• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ISFP] the frightening shadow of the isfp

maliafee

Active member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
1,127
I still want to know more about our Tes that is so scary.

BUT I do know I flip. This must be that scary side.

What do I do? I am obstinate, sarcastic, sharp-tongued, snide like Quinlan, ready to cry inside, ummm... it's awful. I always feel horribly bad afterwards. Sometimes it comes out because of anxiety, sometimes I've been pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed and then I turn into a fucking lioness. :->
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
The reality is, though, is that I want to run away really fast once I start talking to her. She's an isfp who judges my eyes, my thoughts, just gets under my skin somehow, someway. Like little black holes that bore into my eyes and suck out the plasm.


My, I've felt the same with this ISFP many years ago. My throat would go dry every time she spoke to me. Not that she was any ENTJ-like or anything, but those black eyes we're so kind and attentive, I felt uncomfortable. It was so free. Love so freely-given, I mean. I felt like she could see through me, but not that she judged me. She must actually have felt that I was exploring her and trying to figure her out all over the place with my eyes, because she would kind of lose her smile; I simply kept silent and didn't know what to say. I also noticed that she would sober up emotionally when I was being silent and serious while she was exclaiming herself all over the place with that "Oh my goodness!!! It's soooo good to see you!" thing I simply couldn't believe since she barely knew me. I keep a funny feeling that ISFPs are phony because they're awful nice to you without knowing you well (this girl was actually friendly and familiar with me like she hadn't seen me in a long time -so weird). But then again I remember something she said to me in a letter later about herself that really moved me and sounded so honest: "I love people." I want to believe this is what motivates the ISFP, even though I am aware that they don't go so deep about it as we NFs do.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
You like her hmm, are attracted to her mysterious-ness somehow?

I say go for it. Find out what is sending you off-balance. Perhaps she will become a great friend.
 

NewEra

New member
Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
3,104
MBTI Type
I
Wait a second...... the shadow of the ISFP is the ENTJ?
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Have I? I can't remember, maybe it burned it's way into my conciousness.
 

markscol

New member
Joined
Jun 11, 2009
Messages
24
yeah, my close ISFP friend..well we havent known eachother for very along but have great communication. She was frustrated iwth me-- i think-- the other night when i didnt know where something was. She got snippy and said "and why are we going there again?"..and really huffy puffy. It made me feel very uncomfortable, as i didnt feeel comfortable confronting her attitude because she is so senstive..... i am not sure what shadow it was, but she seemed very irritable. it was the first time i had seen her like that..as SO abrasive. Sometimes she can be snippy and seem peeved, but never like this... wierd! usually they are so warm funny...but be careful if they get stressed!
 

INTPatricia

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
65
MBTI Type
intj
The silences of an INFP and ISFP mean something totally different

Studying this type stuff for the last several years, I think that I've been sort of groomed to assume people to stick to the typical descriptions (estj = judgmental asshole, etc. Don't you like how I stopped there? Ha ha ha).

isfps I think, in particular and probably more so than estjs (in my mind), have been boxed in. Sites everywhere list descriptions detailing the isfp as the most calm, welcoming, generally peaceful-in-its-skin type there is. By and large, those that I've come to identify as isfp have some of the kindest minds.

This sort of sets up what I want to present: what I think is maybe the best real-life example of an isfp using her shadow functions with regularity. She is a fairly tall young woman, both well-dressed in some trendy blue denim and sparkly earrings. She also walks in a played-down but confident manner and has that deeper voice. That's it.

The reality is, though, is that I want to run away really fast once I start talking to her. She's an isfp who judges my eyes, my thoughts, just gets under my skin somehow, someway. Like little black holes that bore into my eyes and suck out the plasm.

There were several weeks over the course of the past semester during which I told a few close confidants how I uncomfortable I felt and how I planned on telling her personally when the time was right. Unfortunately for my rotten plans, one day while sitting behind me, she gave me her leftover bag of cookies and I felt like crap.

Regardless, I'd still planned on starting a thread around her sometime.

All facts considered, and clearly as an isfp, I believe that she operates quite extensively using her shadow functions. How often do you unleash your inner entj, isfps? Other thoughts or comments?


I've know men and women of both types quite well. INFPs and ISFPs are very different. I don't think you should interpret the ISFP...she isn't like you at all...what is behind that silence...those "eyes" isn't what you think...I doubt it is judgement. I'll bet it is observation of your suspicion of her judgement. Go back to square 1. Get simple again (if that is possible for an INFP); Unthink your thoughts,2. Unintuit your tuits;3. Unfeel your feelings;4. Unperceive your misperceptions.

The ISFP is just "being" with their body and not using their eyes for anything but seeing where they are going. I think you use the eyes for communing.

Anyway...I could be wrong. Eat the cookies.
 

Julie1962

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2009
Messages
138
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
5
The ISFP is just "being" with their body and not using their eyes for anything but seeing where they are going. I think you use the eyes for communing.

Anyway...I could be wrong. Eat the cookies.


I communicate with my eyes .. love, anger, fear, disgust. Always have .. always will. :shock:
 

mortabunt

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 10, 2009
Messages
963
MBTI Type
type
Enneagram
5
To all N's: once you emerge from the sensor's world: you never want to go back. Information drawn from Temple Brandon.
 

rooo

New member
Joined
Apr 12, 2009
Messages
30
MBTI Type
isfp
Here comes a long post but sometimes this surprises me... I do communicate with my eyes, when someone does manage to cheese me right off, I can't help but focus all my digust on them--and then it's like I'm seeing their eyes up close--and as soon as we make eye contact they look quite worried despite having been agressive a second ago... it scares me a little actually but I would probably never actually say anything to them with words. Last time it happened I was absent-mindedly crossing when the cars coming in the other direction had the right of way and this car had to beep at me to stop.. this girl in the passenger side seat gave me a really ugly look and was yelling at me. I just stared at her, through her window, feeling really disgusted and she completely changed her face and kind of just stared agawk at me. Perhaps she just didn't expect me to react that way.

This happened to me once when I was heartbroken and was walking past a yappy dog, who had sad eyes like the man I was heartbroken over. As soon as I made eye contact, I felt all this love pour out and despite the fact that I was wearing sunglasses, the dog and I made direct eye contact in this way, like we were the same species, and he couldn't manage a bark out til I walked past him.

It's very weird, has this happened to any other isfp's (or any of you guys) I wonder?

Maybe it's not the eyes since my vision isn't perfect, but some dormant sixth sense, that all people are supposed to have?

Oh, but on topic... I don't think this is the shadow side of me... my shadow side is supposed to be an ENTJ? I will have to look it up. And more so to the point of your original post, well, honestly I wouldn't overanalyze it too much.. as an ISFP, if it matters, if I was her and I knew what you just assumed about her, and the romanticizing, I would probably give you a weird look and keep my distance... :/ but perfectly fine to speculate, I just wouldn't take it too seriously.
 
Last edited:

Saffronsocks

New member
Joined
Jun 18, 2009
Messages
75
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
4w5
Wait a second...... the shadow of the ISFP is the ENTJ?
:doh:

well that explains 15 years of growing up with my sister.
I can vouch for the dark side... she can be opinionated, lashy, picky, insecure...

but holy crap no one better to cuddle with.

I think I see the dark underbelly because no one else does, and it never feels like her real (deepest) self going on these tyrades, so I just kinda let her blow off the steam (chase that conspiracy theory!) and usually before too long she's making special dinners for her cats and sewing patches onto her clothes while looking wistfully at everything (although she denies she does that... she's so wistful)
 

phoenity

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2008
Messages
472
Here comes a long post but sometimes this surprises me... I do communicate with my eyes, when someone does manage to cheese me right off, I can't help but focus all my digust on them--and then it's like I'm seeing their eyes up close--and as soon as we make eye contact they look quite worried despite having been agressive a second ago... it scares me a little actually but I would probably never actually say anything to them with words. Last time it happened I was absent-mindedly crossing when the cars coming in the other direction had the right of way and this car had to beep at me to stop.. this girl in the passenger side seat gave me a really ugly look and was yelling at me. I just stared at her, through her window, feeling really disgusted and she completely changed her face and kind of just stared agawk at me. Perhaps she just didn't expect me to react that way.

This happened to me once when I was heartbroken and was walking past a yappy dog, who had sad eyes like the man I was heartbroken over. As soon as I made eye contact, I felt all this love pour out and despite the fact that I was wearing sunglasses, the dog and I made direct eye contact in this way, like we were the same species, and he couldn't manage a bark out til I walked past him.

It's very weird, has this happened to any other isfp's (or any of you guys) I wonder?

Maybe it's not the eyes since my vision isn't perfect, but some dormant sixth sense, that all people are supposed to have?

Oh, but on topic... I don't think this is the shadow side of me... my shadow side is supposed to be an ENTJ? I will have to look it up. And more so to the point of your original post, well, honestly I wouldn't overanalyze it too much.. as an ISFP, if it matters, if I was her and I knew what you just assumed about her, and the romanticizing, I would probably give you a weird look and keep my distance... :/ but perfectly fine to speculate, I just wouldn't take it too seriously.

Her ego reacted. Your eye contact gave her awareness that you were not just another ego, but a fellow consciousness like herself. It brought her into the present moment, where automatic ego reactions are irrational, and consciousness "thinks".

To me, eye contact (or any physical sense) feels like the most effective way to connect to another consciousness. I work this way with humans and animals.
 

Athematici

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2012
Messages
7
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx
#1. I do communicate with my eyes, when someone does manage to cheese me right off, I can't help but focus all my digust on them--and then it's like I'm seeing their eyes up close--and as soon as we make eye contact they look quite worried despite having been agressive a second ago...

This actually happens with me all the time, too. Especially with my friend John, an INTP/ESTJ, if it matters. He tends to be zealous over me if I give attention to a third party we may be socializing with. If I am lavishing a third partisan with attention or affection, he, on the smaller magnitude of incidences, outright tells me to stop flirting with her. If he's aware I'm prone to be physically affectionate with a particular girl, he becomes physically interceptive... with me. Often in an embarrassing manner, much so, that on many occasions I have actually had to physically agress him (although I do my best not to actually injure him) to get him to stop. He gets pervasive in the sense that I think he doesn't acknowledge he's not the only person I socialize with, at least not subconsciously.

Windy preamble aside, he once expressed to me the fact that I actually frighten or worry him sometimes, in that when I become annoyed with his impulse to be physically disruptive, I've given him a look he's gone so far as to describe it with "If looks could kill, your eyes would be WMDs."

After seeing what others on this thread attribute to the shadow flipping, it makes a lot more sense to me.
 
Top