[SP] SP Dads

[wolfy]

Seeing as there is two of you I thought I'd start a thread where the SP dads can put stupid stories and inane advice. And you can ask dumb questions.

 

[Kingfisher]

hahaha! stupid inane and dumb, i like the tone you set here!!

 

[Jeffster]

BEST THREAD IDEA EVER

I've found a good thing to say when your kid starts a sentence with "I want..":

"Well, I want a million dollars, so as soon as my wish is granted, yours will be too!"

 

[wolfy]

Kids can't cry and look up at the same time. So when they start balling you say 'look! there's a helicopter!' and they stop.

 

[Halla74]

(1) When my kids say: "I want _______."I say: "That's great! And I want a red truck!"

(2) I scare the heck out of my kids regularly, daily I think. They have both gotten very good at reciprocating. My 4 year old just scared the hell out of me while I started browsing this forum!

(3) I take my kids out to run errands and then I say "OK, Dad just made an executive decision. We are going to the ice cream shop and getting Sundaes, and there is NOTHING either of you can do to talk me out of it." Then they both start griping (in jest) "Awwww man! Ice cream sucks! We hate ice cream!"

 

[wolfy]

My kids and I like to practice comedy routines together. Having fun and learning is what's it's all about.

 

[Jeffster]

Remember - if you swallow an appleseed, an apple tree will grow in your stomach.

 

[Quinlan]

This thread is great, more lies to tell kids please.

 

[Dali]

Whatever you do, NEVER promise a kid a reward if a target (at school or wherever) is achieved and then not follow through.

I have bitter memories of my SP dad not following through on SO much stuff promised. e.g. holidays, outings, gifts...

Oy, get away from me. I didn't ask for a hug.

 

[Ivy]

BEST THREAD IDEA EVER

I've found a good thing to say when your kid starts a sentence with "I want..":

"Well, I want a million dollars, so as soon as my wish is granted, yours will be too!"

My usual answer to this is "Well, I want a solid gold toilet, but we don't always get what we want, do we?"

Disclaimer: I am not an SP dad

 

[Jeffster]

My usual answer to this is "Well, I want a solid gold toilet, but we don't always get what we want, do we?"

Of all the things to be solid gold, why would you pick the toilet? Haha.

Disclaimer: I am not an SP dad

INTRUDER! INTRUDER!

 

[wolfy]

I'm definitely taking my kids to this when it come out. Fantastic Mr. Fox- Official Theatrical Trailer

 

[Eowyn]

I'm an SP mom, but I end up doing half the stuff the SP dads do.

The first two lessons my kids learn:

a) sarcasm

b) how to accept correction while their parents are laughing their asses off.

 

[Poki]

My son has pirate treasure that someone told him was called pirate booty. I told him he has to always use pirate before booty and he asked why. I stupidly said if you didnt then it would just come out "I found the booty". then I proceeded to slap myself in the head while he cracked up laughing.

 

[Fading Dead Star]

I want to be a dad!
I especially want a daughter, since I've grown up with two brothers all my life.
I dunno, I guess I'm at the stage where I really want to accomplish things, and having a daughter is one of them.

 

[Dali]

^ +1

I'm torn between wanting to stay a bachelor till I'm 40 AND wanting to have kids while in my twenties. I think I'd make a pretty cool dad (kinda like the dads that have posted so far).

 

[wolfy]

This thread is great, more lies to tell kids please.

Santa Claus
The Tooth Fairy
There is a little man in the radio (My dad told me that one)

 

[Jeffster]

A bird in the hand....makes blowing your nose difficult.

 

[wolfy]

Speaking of girls it's fun to say 'Got a girlfriend?' to your son.

 

[Fading Dead Star]

Speaking of girls it's fun to say 'Got a girlfriend?' to your son.

I BLOODY HATED THAT!!