talking to ISFPs.

Ps: we have been friends for about 5 years.

so yes. the answer to your question is yes.

I promise you if you had spoken more gently / quietly then he would've been able to express himself much easier. sounds stupid, I know, but whenever someone has an angry tone with me my mind just goes COMPLETELY blank and goes into a sort of "oh shit oh shit oh shit he's mad oh fuck make him happy oh fuck god what do I do he looks so mad at me oh shit fuck".

I've gotten people angry over this same thing, but one thing you have to realize is that it's extremely hard to control.


about not giving you good directions for driving, he was probably just daydreaming about cupcakes or something :cheese:
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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This is an ISFP thing. My girlfriend's and ISFP, and in the beginning I used to think she wasn't too bright because our conversations would go just like the OP's.

I read in a personality type that ISFPs aren't the best with words in terms of describing how they feel.

I had a similar situation with my girl last Saturday. We were on our way to a party of one of her girlfriends. Last time this girl gave us directions, they were bad. So we get some bad directions this time! I get to a dead end, and her GFs directions don't indicate which way is next. My girlfriend volunteers- 'You can go left or right'. DUH! How is that helpful? Those are my only 2 options! LOL. As my co-pilot I expect something more than that.

That's just an example of some of my communication experiences with her.

As an ISTJ I do expect very clear, to the point communication, so in the heat of an argument, or even on the phone, I get very irritated in hearing her ramble on.

Don't get it twisted- I love her, it's just a nuance of our growing together. I definitely think this is an ISFP specific thing!
 
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