[ESTP] How do you deal with ESTPs?

[Halla74]

...I think I'll bag Berbs and you guys can bag each other...that should be interesting to watch

Denied. Stellar and I will go the local university and persuade the girl's volleyball team to come to a BBQ at our house. Then we put on our referee shirts and have the girls mud wrestle, charging all neighbors a spectator fee of course. Then we jump in the pool with girls to clean off and with our hard earned cash take the two cutest ones to a local rave. That sounds good to me.

Let's go Stellar!

 

[BerberElla]

Denied. Stellar and I will go the local university and persuade the girl's volleyball team to come to a BBQ at our house. Then we put on our referee shirts and have the girls mud wrestle, charging all neighbors a spectator fee of course. Then we jump in the pool with girls to clean off and with our hard earned cash take the two cutest ones to a local rave. That sounds good to me.

Let's go Stellar!

Wait, I didn't get an invite to the enjoy all those sexy girls too?

I'm gutted Halla, I am truly hurt. I thought we had a connection.

Ok, even better, me and amar will come, and steal even them away from you, we will go raving, and you and steller can hug each other in commiseration, for about 5 seconds before you come and join us for a super wild party lol.

 

[Halla74]

Wait, I didn't get an invite to the enjoy all those sexy girls too?

I'm gutted Halla, I am truly hurt. I thought we had a connection.

Ok, even better, me and amar will come, and steal even them away from you, we will go raving, and you and steller can hug each other in commiseration, for about 5 seconds before you come and join us for a super wild party lol.

Berbsy don't cry!

If either yor plan OR mine comes to fruition, I'm OK.

I'll revise my plan so you and Amargith can come to the party as mud wrestling referees and after we collect the cash from the spectators we all gop raving.

There.

Now EVERYBODY wins...as it should be when dealing with an ESTP.

 

[BerberElla]

Berbsy don't cry!

If either yor plan OR mine comes to fruition, I'm OK.

I'll revise my plan so you and Amargith can come to the party as mud wrestling referees and after we collect the cash from the spectators we all gop raving.

There.

Now EVERYBODY wins...as it should be when dealing with an ESTP.

You are an impressive man Halla, whatever you say, I'm game.

 

[wolfy]

Halla, I'm pissed you didn't invite me.

 

[Halla74]

You are an impressive man Halla, whatever you say, I'm game.

Now THAT is a HUGE compliment. Always at your service, Berbsy!

Halla, I'm pissed you didn't invite me.

DUDE! You are the bartender! You get first contact with the guests. If you get bored behind the bar you can swap with me in the DJ booth. How's that?

C'mon, give a Brother some credit!

 

[Amargith]

Berbs..I saw an ISTP lurking about...wanna go hunting?

Halla, is it allowed to bring more STP hotties to the BBQ? I'd love for a male mudwrestling match to take place too...

 

[wolfy]

DUDE! You are the bartender! You get first contact with the guests. If you get bored behind the bar you can swap with me in the DJ booth. How's that?

C'mon, give a Brother some credit!

Cheers! I'll never get bored behind a bar.

 

[stellar renegade]

Halla, you are a genius. How do you do it?

Signed,
Stellar

 

[onemoretime]

Now THAT is a HUGE compliment. Always at your service, Berbsy!



DUDE! You are the bartender! You get first contact with the guests. If you get bored behind the bar you can swap with me in the DJ booth. How's that?

C'mon, give a Brother some credit!

WTF I'm traveling over two days and this happens? Damn I need to pay attention. Or stop drinking so much. The joys of the road trip (when stopped, of course ).

 

[jonathanbenitez27]

I guess what I mean by that is you may think you are "dealing" with an ESTP but in they end they are uncomprimising, stubborn, self validating individuals, who always consider themselves right beceause they honestly believe they are right and if they aren't they simply blow it off as they dont care. It is what it is. They will accept any viewpoint that is contredictory as insignificant to themselves and will continue to do as they please without hessitation and without contemplation of their actions. Should you pose a threat to an ESTP you will be stricktly banned and considered the enemy who threatens their existance. I guess what I am saying is that they will play along if there is something for them, and if not they couldn't give two shits about making it known they were only for themselves. I've had a bad run with ESTPs as well so I can say that my view may be biased but ultimatly, I'm just glad I moved.

.
Either you have something against Estps or you've only had bad experiences with us. With our uncanny ability to detect changed behavior, we are actually very compromising to the people we actually care about, but I will agree that we can be stubborn, and everyone validates themselves all in different levels its called "self esteem." As far as posing a threat we Estps enjoy the idea of a challenge because it puts our skills to the test whether its sports, a rivalry, etc. at the end of the day ladies and gents, there's the good and bad of every personality type. However, I will say that young estps do require some patience and molding because of our tendency to leap before we look.

 

[Wunjo]

Psychoanalyzing every rationalization they can offer and watch them go rage mode.

Or we can just be friends.

(But this is what I do to my friends)

 

[notmyapples]

My father is ESTP and we had a lot of conflict throughout my childhood. I think I just learned that he would never really be able to make me feel heard about things I was passionate about, so I stopped pushing those things onto him and found other people to share that stuff with. I realized that I couldn't truly show him all of myself, but that was okay because I knew he still loved me.

I guess I just made sense of what I could and couldn't do with an ESTP, and our relationship healed because of it. It'll never be the most fulfilling thing in my life, but it doesn't have to be. It's the same with other Se doms.

 

[lds395]

Pal will ask me to do X, I'll (cordially) pass, pal will persist and persist in the most annoying manner possible and will be even be a little aggressive (in a 'friendly' and 'humourous' manner) till I rather rudely shut him out or give in. Pal will emotionally manipulate you (one told me about his deceased mother right before he asked me for a huge favour). Pal will tell me what to do, how and when to do it and he knows what's best for me. Pal looks down upon what I do and quite judgmentally puts it down as it doesn't correspond to what his view on it is (I've been called a idiot - in much less cordial terms - for being a fan of fiction books when I could as well watch a movie). Pal is incredibly perceptive about my facial expressions (always 'calling me out' on being tired, annoyed... whatever 'negative expression') but will never catch on the times that he is the cause of my annoyance. Rather ironically, pal has a strong desire for independence and resents it when he feels that he's being told what to do. That has been a common thread among all the friendships I've made with ESTPs.

Another thing that I'm not very fond of is that they tend to be rather proud of the violent (and most of them completely unnecessary) physical altercations they've been involved in and are very confrontational.

Could you please elaborate on that?

It's so interesting to read this spelled out this way. I sensed these things in myself in my early twenties although I never would have been able to make them as explicit as you have. I eventually decided to see a psychiatrist for a while, because choosing not to manipulate people always had to be such a conscious effort for me. So I think the profile you've provided is our natural starting point, unfortunately. It's very accurate about where I was before. It took (1) having someone pointing out my blind spots on a regular basis whose insight I respected enough to listen to (psychiatrist), (2) extensive self-examination: asking myself why I was going to respond in those ways. (and realizing most of the time it was an attempt at maintaining a stoic appearance and avoiding being more invested in my social relationships than they were.), (3) being taught that intimacy does not happen in a logical, measurable, or predictable order (I had to be shown that intimacy is never going to be linear).

Each time I saw my psychiatrist and she asked even simple things that reached into my psyche, I would burst into tears. I hated it. But I started meditating. I listened to my body. Before I moved on from social relationships because I couldn't see the benefit I was getting from them, I asked if that person was a good human and tried to use that litmus test for the circle I maintained around me. Eventually, I realized it also had to do with the social environment one maintains. Stay surrounded by other ExTPs, and it's an echo chamber of assholes, unfortunately. Bring in others from all over the MBTI range and everyone learns more about themselves and others.

I try to find more materials about self-development for ESTPs but it's rather hard to find so far. Instead, it seems really helpful having INTJs around me who hold me painfully accountable in that blunt way ESTPs love. Lastly, the violence bit doesn't resonate with me at all, as any type of physiological discomfort in someone else brings me a great deal of stress. Could just be an outlier issue though.

 

[lds395]

I'm extremely ESTP and reading these comments of theirs on a finally blunt laundry list of ESTP issues feels so good. They're hella accurate on where I've been at different points in my life.

 

[Elegiac]

How to make an elderly ESTP to stop doing reckless things? The body at their age can't take much more. It's dangerous...

 

[Pionart]

How to make an elderly ESTP to stop doing reckless things? The body at their age can't take much more. It's dangerous...

Se types need Si to balance them out, so typical "take precautions, be safe" sort of stuff.

As an Se inferior, but with perhaps overactive Se, I've been researching about diet, and alcohol effects.

 

[The Cat]

How to make an elderly ESTP to stop doing reckless things? The body at their age can't take much more. It's dangerous...

You can't

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

You can't

You are wrong. Kill them before they do the dangerous thing, it's that simple.

 

[The Cat]

You are wrong. Kill them before they do the dangerous thing, it's that simple.

Just like you cant make infp not hunger for human blood apparently.