JenniferCheck
New member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2020
- Messages
- 32
- MBTI Type
- ISTP
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- so
Hey. I know that there are other threads about ISTP women but the ones i found were really old and none of them seemed to be mainly focused on dating as an ISTP or an ESTP woman. They were way too general ("What are ISTP women like?" and et cetera). So i decided to create one.
I am still quite young (23 years old) but dating seems so... unnatural for my personality. And i kind of feel like I've wasted my teenage and young adult years in a sense because i missed my chance to explore how relationships/intimacy work when i had less responsibility and much more free time back in high school and at the beginning of university. I've almost completed my computer science degree and am probably going to be employed soon so it'd be even harder for me to meet potential partners since I'd be spending a lot of time at work and so on. And i know for sure that i'd never date someone that i go to work with because if we break up i wouldn't want to deal with the potential drama at the workplace.
ESTP women probably have an easier time with dating overall because of how extroverted they are for the most part. But there's still this emotional detachment that is more or less present in all female thinker types have which throws many men off since we're supposed to be the "sensitive, sweet, emotional and feminine" ones in the relationship. So i was wondering what fellow xSTP women think about this? People that have a good understanding of Jungian typology and/or know xSTP women, especially ISTPs can of course feel free to add to the conversation.
From one perspective, i like living in the moment and in the sensory world and i am slightly thrill-seeking too so i can be really seductive and fun around people that i really like and know well. But on the other hand my Fe is inferior and i hate social interaction and getting to know people overall. So most people never get to meet the more fun, carefree side of me. And at least ESTP's Fe is their 3rd function so i suppose they have a slightly easier time connecting to people and being emotionally vulnerable, which would make it easier for their wild and sexy Se-ish nature to be brought out so they have the advantage of being capable to potentially be really sexual.
Not saying that they're promiscuous or whatever, but that maybe they have an easier time connecting to someone enough that they'd be willing to sleep with them and that they probably have an easier time with attracting men through their sexual openness and extroversion. Whereas us ISTPs are for the most part way too aloof and "tough". We're hard to get to know and even harder to be emotionally close to so that sex and romance can follow unless your an ISTP that's into one night stands. It's obviously possible because of our strong Se usage and love for all things sensory but more rare i think because of our Fe inferior. I'm sure that male ISTPs are more into casual sex compared to ISTP women.
The only people that are truly familiar with the more "fun and wild" side of me are the only female girl friend that i have (i tend to trigger jealousy in and intimidate most women, my friend's an ENTP) and a good ENFP male friend of mine who lives in a different country. It took me my whole life to essentially find 2 people that i can actually call friends although i wouldn't say that I'm awfully close to them either. We usually call/text only about once a week, sometimes once every two weeks. So how could i possibly open up enough to have an intimate and/or romantic relationship with someone? I don't want to dramatize but it seems incredibly far-fetched, almost completely impossible.
I know that i'm still young and that i have my whole life ahead of me but my personality won't really change overnight, even if i end up becoming more quote-in-qupte mature and slightly more social as i grow older. I don't mean to brag/put myself on a pedestal but objectively speaking, i'm really good looking. My eyes are blue, my hair is jet black. I have a tiny nose, big lips and almond eyes. I essentially look like a stereotypical IG model/bimbo which probably gives me an advantage over other ISTP women because it kind of compensates for my abnormal emotional detachment and my aloofness. But even though men are physically attracted to me, they have no idea how to interact with me.
Whenever a man starts getting to know me, there's almost always an extreme personality clash. I look like a bimbo so they expect me to be a bimbo too. I'd say that i have a really sophisticated yet sassy, femme fatale-ish clothing style (a.k.a. my attire is much more "feminine" than casual Western woman's) so men always expect me to be very stereotypically feminine too. I'd say that I'm very nerdy and overall knowledgeable in tons of different topics and subjects so i believe that I'd be a good match for "nerdy" and intellectual type of men but they're usually the ones that idiotically write me off as vain and dumb solely based on my physical appearance without ever having talked to me so they never really actually get to know me. Even when i don't have the whole "femme fatale" look on. In high school i used to dress really casually but people always categorized me as the "stupid mean girl" before even meeting me, without even interacting with me because of my looks.
I suppose that only very masculine men and brave men would be able to be in a relationship with me. On one hand i am somewhat masculine in my thinking and behavior so most people would instinctually suggest that more sensitive and slightly less masculine feeler men would suit me more so that we could balance each other out. But that would be the case only if i felt the need to take the more masculine, agressive role in relationships. I might not be ultra girly, emotional and submissive but I've never felt the need to dominate men either. Having a guy walk around me like a puppy and ordering him around isn't appealing to me. I know that everyone's different and i don't look down upon women that fit this category but it's simply not my thing.
I probably need to be with someone that can stimulate me intellectually (which is a hard task to begin with) and someone that's masculine enough so that their manliness won't be threatened by my presence, mind and behavior. And these types of super masculine men usually seek ultra-feminine women. So they'd need to be also looking for a smart and intellectually stimulating partner specifically. It'd be relatively hard to find a man with these three traits alone. What about physical appearance and social status?
I am not a vain woman, it's not like i'll turn down a man unless they look like a Calvin Klein model and a they're a fortune 500 CEO. And once again, i really don't want to sound like an asshole but i'm very attractive and once i start working my salary would be somewhat high. So i wouldn't really want to settle someone who's objectively ugly and still lives in their mom's basement. I expect to date someone who's at least average-looking and has their own job, place, car and fits all of the categories i already talked about above (masculine but not intimidated by women that aren't overly-feminine, someone who's looking for an intellectually stimulating partner). I suppose you can already tell why finding a partner would be incredibly hard for me.
Older men (10-15 or even 20 years older) are fine in my book so maybe it'd be better for me to give it a try with someone older. But even then, the idea of me being affectionate and emotionally vulnerable with someone sounds comedic. After i graduated high school i made a promise to myself to at least try to be more open-minded as far as dating and social interaction overall goes. But I'm still the highly emotionally detached, asocial and slightly misanthropic person that i've always been. I don't think that i'll be ever able to completely change. And if i need to be honest, i'm slightly worried that i'll end up being alone forever. I am honestly somewhat fine with it because i've always been a lone wolf and i have a preference for being on my own. But there's still a part of me that longs for a potential connection with someone anyways. And it's really conflicting. The world of dating and socializing has always been a mystery to me.
I am still quite young (23 years old) but dating seems so... unnatural for my personality. And i kind of feel like I've wasted my teenage and young adult years in a sense because i missed my chance to explore how relationships/intimacy work when i had less responsibility and much more free time back in high school and at the beginning of university. I've almost completed my computer science degree and am probably going to be employed soon so it'd be even harder for me to meet potential partners since I'd be spending a lot of time at work and so on. And i know for sure that i'd never date someone that i go to work with because if we break up i wouldn't want to deal with the potential drama at the workplace.
ESTP women probably have an easier time with dating overall because of how extroverted they are for the most part. But there's still this emotional detachment that is more or less present in all female thinker types have which throws many men off since we're supposed to be the "sensitive, sweet, emotional and feminine" ones in the relationship. So i was wondering what fellow xSTP women think about this? People that have a good understanding of Jungian typology and/or know xSTP women, especially ISTPs can of course feel free to add to the conversation.
From one perspective, i like living in the moment and in the sensory world and i am slightly thrill-seeking too so i can be really seductive and fun around people that i really like and know well. But on the other hand my Fe is inferior and i hate social interaction and getting to know people overall. So most people never get to meet the more fun, carefree side of me. And at least ESTP's Fe is their 3rd function so i suppose they have a slightly easier time connecting to people and being emotionally vulnerable, which would make it easier for their wild and sexy Se-ish nature to be brought out so they have the advantage of being capable to potentially be really sexual.
Not saying that they're promiscuous or whatever, but that maybe they have an easier time connecting to someone enough that they'd be willing to sleep with them and that they probably have an easier time with attracting men through their sexual openness and extroversion. Whereas us ISTPs are for the most part way too aloof and "tough". We're hard to get to know and even harder to be emotionally close to so that sex and romance can follow unless your an ISTP that's into one night stands. It's obviously possible because of our strong Se usage and love for all things sensory but more rare i think because of our Fe inferior. I'm sure that male ISTPs are more into casual sex compared to ISTP women.
The only people that are truly familiar with the more "fun and wild" side of me are the only female girl friend that i have (i tend to trigger jealousy in and intimidate most women, my friend's an ENTP) and a good ENFP male friend of mine who lives in a different country. It took me my whole life to essentially find 2 people that i can actually call friends although i wouldn't say that I'm awfully close to them either. We usually call/text only about once a week, sometimes once every two weeks. So how could i possibly open up enough to have an intimate and/or romantic relationship with someone? I don't want to dramatize but it seems incredibly far-fetched, almost completely impossible.
I know that i'm still young and that i have my whole life ahead of me but my personality won't really change overnight, even if i end up becoming more quote-in-qupte mature and slightly more social as i grow older. I don't mean to brag/put myself on a pedestal but objectively speaking, i'm really good looking. My eyes are blue, my hair is jet black. I have a tiny nose, big lips and almond eyes. I essentially look like a stereotypical IG model/bimbo which probably gives me an advantage over other ISTP women because it kind of compensates for my abnormal emotional detachment and my aloofness. But even though men are physically attracted to me, they have no idea how to interact with me.
Whenever a man starts getting to know me, there's almost always an extreme personality clash. I look like a bimbo so they expect me to be a bimbo too. I'd say that i have a really sophisticated yet sassy, femme fatale-ish clothing style (a.k.a. my attire is much more "feminine" than casual Western woman's) so men always expect me to be very stereotypically feminine too. I'd say that I'm very nerdy and overall knowledgeable in tons of different topics and subjects so i believe that I'd be a good match for "nerdy" and intellectual type of men but they're usually the ones that idiotically write me off as vain and dumb solely based on my physical appearance without ever having talked to me so they never really actually get to know me. Even when i don't have the whole "femme fatale" look on. In high school i used to dress really casually but people always categorized me as the "stupid mean girl" before even meeting me, without even interacting with me because of my looks.
I suppose that only very masculine men and brave men would be able to be in a relationship with me. On one hand i am somewhat masculine in my thinking and behavior so most people would instinctually suggest that more sensitive and slightly less masculine feeler men would suit me more so that we could balance each other out. But that would be the case only if i felt the need to take the more masculine, agressive role in relationships. I might not be ultra girly, emotional and submissive but I've never felt the need to dominate men either. Having a guy walk around me like a puppy and ordering him around isn't appealing to me. I know that everyone's different and i don't look down upon women that fit this category but it's simply not my thing.
I probably need to be with someone that can stimulate me intellectually (which is a hard task to begin with) and someone that's masculine enough so that their manliness won't be threatened by my presence, mind and behavior. And these types of super masculine men usually seek ultra-feminine women. So they'd need to be also looking for a smart and intellectually stimulating partner specifically. It'd be relatively hard to find a man with these three traits alone. What about physical appearance and social status?
I am not a vain woman, it's not like i'll turn down a man unless they look like a Calvin Klein model and a they're a fortune 500 CEO. And once again, i really don't want to sound like an asshole but i'm very attractive and once i start working my salary would be somewhat high. So i wouldn't really want to settle someone who's objectively ugly and still lives in their mom's basement. I expect to date someone who's at least average-looking and has their own job, place, car and fits all of the categories i already talked about above (masculine but not intimidated by women that aren't overly-feminine, someone who's looking for an intellectually stimulating partner). I suppose you can already tell why finding a partner would be incredibly hard for me.
Older men (10-15 or even 20 years older) are fine in my book so maybe it'd be better for me to give it a try with someone older. But even then, the idea of me being affectionate and emotionally vulnerable with someone sounds comedic. After i graduated high school i made a promise to myself to at least try to be more open-minded as far as dating and social interaction overall goes. But I'm still the highly emotionally detached, asocial and slightly misanthropic person that i've always been. I don't think that i'll be ever able to completely change. And if i need to be honest, i'm slightly worried that i'll end up being alone forever. I am honestly somewhat fine with it because i've always been a lone wolf and i have a preference for being on my own. But there's still a part of me that longs for a potential connection with someone anyways. And it's really conflicting. The world of dating and socializing has always been a mystery to me.
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