[ISTP] ISTPs ego issues

[Grayscale]

I think most people would probably vote ENTP as generally having the biggest ego to contend with, but meanwhile nobody notices the ISTP because they have gone off by themselves...

I am only speaking for myself here, but I have a lot of ego issues because of always thinking I know the best way to do things when I don't. However, I notice very few people are not intimidated to the point that they would point out my mistakes even though I want them to. When they do, they often communicate these things in such an enigmatic way that I don't even know they're trying to help me or correct me in the first place. This makes me want to try and read between the lines, but honestly I would just rather they be more upfront because that is a more efficient way to communicate and if I was helping them I would try to make it easy to understand by doing the same.

First off, any advice? Am I just doomed to always have to learn everything the hard way 'cause nobody is going to point me in the right direction?

Secondly, I strongly believe the ISTP aka 'individualist extraordinaire' has ego issues that are very deep-seated, making them hard for us to notice before it's too late. any other ISTPs relate to this? how do you keep yourself in check when nobody else is willing to?

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

I don't know how istp I am, but, If I think I know the right way(most efficient, easiest, etc) to do something its because I really do. The only way to keep your ego in check is to know everything. I would start reading encyclopedias if I were you.

 

[Kingfisher]

i don't know. i have a pretty dominant ego too. and i don't like to foist it on other people. i am privately egotistical, if that makes sense. so i think you're right, i think it can go unnoticed by other people.

i think the best way to break it down is just to become very communicative, to talk through your solutions with other people. to say "i am going to do this, and here is why i think it's the best solution". and ask them questions until you get definite concrete answers. i know that having to explain why you are doing things the way you are is kind of like a slow death, but if you just go ahead and do it without communication that probably reinforces the "i know best" mentality.
so my input would be to say communication is important.

although a part of me does think "damn the torpedoes! if my way isn't the best, then people need to speak up. it's not my fault you won't get involved."

 

[Kingfisher]

I don't know how istp I am, but, If I think I know the right way(most efficient, easiest, etc) to do something its because I really do. The only way to keep your ego in check is to know everything. I would start reading encyclopedias if I were you.

i think maybe he is talking about ego meaning self-esteem and your sense of self-worth and pride. instead of in the freudian sense.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

i don't know. i have a pretty dominant ego too. and i don't like to foist it on other people. i am privately egotistical, if that makes sense. so i think you're right, i think it can go unnoticed by other people.

i think the best way to break it down is just to become very communicative, to talk through your solutions with other people. to say "i am going to do this, and here is why i think it's the best solution". and ask them questions until you get definite concrete answers. i know that having to explain why you are doing things the way you are is kind of like a slow death, but if you just go ahead and do it without communication that probably reinforces the "i know best" mentality.
so my input would be to say communication is important.

although a part of me does think "damn the torpedoes! if my way isn't the best, then people need to speak up. it's not my fault you won't get involved."

Your last paragraph makes complete sense to me. I feel like I may have made a mistake but if they didn't put their two cents in - then I've already done more than they have even if I made a mistake. At least I did something, ya know?

Hmm...I'm wondering what you would say the difference between ego and self-esteem is? I think I have a large but hidden ego. Yet, I struggle a lot with my sense of self-worth. It seems contradictory. Maybe it is. I seem to go to extremes with my confidence. Usually my self-doubt comes in when I start to consider other people's opinions of me. Er...Does this make sense to anyone else?

EDIT: I just re-read the OP. "how do you keep yourself in check when nobody else is going to?"

In those instances where you realize after the fact that you didn't utilize the best way possible - do you take that information and learn from it?

 

[Kingfisher]

Your last paragraph makes complete sense to me. I feel like I may have made a mistake but if they didn't put their two cents in - then I've already done more than they have even if I made a mistake. At least I did something, ya know?

honestly, that is my feeling too.

Hmm...I'm wondering what you would say the difference between ego and self-esteem is? I think I have a large but hidden ego. Yet, I struggle a lot with my sense of self-worth. It seems contradictory. Maybe it is. Does this make sense?

i don't know, how would you describe ego?
i can see how people can believe in themself strongly and doubt themself strongly at the same time. it's a contradiction, but i think people are contradicting themselves all the time. people are messy. i think someone can believe their way is the best way, or belive strongly in one part of themself but still have serious doubts about themself in other areas.

maybe your ego is your idealistic prideful idea/vision of yourself,
and your self-esteem is your concrete every-day sense of yourself?

 

[Heinel]

I don't know how istp I am, but, If I think I know the right way(most efficient, easiest, etc) to do something its because I really do. The only way to keep your ego in check is to know everything. I would start reading encyclopedias if I were you.

+1!

Notice, doing something the best way does not mean doing it flawlessly. People who did not point out your flaw to you probably couldn't see it themselves to begin with. ISTPs tend to be harsh on ourselves, the trick is to find the balance between self-discipline and aptitude.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

maybe your ego is your idealistic prideful idea/vision of yourself,
and your self-esteem is your concrete every-day sense of yourself?

YES!

I could have never explained it like that. So true. Thanks KF!

 

[Poki]

YES!

I could have never explained it like that. So true. Thanks KF!

I agree also.

My ego is self contained and makes it hard to break out of being a humble person.

To the OP: people may try to correct you, you may just become stubborn and insist your way is right then try and figure out why no one does correct you when you initially thought they were wrong.

I have learned how to correct stuborn people by using there own game on them. My dad is a type 5. The other day he was stubborn on that this X is not an X because it is red instead of black(being vague as it was not on X, but the analogy is dead on). I turned told him to define X and then responded that color is not in the definition of X. He corrected himself, instead of argueing with him.

This normally doesnt show up until my peacemaker role shows up.

 

[Zoom]

First off, any advice? Am I just doomed to always have to learn everything the hard way 'cause nobody is going to point me in the right direction?

Secondly, I strongly believe the ISTP aka 'individualist extraordinaire' has ego issues that are very deep-seated, making them hard for us to notice before it's too late. any other ISTPs relate to this? how do you keep yourself in check when nobody else is willing to?

If ye give off the impression that you all ready know what you're doing, others are probably less likely to give off the cuff remarks and advice.

Perhaps, when you think you know the best way to do something (be it in work, relationships, etc)... purposefully seek out the thoughts of someone whose intelligence & opinion you trust when it's something that might benefit from an outside persepective?

"What do you think?"

Ye'd either have your viewpoint reinforced or a new one introduced, both positive outcomes, ne?

 

[sLiPpY]

ISTP's have ego's? Grayscale is joking right!?!

 

[Rachelinpa]

Hmm...I'm wondering what you would say the difference between ego and self-esteem is? I think I have a large but hidden ego. Yet, I struggle a lot with my sense of self-worth. It seems contradictory. Maybe it is.

Yeah, I was totally thinking about this the other day in regards to you guys. It seems like you have this fascinating balance of stubborn pride on one hand, but open humility at the same time. I couldn't really understand how they could coexist and have a difficult time explaining it, but hmm...

 

[sLiPpY]

Yeah, I was totally thinking about this the other day in regards to you guys. It seems like you have this fascinating balance of stubborn pride on one hand, but open humility at the same time. I couldn't really understand how they could coexist and have a difficult time explaining it, but hmm...

It's like I was saying to my ISTP friend a few years ago... "I don't have an ego...yada, yada ya."

ISTP friend says, "Who you?!? No ego!?! You are so full of ____!"

 

[millerm277]

Yeah, I was totally thinking about this the other day in regards to you guys. It seems like you have this fascinating balance of stubborn pride on one hand, but open humility at the same time. I couldn't really understand how they could coexist and have a difficult time explaining it, but hmm...

That's pretty much exactly correct. It isn't entirely pride, or ego really....I'm just stubborn on many things, even if I know I'm wrong, I want to figure it out myself. I equate ego more with thinking I'm better than others, and such....on that note, I don't have much of one. The only things I think I'm better at, are the ones I know I'm better at. (Ex: Skiing, I will claim to be a better skier, but the odds are I am).

 

[sLiPpY]

hmm...for me it's often the difference between sharing and telling. If someone wants
to share information in an area I feel really competant in, I listen...knowing I can learn
from it.

If someone decides to tell me how to do something better, I am really competant in.

The stubborn side comes out, I'll simply ignore them and do it my way. Or draw my line in the sand, if they push further.

 

[Amargith]

Yeah, I was totally thinking about this the other day in regards to you guys. It seems like you have this fascinating balance of stubborn pride on one hand, but open humility at the same time. I couldn't really understand how they could coexist and have a difficult time explaining it, but hmm...

Yeah I know..it's like they know what they're capable of, and are quite stubborn and arrogant about it..until someone shows that they're better at that. They fall immediately in line, hound the person for information, take any treatment that comes their way in order to reach their goal, never quit, never whine, are really humble during this process and realize that they have a long way to go, till they once again become the master. Repeat cycle.

I'm in utter awe at their ability to do this, I swear.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

That's pretty much exactly correct. It isn't entirely pride, or ego really....I'm just stubborn on many things, even if I know I'm wrong, I want to figure it out myself. I equate ego more with thinking I'm better than others, and such....on that note, I don't have much of one. The only things I think I'm better at, are the ones I know I'm better at. (Ex: Skiing, I will claim to be a better skier, but the odds are I am).

I don't think I'm better than others but I know I can do a lot of things better than others Confidence or ego? I'd say it's a fine line. But instead of talking about it - I show it. So it doesn't come off as arrogance. Sometimes I'll say something off the cuff about something I did and realize I said too much - like my inner ego comes out in a quick sentence and it sounds...conceited (ugh) I hate that! Then I'm kind of disgusted with myself for a minute.

The last few posters I can really relate to all of what they say. Pretty accurate and it's interesting to see what others (ENFP's here) see these things as.

 

[bcvcdc]

but honestly I would just rather they be more upfront because that is a more efficient way to communicate and if I was helping them I would try to make it easy to understand by doing the same.

I feel this way too. It's the very reason I don't, and I mean don't, write much in the forums, interact with others on a daily basis, or go to so called psychologists.

 

[luminous beam]

You're all wrong! Very, very wrong!

 

[Willfrey]

Yeah, I was totally thinking about this the other day in regards to you guys. It seems like you have this fascinating balance of stubborn pride on one hand, but open humility at the same time. I couldn't really understand how they could coexist and have a difficult time explaining it, but hmm...

I think much of it has to do with having a good sense of what you can and can't do. I'll admit I'm fairly egotistical when it comes down to particular things that I excel at, I simply *know* I am better. I am very outspoken and competitive when it comes to subjects I know a lot on, or activities I do very well at.

Of course on the other hand I have a very good sense of how I suck at some things and have no problem conceding.