[ISFP] The Official Nobody Hates ISFPs Thread

[Glycerine]

ISFPs are so darn cool! They are one of the types that tend to relax me the most.

 

[Skyline]

If you think I am wrong, think that..I am not going to change my mind. If you think there is some validity in what I say, well that is fine too..YOu are not here to all agree with me, BUT I did make you think a bit...it made you uncomfortable sometimes, didn't it? That was supposed to happen...In life, I have learned that most people tend to ride the white line, no questions, dont ask, don't ponder, not really challenge the status quo. WEll, us entp's have this need to question these things...

I feel your need and I I KNOW this is an essential part of Being.
Every person focuses on other sides when questioning issues, and I guess you've come to question the things some isfp's or other f's are vulnerable for (or aren't even aware of!!), yet this is not a bad thing at all. I've come to realize that persons are also mechanisms and are shaped and can be bent all the time and that there is no need for running and we are all able to comperehend each other if we try [which is one of the reasons I like mbti/socionics] ... and we're all supposed to be here.
Maybe in return F's tend to question some of your Ne Ti ways and comment on the (lack of) ethical side of it ;-) LOL
(just trying the give and return thing *another typical aspect as I've read*)

I do believe that the things I mentioned are REAL, they just aren't the totality of isfp's....I dont' belive these are all isfp's, but they do represent tendencies. Lastly, and this is for the LAST TIME...type theory is on a continum...YOU can NEVER say that any type ALWAYS does somethign or ALWAYS does NOT do something.. More than a few times on this forum have i seen this type of reaction...All of you are being extremely unfair to both yourselves and other when you say that ALL INTJ's are such and such..The older I get the more I am sure that you must consider childhood, development, parents, schooling, geography, adolescence and beyond in order to truly assess an individual...all the uniqueness of an individual cannot be encapsulated by MBTI....it never will..

Thanks for pointing that out, I needed to hear that. Because I really dislike generalizations myself.

I guess it's good to say that there are all kinds of isfp's, just like there are all kinds of people, every individual sees things from their own point of view... but I must say, today some of the things you listed there, mister Pecan111, popped into my head again and they reminded me of some of my own personal weaknesses.

I felt a bit insecure today due to some reason, and I noticed how I mostly tend to close myself off or not verbalize myself enough towards people, ESpecially these moments where I feel unsure about things... so when I'm rly insecure I feel like I kind of need a guiding pace or just some damn self assuredness and security luckily this has gone better lately. That's what I'm trying to create/have for myself in my life. And it does not require being dependent of other people, even though my emotions can be strong for them. I feel like it's been too much chaos for me with people sometimes =) =) all these emotions make me wanna cryy lol
Sometimes I fear "I won't be loved (back)", which is a bad statement for; sometimes I fear people won't care the same way as I do. I have a very particular emotional way of caring and I can 'feel' people pretty well once I get to know them. It's hard for me to ignore the emotions I feel for them, and I hope I will get the same amount of Energy in return. I don't care in what form it comes, I just hope they will love me back in some way.
If they don't... they're just not worth being friends with. or trustees. or...whatever,you get the picture.
Some people are simply better kept on a distance, for my own emotional good (Is it a weakness to be vulnerable like this? maybe T's can answer to this), and I've learned it's important to draw a line between things and distinguish all kinds of relationships. So that I also 'know' "how much (not) to care".
I'm trying to figure out some of the experiences I've had with this. ... *contemplates a bit*
Can some of you guys relate or respond to this???

Pecan, I agree (as you see) that what you've written does make me think. *Hooray, you have succeeded being an entp*

 

[wolfy]

I can relate to closing off at times Skyline.

 

[Skyline]

yea I feel very restricted sometimes compared to E's or something..

 

[Skyline]

Another thing considering Pecan's post:
I think it's possible to be an isfp without fear and with the capacity of standing up for themselves around other people...
And such issues might also be related to immaturity , or feeling depressed , or something else.

 

[riel]

Peace to all !!

 

[ColonelGadaafi]

I love my cousins .

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I never would have thought "unhateable" applied to ISFP, had I not read it in this thread!

My friends wife and one of her friends are ISFP, and..

-They don't get jokes
-serious and unfun
-scared of people, my friends wife (A) being the one able to confront her fears
-gloomy view on life
-untalkative
-avoidant of anything not specifically "sensitive"
-often sensitive to the point of ludicrosity, attributing negative and harsh qualities to inanimate, neutral objects and those associated with them.. EXAMPLE: "his cloths have such an inconsiderate 'vibe' to them, he must be an inconsiderate person"
-sometimes little more than just a living clothes hanger for their clothes
-everything is about "vibe", "feel" and "look", world is about everything that "don't match" to the mood, style, feel, occasion, etc.. and every unmatching thing in the world is to be suffered in full

 

[Haphazard]

I love ISFPs.

They're the only ones I can hug without them thinking I'm really trying to strangle them.

So sweet.

 

[maliafee]

I can't find the post! What did Pecan even say, originally?

pecan, it would take me awhile to go through that line by line (and I'm way too lazy ) but you certainly did hit on some of the negative traits I have seen in myself. Some of what you put there I don't think is at all specific to ISFPs and some things you pretty much said we can be either side of.

I feel like I am a very approachable person and a likeable person, and somebody who will be open and honest with you and share of myself whatever you want me to. But I do realize that sometimes I expect another person to make an effort to get to know me when I don't always make that effort myself. I am getting better about this, asking questions of people and really listening and trying to understand people and not always expect them to be the ones that reach out to me. It is hard, though. I feel like most of my life I have always had to be the one to keep relationships going, that other people don't keep in touch with me, don't invite me to things, and assume I don't care about anything, even though I do care deeply.

"-want to be liked and loved but won't risk intimately alot of the time"

Yeah, that one jumped out at me, too. I think once you have been told by more than one person "I love you and I'll always be there for you" and then betrayed, it starts to become hard to trust people. When my parents were divorcing, they would tell me contradicting things where one of them had to be lying to me. It's a sucky realization when you are faced with knowing one or both of your parents, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, are lying to you. I guess I am hurt pretty easily, but I have learned to embrace the pain as well as the pleasure, because every feeling is just as valid and just as necessary to fully experience life.

And all this reading about personality types in the last year has made me more aware than ever of my own flaws. I've found myself retroactively apologizing for not just myself but for other people of my type for acting the same childish unreasonable way sometimes. But I have to also give myself some credit for the efforts that I have made. I think I've become a better listener, and a better companion in general, because I am not just observing for my own amusement, but actually try to consciously learn from it.

 

[Jeffster]

My friends wife and one of her friends are ISFP, and..

-They don't get jokes
-serious and unfun
-scared of people, my friends wife (A) being the one able to confront her fears
-gloomy view on life
-untalkative
-avoidant of anything not specifically "sensitive"
-often sensitive to the point of ludicrosity, attributing negative and harsh qualities to inanimate, neutral objects and those associated with them.. EXAMPLE: "his cloths have such an inconsiderate 'vibe' to them, he must be an inconsiderate person"
-sometimes little more than just a living clothes hanger for their clothes
-everything is about "vibe", "feel" and "look", world is about everything that "don't match" to the mood, style, feel, occasion, etc.. and every unmatching thing in the world is to be suffered in full

Most of that doesn't sound like ISFPs at all, what makes you think they fit the type?

 

[maliafee]

FOUND A WAY TO RESPOND TO PECAN, HOORAY...

Okay, I also copied Quinlan. We ISFPs love to share, right Quinlan? ;-)

FIrst of all I want to say that I was typed 27 years ago and I have known quite a few ISFP's in my life. I also have a brother that is one..These are the types of things I see in them.

1-They either tend to look all soft and all, but I call it "the Great Sadness"...this version seems to be so depressed and scared and have some form of anxiety that permeates their personalities

2-The other version tends to be very deadpan( they may be less preferential towards "F", not sure), but they can be very funny, but can cause enormous pain with others.

I can be both ways... I've tested INTP or ISTP before but I've also been like #1 when my life is really stressful...


Version 2 is the type I can't deal with anymore. Some of the reasons why follow.
-refuse to state their feelings and allow others to GUESS all the time. I do think some of them live in a world of FEAR that keeps them frozen all the time.

I'm afraid of ghosts and the dark. Annoying, right?

-expect others to JUST KNOW how they feel and give it to them(think this is a trait of feelers in general)

I do not assume anyone knows how I feel or cares that much, which is why when pressed I tend to overexplain my feelings but never get it out right. I always feel misunderstood in this regard and wish I'd never opened my mouth when I try to explain these things...

-are hurt when they dont' receive what they expect, but you will pay absolute hell getting it out of them

getting out of them... what they expect? It's called a direct question. Try it.

-conflict avoidant to the MAX and extreme (have a great friend whose son REFUSED to even sit down and talk to him about some issues going on in the household)

This depends. I hate conflict, but conflict is sometimes forced on me and I do get pretty angry, and completely Te. But you know, it's over in seconds.

-will put things and DOGS, especially, OVER people

Look. Some people get really offended by the whole "pets over people" thing. But as animals cannot speak or defend themselves, I think a lot of people might feel they deserve more protection/deference than a person who is capable of A)taking care of themselves and B)standing up for themselves. That said, I do put people over pets, mostly...

-will want a lot of weekend breaks, usually outdoors, BUT you must figure out that they supposedly want to spend time with you, BUT what I really think is that they want to experience nature AND not people.

This is a weird statement. Everyone likes to pursue their favorite activities. Just because they want to experience nature (with or without you) is not inherently a negative. Jeez.

-(sorry, but its true a lot of the time)--LAZY!!!!, unmotivated

Lazy if it's what YOU want me to do, completely industrious/hardworking if it's what I want to do or feel I have to do for the betterment of me or my family... like Quinlan said, "practical purposes." Why should I do what YOU want? I think other types are just jealous they can't relax as well as us, hehe...

-can't seem to understand that people will disappoint, BUT that they DISAPPOINT deeply

On the contrary, I think ISFPs can be disappointed badly when they don't get to do the fun thing they were excited about -- but it's not that they're mad at the PEOPLE, specifically. They expect people to be themselves and that includes disappointing. We assume everyone does. Which is why we hope others aren't needily clinging to the idea that we will be providing their entertainment (not disappointing?).

-pay lipservice and will not follow thru- in other words, can be adroit liars and superficial people

So can anyone. Especially sociopaths.

-STILL waters DO NOT run deep

Sociopaths can be any type, are you sure you don't know an ISFP one? Also, don't judge based on ONE ISFP, (I'm hoping you're not doing that as you said at the top). ISFPs take things very seriously internally and have complex emotions. Just because we don't lie around philosophizing day and night doesn't mean we are not "deep."

-good at being quiet, BUT NOT LISTENING...boy, this happens all the time.

Listening is really hard for me at times. I am TRYING.

-want to be liked and loved but won't risk intimately alot of the time

Like we're alone in this?

-can be either good or LOUSy lovers

I'm an amazing lover. Haha...

-deadpan and boring-poker face to the max and you just can't get a feel for where they are at all.

Boring?! Well, guess what? If you concern yourself more with YOURSELF you will stop expecting us to emote so often in the way that you want to see/expect.

-can be emotionally very dead once they give up, which you will likely never know because they won't tell you.

You got me there.

-can be very selfish with their THINGS, but won't share themselves with others

I share my things constantly. Did you mean to say "unselfish"?
And as far as sharing myself goes, that just feels bad, except in rare circumstances. I can converse with someone and hear their life story and realize at the end that they know NOTHING about me.

-terrible at verbal communication

Sometimes the words feel like they're stuck. That said, I do feel I'm a good writer, if you don't count essays that require boring and tedious research.

-i have known a few that were CHEATERS and very disloyal- others that were very loyal and were faithful

So, everybody on earth? And I am loyal/faithful to a fault. Would NEVER cheat.

-have terrible attitudes about money...just either won't budget or won't compromise.

I've tried to budget but I can't stick to it. I'm pretty cheap unless I'm putting money into a project I'm working on or I want to do something nice for someone. So what?

-NEED kindness from others, but when you ask for something specific from them, they won't be kind in return.

What? I have trouble saying no to requests for favors.


-can have serious issues with using others and lying

Again, sociopath?

-won't fight for what is right or valued, will NOT stand up for family or anyone for that matter, but boy try and say no to their latest "toy" want

I will stand up for family, and good friends, fiercely. I admit I have trouble being denied my fun, though.

-will refuse to apologize for hurts they caused, but boy, you sure are expected to bend for them

I definitely apologize to a fault. I cannot bear to do something wrong and not apologize and/or rectify the situation.

--sometimes strive for this inner ideal but won't care to do the work necessary to understand the monetary or social cost. they will decide this on a moment's notice sometimes and then expect you to foot the bill.

Huh?

-some are extremely insecure, but this is true with all types

...

-can make themselves sick because of the avoidance tendencies.

Wow, yes.

--and lastly, they can absolutely HATE someone, but they will remain invisible and without opinion bec. they want you to think they actually like you!, when they don't- after all, who hates the UN-opinioned?

I typically run from people thinking I like them and tend to try to downplay this when someone confronts me with the idea (Do you like so and so? etc...) <--romantically. In general, I don't want to seem needy so I try to not be too effusive with how much I care for a friend. If I dislike someone, I just get all quiet and mumbly. I can turn on the fake charm if I absolutely am required to, but it takes everything out of me.

 

[BlackCat]

I mean sure you can complain and bicker all you want about someone who just happens to be ISFP, but that doesn't mean that they are all like that. If you're in the mind set of "Oh, this guy is like this, so EVERY ONE OF THEM must be like this!" then you have some issues. Anything is possible, don't just judge. Be open minded. Find a healthy one and one who has a lot of good qualities, someone who you can relate to and talk to. What I've done is I've asked about some of the people who are the same type as the person I'm talking to, I ask what their motive might be behind what they do. It helps hearing it from someone who's mature, they will usually have a response like "ahh they might be trying to do this." This helps in understanding where exactly someone is coming from, then when you know that you will know how to fix your issues with them for the most part.

Typology is a tool for understanding people, not for judging people.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Most of that doesn't sound like ISFPs at all, what makes you think they fit the type?

-They spend most of their time thinking about food, furniture, cloth and art, visibly enjoying how it makes them Feel... thinkers can do that, too, but they're not a bit harsh, T-like, just very very open to feel all kinds of tastes, etc. They've got no projects or hobbies not exclusively devoted to maximize feeling sensation. SF.
-Their body image (friends wife yes, her friend not so much) visibly shows their interest and excitement on the subjects. SP.
-Quiet, talking a bit, if at all, in company. When talking, it's about taste, look, feel, etc. Follow people in company, only rarely contradicting anyone.. shy, or ultra shy, to the point of being mute. Friends's wife wants much more alone time than my ENFJ friend. The other person is just worried of dressing immaculately, eating and listening when other people are present. I.

Okay, a low low chance for friends wife to be N, but I don't really believe in it. Some chance of her being J, but too unfocused and non-achiever for that, really.

Her friend, low chance of being T or J, less spontaneous and more nervous.

They do enjoy the things said, so they DO have fun; they're just unfun outside that particular scope of interest. Unfun to me, for example, as I don't share their taste in almost anything.. they made some good food last time, though.

 

[Quinlan]

shy, or ultra shy, to the point of being mute.

If that is true, I don't think it would be very possible for anyone other than themselves to type them accurately. Shyness is unrelated to type and can severely distort our expectations when typing others.

Although in saying that, they could be ISFPs, I wouldn't expect an ENTJ to understand or share many interests with ISFPs, their preferences are opposite afterall.

 

[maliafee]

Some people aren't very smart, regardless of type, and SOMETIMES, just sometimes, that can influence the way they either do or do not get humor. That said, S's can take things too literally at times... The S's I know, the intelligent ones, get all sorts of humor.

 

[Bubbles]

Erm...this post, here, confuzzled me:

-They don't get jokes

Not true, the ISFPs I know make me laugh like no one but an ENFP can.

-serious and unfun

Look above.

-scared of people, my friends wife (A) being the one able to confront her fears

Really? They're shy, but they're not scared of people; they're pretty friendly peeps.

-gloomy view on life

I've been given many a pep talk by an ISFP.

-untalkative

Only when they're still in their shell. If you bring them out, they don't shut up.

-avoidant of anything not specifically "sensitive"

I can't say I've noticed this.

-often sensitive to the point of ludicrosity, attributing negative and harsh qualities to inanimate, neutral objects and those associated with them.. EXAMPLE: "his cloths have such an inconsiderate 'vibe' to them, he must be an inconsiderate person"

People are so down on sensitivity! Isn't sensitivity a beautiful thing? I'd rather be with a sensitive person than an unfeeling blob any day. They have such unique views of the world.

-sometimes little more than just a living clothes hanger for their clothes

That's harsh. Are you saying they're not goodlooking, or that they're the shy people who blend in with the wall? I'd disagree with both--unless the ISFP is being painfully shy. But in my experience, ISFPs are the most extroverted I's.

-everything is about "vibe", "feel" and "look", world is about everything that "don't match" to the mood, style, feel, occasion, etc.. and every unmatching thing in the world is to be suffered in full

Suffered, I dunno. But ISFPs have a marvelous gift for design--at least in the ones I've seen. Very cohesive and beautiful, out-of-the-box and clever. I like that about them.

Sorry, just had to address that...

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Erm...this post, here, confuzzled me:

-They don't get jokes

Not true, the ISFPs I know make me laugh like no one but an ENFP can.

They tell about some things they consider "pleasurable", intended to make the listener feel good, but they tell no jokes. Okay. I heard my friends wife tell something funny once, and I laughed at it. It wasn't a joke tho, but a story from real life. It was intended as funny, so that's partial score for her.

-serious and unfun

I guess they how there are serious and deep feelings to be had everywhere, everything is sacred, and jokes in essence offend the Deep Feelings someone might have. They Feel a lot yes. In part, it's a good quality; they're not prepared to have fun at anyone's expense, for the most part.

-scared of people, my friends wife (A) being the one able to confront her fears

Really? They're shy, but they're not scared of people; they're pretty friendly peeps.

Okay, might have been overexaggeration on my part.

-gloomy view on life

I've been given many a pep talk by an ISFP.

My view of them as "serious" is based on their desire to maintain "honor", and an image of silent, sad beauty and non-communication. It gives me sad feelings; perhaps that's why I've said them to have a sad view of life. Might be untrue.

-untalkative

Only when they're still in their shell. If you bring them out, they don't shut up.

I can understand it might take a while. I don't think this is that bad for them at the time, tho. I mean, my friends wife does talk a bit, tho she seems to be afraid to say meaningfull stuff tho. Can be age thing as opposed to type thing, too, at least partly; she's 22, we're 30. Ok.

I can see my error. It's apples to oranges comparison; we see them sometimes, but they're way younger. Makes my post almost irrelevant, too. Not completely, though. Some aspects of personality stay from the age of 22 to 30, and further.

-avoidant of anything not specifically "sensitive"

I can't say I've noticed this.

Might be personal bias, as I'm okay with some polite rudeness, considering it practically neutral.

-often sensitive to the point of ludicrosity, attributing negative and harsh qualities to inanimate, neutral objects and those associated with them.. EXAMPLE: "his cloths have such an inconsiderate 'vibe' to them, he must be an inconsiderate person"

People are so down on sensitivity! Isn't sensitivity a beautiful thing? I'd rather be with a sensitive person than an unfeeling blob any day. They have such unique views of the world.

This is more of intuitive interpretation on my part. I'm not sure if I can begin to describe this part. Okay, here's a great example: there are too many others.. I tell just one. Not too many years ago I read an opinion from a feminist. She wrote that "every woman who feels they have been harassed sexually, have (actually) been harassed sexually."

So, the opinion piece asserted that subjective, sensitive feeling is a matter of fact. For example, someone walks in in a masculine way, oh that's almost rape. Someone lights a cigarette in a non-smoking area? Well that's warfare, the winning party expressing his dominance over the conquered land area. etc.

Ok. I gave many examples, the last 2 fictive. I don't really know who's behind the most ridiculous overstatements in sensitivity and interpretation, but ISFP seems like a good candidate.

Now that I think of it, I'm not sure if such sensitive exxaggerations express N more than S, or the other way around. Shrug. I still don't think I like the neurotic imagination of an ISFP.

-sometimes little more than just a living clothes hanger for their clothes

That's harsh. Are you saying they're not goodlooking, or that they're the shy people who blend in with the wall? I'd disagree with both--unless the ISFP is being painfully shy. But in my experience, ISFPs are the most extroverted I's.

Sorry. I was disappointed when tried to open up the conversation with the person B the first time, with her dismissing my company a short while after I told some joke she might have thought of as offensive. Really, it was far from that. Moreover, I made myself the butt of the joke.

Still, I know the type who just likes to appear in parties, making themselves visible, while not interacting in any way.

-everything is about "vibe", "feel" and "look", world is about everything that "don't match" to the mood, style, feel, occasion, etc.. and every unmatching thing in the world is to be suffered in full

Suffered, I dunno. But ISFPs have a marvelous gift for design--at least in the ones I've seen. Very cohesive and beautiful, out-of-the-box and clever. I like that about them.

Sorry, just had to address that...

[/QUOTE]
The two of them just seem to paint an awfully superficial world view. Everything is just surface and appearance to be enjoyed or suffer with one's two eyes. A place of high education is spoiled by the "ugly" paint job on the corridors. Someone's leadership seems little judged by the way he keeps his hair. Etc.

As said, perhaps an issue of age. Still, I'm no fan of the type. I've got some curiosity for them, though, like I'd have for aliens in UFO's or something

 

[maliafee]

I don't think those people are ISFPs, Santtu... I mean, it's possible, but unlikely.

 

[BlackCat]

So what if they're ISFP maliafee? Just know that you don't suck as a representation of them and know that there are some idiots and immature people out there, who are of all types.

You can get over your differences with your opposite. ESTJs are great friends for me. Try and do it with ISFPs Santtu, what's stopping you?