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[ESFP] What does an unhealthy ESFP look like?

KarenParker

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7
What does an unhealthy ESFP look like? If one is an unhealthy ESFP, what are they supposed to do?
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
courtney-love.jpg
 

Bamboo

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
2,689
MBTI Type
XXFP
Unhealthy ESFP or ESFP while in a bad spot:

- wants to see people that hurt him/her fail or be rejected
- can be critical of things they never tried before
- will become overly concerned with matters of image over substance
- hedonistic

Tips:
- eliminate double standards by reconsidering beliefs
- control your jealousy
- remember controlling your urges for right now can be good for you in the long run
 

Azseroffs

New member
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
Messages
417
MBTI Type
ENTj
Enneagram
5w4
I don't know how true this is, but I'm fairly certain that this is all you have to do to see what an unhealthy type is like:

negative parts of Dom function x5
lack of auxiliary
negative tertiary
immature inferior

so unhealthy ESFP would show all the negatives that come from Se, with a taste of argumentativeness or something similar from Te, and may become paranoid from immature Ni.

edit: My aunt actually fits in with this pretty well. She's into all sorts of drugs and such(common for unhealthy ESPs), shes a bitch and is always screaming about wanting things done for her (negative Te), and she can't live alone because she is 'sure' something will happen to her(Immature Ni (seeing connections where there are none))

^ not blood related thank god...
 

KarenParker

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7
Wow thanks, you guys! I am always so impressed that everyone knows so much about this stuff. It's really helpful.
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
Joined
May 9, 2010
Messages
2,191
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
They will regress to having logic of a 5 year old.
Will become hypocritical and criticize everything you do as wrong, although they do the same exact thing.
They will try and pursue any attempt to make you break/fail if you have wronged them, usually by getting to your emotions, which might work, but mostly only through other feeling types.
Oh, and they'll take any credit for doing anything good, even if it was you who did it.

Unhealthy ESTPs are pretty stupid, imo.
 

HomerSoprano

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
57
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't know how true this is, but I'm fairly certain that this is all you have to do to see what an unhealthy type is like:

negative parts of Dom function x5
lack of auxiliary
negative tertiary
immature inferior

so unhealthy ESFP would show all the negatives that come from Se, with a taste of argumentativeness or something similar from Te, and may become paranoid from immature Ni.

edit: My aunt actually fits in with this pretty well. She's into all sorts of drugs and such(common for unhealthy ESPs), shes a bitch and is always screaming about wanting things done for her (negative Te), and she can't live alone because she is 'sure' something will happen to her(Immature Ni (seeing connections where there are none))

^ not blood related thank god...

Like the ESFP flirt I once had. Drug and promiscuos issues(sensing x5). Desire to hurt peoples feelings intentionally(lack of feeling). Thinking I still want her(immature N).
 

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
They will regress to having logic of a 5 year old.
Will become hypocritical and criticize everything you do as wrong, although they do the same exact thing.
They will try and pursue any attempt to make you break/fail if you have wronged them, usually by getting to your emotions, which might work, but mostly only through other feeling types.
Oh, and they'll take any credit for doing anything good, even if it was you who did it.

Unhealthy ESTPs are pretty stupid, imo.

I know one ESFP and that's exactly what happened during the "fight" that lead to not being friends anymore. Well, I didn't consider her a friend regardless at that point. Nothing she could have said or done would have had much of an effect on me.

She was bitching about me to a mutual friend and he said "whoa, slow down, look at this from her view" and he proceeded to list a bunch of shitty things she'd done over the past few months. Not that she was outright mean or anything, but she was definitely one of the crappiest "friends" ever based on her behavior (which is how I [and many others] judge people). So the next day she sends me a few instant messages while I'm at work, apologizing for the crappy things that the mutual friend had listed... I didn't reply 'cause it was nearing the end of the day and I didn't honestly want to talk about it at all. Like I said before, I didn't consider her a friend, ergo not worth wasting time making amends for anything.

She was sorry that I was talking about her behind her back. She wasn't sorry for anything she had actually done. She had an excuse for everything.

I took her IMs and responded to each one of them and basically said "Fuck you, we're not friends anyway, idk what your point is, go be friends with the *other* mutual friend we had/have." I didn't actually throw any insults her way or call her names, and I didn't actually use the f-word (or any other 4-letter ones).

Her response to that was the longest list of insults I've ever gotten.
Among those...
biting, bitter, unapologetic, always right, petty, ridiculous, condesending, cynical, blunt, bitter, compassionless, show no understanding, no forgiveness, assumed the worse, handled this situation in the worst way possible, defensive, criticizm, cyncism, sarcasm, mockery, mean girl, will be friendless due to cynicism and sarcasm, attitude will only drive people away from me, I take the low road, rude, bitter

I had some other stuff quoted, but the point was that she thought *I* had handled everything poorly since she made an attempt to apologize...mind you, it was the fakest attempt I've gotten. She didn't like that I was talking about her behind her back to a mutual friend. She had an excuse for everything she'd done.

And I get that I didn't own up to any of my own mistakes, but I didn't throw insults at her either. I described how she behaved and how she might have shown interest in my wellbeing if she'd really cared about being friends before she heard she was a jerk.

Lol, I wanted to make a FB status out of the insults but I thought that might be asking for drama. ;)
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
Okay, can we do a healthy ESFP too? What does a healthy ESFP look like?
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
a healthy ESFP is kind, enjoys life, has the amazing ability to turn work into play by just deciding that they might as well enjoy it... laid back in a way, but not comatose, doesn't let bad things ruin their life, forgiving, openminded and independent :)

unhealthy ESFP that I know is still a good guy who is very supportive of his friends, but has some substance problems and problems with past decisions... he has his ups and downs emotionally- when up he turns the world on by smiling and joking and all around being charming... he can do almost anything in that state, but when he hits a bump things can spiral downwards at an alarming pace until he pulls himself together again :(
 

une_autre

New member
Joined
Oct 13, 2009
Messages
114
MBTI Type
ESTP
Unhealthy:
- unable to handle criticism whatsoever;
- backstabber.
- take every you you do (or not do) to any other person as an attack at them. Then they throw it in your face and expect you to acknowledge that you are guilty of this, hence guilty of everything wrong in the world (like famine, tornados or their own self-esteem problems)
- hypocrite (as somebody well said)

etc.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
a healthy ESFP is kind, enjoys life, has the amazing ability to turn work into play by just deciding that they might as well enjoy it... laid back in a way, but not comatose, doesn't let bad things ruin their life, forgiving, openminded and independent :)

How do you mean 'independent'? Examples?
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
the healthy ones I know are fine with going hiking alone or taking a road trip... they're great with meeting new people and just getting along with everyone sort of... independent meaning not needy and clingy :)
 

Amethyst

¡MI TORTA!
Joined
May 9, 2010
Messages
2,191
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
How do you mean 'independent'? Examples?
I agree...I know a couple ESFPs, and there's no way they're independent. They insist that there is someone around them at all times.
 

gromit

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Messages
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Perhaps that is the difference between healthy and unhealthy...?
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,559
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Unhealthy:
- unable to handle criticism whatsoever;
- backstabber.
- take every you you do (or not do) to any other person as an attack at them. Then they throw it in your face and expect you to acknowledge that you are guilty of this, hence guilty of everything wrong in the world (like famine, tornados or their own self-esteem problems)
- hypocrite (as somebody well said)

etc.

They will regress to having logic of a 5 year old.
Will become hypocritical and criticize everything you do as wrong, although they do the same exact thing.
They will try and pursue any attempt to make you break/fail if you have wronged them, usually by getting to your emotions, which might work, but mostly only through other feeling types.
Oh, and they'll take any credit for doing anything good, even if it was you who did it.

Unhealthy ESTPs are pretty stupid, imo.

Unhealthy ESFP or ESFP while in a bad spot:

- wants to see people that hurt him/her fail or be rejected
- can be critical of things they never tried before
- will become overly concerned with matters of image over substance
- hedonistic

I have seen almost all these things with a former co-worker. It's good to know this may be some kind of normal aberration vs. a serious mental health issue (which is what I thought it might be). Also, this person was never able to admit she was ever wrong or made a mistake, refusing to take responsibility for her own actions, and blaming everybody else. There was noise that followed her around everywhere.

With this person, there was nothing I could do right in their eyes. All interaction seemed to lead to negative consequences. Being open and honest didn't work. Turning the other cheek didn't work. Being kind and showing concern didn't work. Praise didn't work. Attempts to guide and coach didn't work. The only positive action I seemed to be able to take was to stay as far away from her as possible. It was frustrating. I attempted to analyze what I might be doing wrong ad infinitum.
 
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