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[ISTP] Unhealthy ISTP

Synarch

Once Was
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At 33 he really has become a wonderful person, a good father, and still tries to get back together with me now and then. He has a very good soul, he just needed to be forced to grow up a bit.

Ever want him back? I'm always curious about this with people who have children.
 

sculpting

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poki I's guess for you thinking is an all or none instant thing. For my istp, to have to dwell in depth on something abstract-especially felleing based was impossible.\

Again, actions speak louder than words. I'd expect you would prefer to do something rather than talk or think about something for long periods of time.

I think you are very caring so I wouldnt worry too much about being unhealthy.
 

sculpting

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Ever want him back? I'm always curious about this with people who have children.

haha, that's kinda funny.

I have tried that a few times and end up not happy each time. We dated-meaning started hanging out and then he moved into my apartment-in high school. Got knocked up and had the baby about six months after graduation. He left when the little guy was three weeks old.

Was moderately involved those first few years.

When I decided to move to Michigan for grad school five years later, he begged, pleaded, wanted to be together and be a family. I really didnt think it was a good idea, was happy alone and independent, but felt like shit not giving my kid a good family life with his dad there.

It was only about three years of misery there, then two okay years. Then we moved home, two more miserable years then I finally kicked his ass out after he did something that really hurt me-he never even understood what it was. Then I found out about kid number two.

He has been a great dad since then with both kids. When I say misery-it isnt real misery, just not what being with someone should be. He never, ever knew me. You guys know me better than he does. We just live in different universes.

I actually avoid the istp threads as I feel some guilt that I should make an effort to better understand him, adapt myself to his needs. Then I rebel, enjoy stretching my soul out in its nice comfy space where I can be who I really am, and run like hell smiling all the way.

The kidelets seem okay by this and are heathly and happy and see lots of mom and dad, so no guilt there.
 

Poki

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poki I's guess for you thinking is an all or none instant thing. For my istp, to have to dwell in depth on something abstract-especially felleing based was impossible.\

Again, actions speak louder than words. I'd expect you would prefer to do something rather than talk or think about something for long periods of time.

I think you are very caring so I wouldnt worry too much about being unhealthy.

I am actually very deep thinker and that is my problem at times. I take things beyond functional and get to far into abstract that it becomes pointless and I get lost and confused. I start relating everything and anything together, I lose track of what is true and what is internal logic in my head. I wonder if people are messing with me, basically I come up with so many different possibilities that I get confused. Everything makes sense, but I know there is only one answer. I no longer know what to believe what not to believe. For me its not that I would prefer action, but I need something to get me out of my head. I need to be brought into the world because the perception I have is not enough to come to an answer. Being dominant Ti I have a real hard time pulling myself out of my head because that is where I am the most comfortable and where my strength is.

I came up with a quote yesterday from interacting with both an ENFJ and an ENFP.

"In life when it feels like the world is crashing in on you, sometimes you need to be saved from yourself instead of being saved from the world. For when you are saved from yourself you can find the strength to take on the world."
 
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I am actually very deep thinker and that is my problem at times. I take things beyond functional and get to far into abstract that it becomes pointless and I get lost and confused. I start relating everything and anything together, I lose track of what is true and what is internal logic in my head. I wonder if people are messing with me, basically I come up with so many different possibilities that I get confused. Everything makes sense, but I know there is only one answer. I no longer know what to believe what not to believe. For me its not that I would prefer action, but I need something to get me out of my head. I need to be brought into the world because the perception I have is not enough to come to an answer. Being dominant Ti I have a real hard time pulling myself out of my head because that is where I am the most comfortable and where my strength is.

No offense, but you just don't come across as an ISTP. Needing to be brought into the world from being in your head so much?! How is that characteristic of an ISTP? You also seem very verbose for an ISTP. Their writing style tends to be more terse and concise.
 

Poki

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No offense, but you just don't come across as an ISTP. Needing to be brought into the world from being in your head so much?! How is that characteristic of an ISTP? You also seem very verbose for an ISTP. Their writing style tends to be more terse and concise.

No offense taken. When we let out what is from within we are letting out our internal sides. For an ISTP that would be Ti+Ni. Ni is abstract. With an ISTJ you are letting out Si+Fi which Si is very concise. My thoughts are very abstract but with Ni as a tertiary it can confuses me and I dont know how to handle that confusion.
 

Poki

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Unhealthy doesnt always mean that you become hateful or mean to others or just think about yourself. When I become unhealhty I get bored, I dont know what to do, I wander around doing nothing. What I need is someone that I can do something for and make them happy. I need something for Fe to be able to grab ahold of and say lets do this for this person. I love doing things for other people, but I could careless if they know it was me. This is what I see as an inferior Fe. My sole reason is knowing that yes I can make someone else happy. I have even went so far as to hide the fact that it was me because at that point you realize that if what you did is really what makes them happy and it is not a facade they put on because it is you.
 

Domino

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I've met some pretty spacey existential ISTPs before. Most likely a sign of high N dragging down reality.

My ISTP best friend and I used to talk a blue streak for hours. Sometimes when I wasn't around he'd write me letters, and when he wasn't around I'd answer them. He was rather gregarious and easy-going, but in a submerged Fe way.

Then again I've met ISTPs who feel "solid", like so grounded there's no room for the existential spaciness or small talk. It's all about sub categories really.
 

Poki

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I've met some pretty spacey existential ISTPs before. Most likely a sign of high N dragging down reality.

You calling me spacey and existential?:shock: lol, being high on N sucks, I want to have fun damn it!!!!!!!
 

Domino

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You calling me spacey and existential?:shock: lol,

I dunno, did you like it? If yes, then I am! hahhaha!

Ah me, wacky subtypes...

being high on N sucks

You know, it kinda does. I know of a few examples of high N ISTPs, and the poor creatures seem endlessly antagonized by their Ni. I guess it had never occurred to me that the tertiary antagonism could work in reverse... what I mean is, my Se likes to apply itself helpfully in only a few very limited areas and the rest of the time, it's blowing smoke up my skirt with elaborate conspiracy "inputs" it THINKS it's getting from our environment. It helps me read people and put together a killer outfit, but it also gleefully lies to me like a hot villain boyfriend. My first two functions collapse, and my brain heats up with data I can't categorize or take apart.

I (wrongly) assumed that N was way more immaterial and therefore less able to form itself into an agent of chaos, but I've revised my opinion on that.


I want to have fun damn it!!!!!!!

NEIN!!! No soup for you!
 

Poki

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I dunno, did you like it? If yes, then I am! hahhaha!

I liked it :)

Ah me, wacky subtypes...

You know, it kinda does. I know of a few examples of high N ISTPs, and the poor creatures seem endlessly antagonized by their Ni. I guess it had never occurred to me that the tertiary antagonism could work in reverse... what I mean is, my Se likes to apply itself helpfully in only a few very limited areas and the rest of the time, it's blowing smoke up my skirt with elaborate conspiracy "inputs" it THINKS it's getting from our environment. It helps me read people and put together a killer outfit, but it also gleefully lies to me like a hot villain boyfriend. My first two functions collapse, and my brain heats up with data I can't categorize or take apart.

I can see tertiary Se in action with my wife. She forgets what I normally do and when things get bad think I am doing them for different reasons, conspiracy reasons.

I (wrongly) assumed that N was way more immaterial and therefore less able to form itself into an agent of chaos, but I've revised my opinion on that.

Ni does help with enough Se, but without enough Se Ti+Ni WILL find ways to link things together whether they should be or not. When you realize what it is doing you can really get confused as to what is abstract and what is not. With enough Se experience in certain areas Ni can be very helpful.
 

phoenity

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For the past few years I have found myself becoming more "neurotic" and in-my-head than I ever have been.

I attribute this to development of tertiary Ni. When I think back, I've always used Ni, but it was an extremely small supplement to Se+Ti. My thinking was always very concrete dealing only with things I could sense, things I could think about in material terms, and when Ni jumped in, the intuition was only about things I could not see but that I knew were there, existing in a material sense.

Recently, Ni has got me thinking more in terms of ideas and concepts beyond what my sensing tells me is "reality". It goes so broad and so abstract, Ti can always make sense of it in abstract terms otherwise it would be thrown away, and I can't tell myself it isn't real because I can't prove it. It just becomes this endless cycle, getting deeper and deeper into an idea.

It's really enjoyable and an interesting new way to think about things. I'm thinking about things that I can't sense, which are essentially "immaterial", but are applicable to my view of reality, in a sense that they are expanding it.

Ni gives me this internal feeling that there is this possibility that there is more to reality than just what my sensing is capable of perceiving.
 

Domino

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I liked it :)

The village rejoices! :D


I can see tertiary Se in action with my wife. She forgets what I normally do and when things get bad think I am doing them for different reasons, conspiracy reasons.

When my Se goes "off", it tends to pull erroneous data from *inanimate* objects, which is possibly even worse. I can still "feel out" people, but in the realm of insentient solids, I can lose my bearings quickly. My mechanical background has helped reduce that, but my physical situation has aversion trained me to external stimulus. I'll find myself deeply distrusting OBJECTS, and due to the nature of my illness, for example, I won't have a baseline to work up from in my assessment of such an object because the criteria can maddeningly change from hour to hour, so my Ni turns to white hot slag trying to "intuit" what this object's "intentions" are.

It's like trying to taste something and getting the answer of "purple" instead of "sweet/salty/rotten/nirvana".

If that sounds confusing and incomprehensible, then I've done my job.

Ni does help with enough Se, but without enough Se Ti+Ni WILL find ways to link things together whether they should be or not. When you realize what it is doing you can really get confused as to what is abstract and what is not. With enough Se experience in certain areas Ni can be very helpful.

Oh absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself.
 

Poki

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The village rejoices! :D




When my Se goes "off", it tends to pull erroneous data from *inanimate* objects, which is possibly even worse. I can still "feel out" people, but in the realm of insentient solids, I can lose my bearings quickly. My mechanical background has helped reduce that, but my physical situation has aversion trained me to external stimulus. I'll find myself deeply distrusting OBJECTS, and due to the nature of my illness, for example, I won't have a baseline to work up from in my assessment of such an object because the criteria can maddeningly change from hour to hour, so my Ni turns to white hot slag trying to "intuit" what this object's "intentions" are.

It's like trying to taste something and getting the answer of "purple" instead of "sweet/salty/rotten/nirvana".

If that sounds confusing and incomprehensible, then I've done my job.



Oh absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself.



You confused with the thinking that an object can have intentions. I think i understand the thing about getting purple instead of sweet/salty, etc. Its like when you taset something it brings up the thought purple. More than likely you have associated that with a purple object. I strangely understand you because my brain works on things like that, but not as vague. Things pop into my head, for example songs. you can sit there and say something and a song pops into my head with those words or meaning. I think I may spend more time in my head so these things are more well defined and not as vague as purple.
 

jixmixfix

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I dunno, did you like it? If yes, then I am! hahhaha!

Ah me, wacky subtypes...



You know, it kinda does. I know of a few examples of high N ISTPs, and the poor creatures seem endlessly antagonized by their Ni. I guess it had never occurred to me that the tertiary antagonism could work in reverse... what I mean is, my Se likes to apply itself helpfully in only a few very limited areas and the rest of the time, it's blowing smoke up my skirt with elaborate conspiracy "inputs" it THINKS it's getting from our environment. It helps me read people and put together a killer outfit, but it also gleefully lies to me like a hot villain boyfriend. My first two functions collapse, and my brain heats up with data I can't categorize or take apart.

I (wrongly) assumed that N was way more immaterial and therefore less able to form itself into an agent of chaos, but I've revised my opinion on that.




NEIN!!! No soup for you!

does that mean I'm fucked for good?
 

jixmixfix

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The village rejoices! :D




When my Se goes "off", it tends to pull erroneous data from *inanimate* objects, which is possibly even worse. I can still "feel out" people, but in the realm of insentient solids, I can lose my bearings quickly. My mechanical background has helped reduce that, but my physical situation has aversion trained me to external stimulus. I'll find myself deeply distrusting OBJECTS, and due to the nature of my illness, for example, I won't have a baseline to work up from in my assessment of such an object because the criteria can maddeningly change from hour to hour, so my Ni turns to white hot slag trying to "intuit" what this object's "intentions" are.

It's like trying to taste something and getting the answer of "purple" instead of "sweet/salty/rotten/nirvana".

If that sounds confusing and incomprehensible, then I've done my job.



Oh absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself.

I think ISTP's with high N's tend to be less risk takers more cautious and afraid, anxious ect. "sensing" is starting to become more of a thing of the past since our world is now evolving towards the necessity of understanding theory in order to adapt. In order to counter the "N" you have be in situations where you could put your sensing to good use. So ISTPs with high N's go outside for Jog play sports ect. to get outside your head.
 
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No offense taken. When we let out what is from within we are letting out our internal sides. For an ISTP that would be Ti+Ni. Ni is abstract. With an ISTJ you are letting out Si+Fi which Si is very concise. My thoughts are very abstract but with Ni as a tertiary it can confuses me and I dont know how to handle that confusion.

It seems to me that ISTPs that are high in Ni would seem similar to INTPs. How can one tell the difference?
 

jixmixfix

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It seems to me that ISTPs that are high in Ni would seem similar to INTPs. How can one tell the difference?

I dunno but I'm a prime example, I only think so because I tend to be happier and at peace being "in the moment" emotionally. Recalling my past I was never really into books or thoery, more so anything that involved being practical like building a go cart. I tend be spontaneous as well, up until I turned to my late teens i never really saw the bigger picture, but I look towards primary functions.
 

Poki

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I initially tested INTP, but it didnt fit. I do not have the verbal ability of an INTP, but I do have the mental ability of an INTP. I am a busy body and get bored and restless if I am not doing something. I use my Ni when I have down time and do not have the ability to use my Se. In the past when I was bored I would do something physically exhausting. One example is get a board, put a nail in it and then turn it upside down so the head of the nail is against the ground. I would then hit the board until I pushed the nail all the way through. I was never violent and didnt do it out of anger, just boredom. I like to push myself to my limits physically. I dont let fear and anxiety control me, but I do let it steer me. There is a big difference between control and steering. Control will stop you, steering will cause you to use caution. That is kinda how I am with everything. I let feelings steer me, but not control me. I use feelings as a guide. There are very few times where my feelings become so strong that it takes control and when it does happen I dont know how to not respond to it. This is probably the ENFJ shadow. This has happened with anger once that I can remember because me and others were being punished for something I did that I had got approval to do when I was younger. Every other time it has been because of other feelings, but this rarely happens.
 

phoenity

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The village rejoices! :D




When my Se goes "off", it tends to pull erroneous data from *inanimate* objects, which is possibly even worse. I can still "feel out" people, but in the realm of insentient solids, I can lose my bearings quickly. My mechanical background has helped reduce that, but my physical situation has aversion trained me to external stimulus. I'll find myself deeply distrusting OBJECTS, and due to the nature of my illness, for example, I won't have a baseline to work up from in my assessment of such an object because the criteria can maddeningly change from hour to hour, so my Ni turns to white hot slag trying to "intuit" what this object's "intentions" are.

It's like trying to taste something and getting the answer of "purple" instead of "sweet/salty/rotten/nirvana".

If that sounds confusing and incomprehensible, then I've done my job.



Oh absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself.

I've done that as well - I don't think it's weird at all to use a color to describe a taste, as color is one of many aspects of a sensation for me.

I can recall tasting something and describing it as "purple". My friends were confused, because what I actually meant was that the flavor reminded me of artificial grape flavoring, and those things tend to be purple in color.

It's funny because my mind doesn't associate artificial grape flavoring with the flavor of a real grape or grape juice, since the flavor of real grape is so much more complex and different, so it associates that artificial flavor primarily with just the color purple.

Purple Kool-Aid, purple Flavor Ice, purple Gobstoppers, they all taste like purple to me!

Everytime I drink Guinness, or any other strong stout, the sensation of "black" is appearing in my mind, probably because of the color that it is, and also associating it with other black things like black coffee, motor oil, or ash - essentially a very earthy flavor.
 
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