I'll just go right into it. For those that remember my previous thread, that this is the same ISTP that I suspected liked me before.
We have been friends for two years. We nearly went out at the beginning of our relationship, but I told him that we couldn't because of moral differences. We remained friends: seeing each other occasionally because he lives an hour away, and texting on an almost daily basis. I've always carried the torch for him, and I've always suspected that he still has feelings for me.
He got a girlfriend and stayed with her for 8 months, which is rare for him because he's more of the womanizing, hookup type. They knew FOR A FACT, from the start, that they'd breakup before he went off to college out of state. He is an epic failure at long distance relationships. [At the moment, I don't think that they've officially broken up yet, even though he's gone.]
He saw me under a week before he left. We madeout. He seemed really into it. He made it clear verbally that he's liked me for a long time [in his own, SPish way]. This entire situation- I now realize- is bad and completely unfair to his girlfriend. I justified it at the time because they were for sure going to breakup. Now, I see things differently.
Now... the issue. This is possibly an NF/SP discrepancy, but it is driving me crazy. I'm not going to post every intricate detail, but I'll give generalizations. I also realize how clingy and desperate this entire post makes me sound, but at the moment I'm more indignant than hurt.
-He doesn't answer most of my text messages. He'll maybe respond to 1/3 of them, and only if I have a 'hook', like "guess what??" I always initiate the conversation. I always have to propel the conversation. I am tired of this. I became especially tired of it when I sat by the phone hoping he would contact me after our little incident. I became even more tired of it after several unsuccessful attempts to contact him, earning a response only after: "can we talk?"
-We never really talked about what occurred. When I attempted to, he gave me a couple of short answers and gave me some bullcrap response about "I need to focus on work." We both know that if he wanted to talk about it, he would. We both know that he texts during work all of the time and that he is not suddenly devoted to his job. Now, I didn't expect a full-length movie scene about our feelings, but I DID have some things that I wanted to clarify. I am now rendered unable to open up to him.
-Additionally, we had something that [at least, I felt like] seriously needed to be discussed. I made it clear I was upset and wanted to talk about it. He simply phased out of the conversation and stopped answering my messages. The issue is still not resolved. It will lie dormant forever.
-Every time I DID try to express my feelings, he kicked me in the stomach.
Example.
Me: "You do know that I've liked you like...forever, right?"
Him: "Ah. Sorry, we can't date. I'm going out of state."
Me: "I got that... I'm just telling you."
I figured that no relationship would come of what happened. That’s not why I’m upset. I did NOT expect that he would be as emotionally distant as he is now. I don't know what his problem is, but I feel extremely undervalued. I suppose that the synopsis of this situation is: “he isn’t into you.” I don't care about that. The point is... we’re good friends! This is all angering me so much, but I feel like there's a stone fortress around him.
I personally feel like he's being unfair to me, but I want an SP point of view. Also, [in an attempt to make this post relevant to everyone], what are common issues in NF/SP relationships, and how can they be avoided/fixed?
