[ESTP] How do you deal with ESTPs?

[Wiley45]

Really? Weird! The biggest mooches I've known have been NFP's, consistently throughout my life.

After reading your comment, I wondered if my ESTP guy is more independent because of the way his parents raised him, but I realized that my other good ESTP friend comes from a family of irresponsible people and hasn't really had anyone from whom she could learn. She's very generous with her money and takes full responsibility for herself. Strange. I wonder what the experiences of others have been with regards to ESTP's and mooching.

 

[jenocyde]

Well, I'm not saying that ESTPs are mooches by any stretch, merely pointing out that assholery knows no type.

 

[stellar renegade]

Yeah, the way that the mind of each type is setup sometimes things can go either way. I could see both scenarios being played out because the person is an ESTP. I think that being independent is more of an ESTP trait, though. It's just that mooching and squeezing money out of others can come easier to us.

Personally I love making my own money and I'm quite generous. I hardly think about being paid back. Having to get rides has always been a pain for me because I'd rather have my own car.

 

[Halla74]

Personally I love making my own money and I'm quite generous. I hardly think about being paid back. Having to get rides has always been a pain for me because I'd rather have my own car.

THIS! I never show up to a party wihtout calling ahead and asking if the host needs ice, beer, vodka, mixers, etc.

I will not be dependent on others for transportation, becasue if I am sick of being somewhere, I am leaving. I cannot tolerate boredom.

Anytime I have given anything to anybody it has been out of kindness that I respect nothing in return for. Some people get caught off guard by random acts of kindness, especially those with an avoidant mode of attachment, and when they ask "Wow. What do you want in return?" and I say "Nothing. It is yours, I thought you'd like it, I want nothing in return." they look at me like I'm an alien.

I am generous to a fault, but I am very consistent, and have found that more often than not, what is a trivial self sacrifice to me is able to brighten the hell out of someone else's day. That's a nice feeling.

As for the fellow whose trying to negotiate others to pay for his nickelbags, well, that's his deal, hardly and ESTP-ism. Jenocyde said it best: "Assholery knows no type."

 

[Jaguar]

As for the fellow whose trying to negotiate others to pay for his nickelbags, well, that's his deal, hardly and ESTP-ism. Jenocyde said it best: "Assholery knows no type."

I actually enjoyed watching an INFP call someone a "fuckface."
What is this nonsense of people thinking every little nuance has to equate to a specific type?

 

[onemoretime]

Well, I'm not saying that ESTPs are mooches by any stretch, merely pointing out that assholery knows no type.

Unfortunately, I think moochery is endemic to both ExTP types.

 

[Jaguar]

^ I think mooches are pussies.
Halla is no pussy.

 

[Uytuun]

an intense need to manipulate and control other people.

I have a similar experience, actually, including the draining confrontations that to them seem almost energising. They may not consciously manipulate people, but the results can be devastating. People that don't play their game and don't give them what they want become "bad people". IME, ESTPs can be very selfish and use their logic skills in flawed and self-serving ways just to get what they want at that given moment. They can easily justify to themselves not taking responsibilty for anything for example and will guilt people into feeling bad about not massaging their fragile egos enough while claiming that they don't care about how other people see them at all. Guilt and denial, I think, are the strongest weapons of the unbalanced ESTP. The car salesmen of MBTI land.

It does seem to go in phases, but at their worst, I detach completely. Their tactics offend me and I don't respond to them.

I said IME, right, no doubt there are ESTPs that don't go overboard with their natural talents.

 

[Wiley45]

Unfortunately, I think moochery is endemic to both ExTP types.

I've seen hard workers of every type, and lazy people of every type. Maybe mooching is just another general character flaw, similar to laziness, that could be seen in any type.

Knowing my ESTP SO and friend, it's just hard for me to imagine an ESTP mooching. The ones I know really are super independent. If an ESTP mooches off someone, I wonder if a lot of the appeal is about the mental game of trying to convince someone to do what the ESTP wants.

 

[onemoretime]

I've seen hard workers of every type, and lazy people of every type. Maybe mooching is just another general character flaw, similar to laziness, that could be seen in any type.

Knowing my ESTP SO and friend, it's just hard for me to imagine an ESTP mooching. The ones I know really are super independent. If an ESTP mooches off someone, I wonder if a lot of the appeal is about the mental game of trying to convince someone to do what the ESTP wants.

It's not so much mooching for the sake of mooching, as much as it is the tendency to be in situations where someone will have something that our types need to accomplish a goal, and very little personal reservation toward asking for it. That can be interpreted as mooching.

At the same time, when we have resources, we tend to be fairly generous with them. There's a concern that others don't recognize this when we ask for things from them.

 

[Geoff]

Can someone define "mooching" for this Englishman? To me it has the connotation of hanging out and not getting up to much. Just... mooching around. I'm guessing this doesnt fit the meaning here!!

 

[onemoretime]

Can someone define "mooching" for this Englishman? To me it has the connotation of hanging out and not getting up to much. Just... mooching around. I'm guessing this doesnt fit the meaning here!!

Taking something from someone without reciprocating. Usually in regard to something that can be consumed, like beer or money.

 

[Halla74]

Can someone define "mooching" for this Englishman? To me it has the connotation of hanging out and not getting up to much. Just... mooching around. I'm guessing this doesnt fit the meaning here!!

You Englishmen! Messing up our jarbled American language!

American != English
--------------------
Cigarrette = Fag
Trunk = Boot
Mooch = Shameless consumption of other's resources...

Taking something from someone without reciprocating. Usually in regard to something that can be consumed, like beer or money.

I have always hated moochers. I am however shameless, and if I need something, I will ask for it, but I'll compensate the owner, I don't expect stuff for free. TANSTAFL! First law of economics!

 

[stellar renegade]

THIS! I never show up to a party wihtout calling ahead and asking if the host needs ice, beer, vodka, mixers, etc.

YEP! Just got done partying in Okiehoma, and when I picked up the alcohol for everyone three people pitched in a total of $40 and I ended up pitching in almost $35. haha. Cuz I HAD to get the biggest bottles, of course! The guy that came in to see what was up saw the total $73 and was like, "God." hahaha. I still claim my money went towards the Jager while theirs was for the Vodka that made for a shitty last half of the night, though. haha.

I will not be dependent on others for transportation, becasue if I am sick of being somewhere, I am leaving. I cannot tolerate boredom.

Oh man, I so wish I had a car there. I hardly slept at all cuz I was so excited to be there, I guess. I don't know how many hours total I was stalking around at night (course, I work graveyards) bored out of my skull trying to figure something out to do. If I had had a car I would've been cruisin' the town for sure.

Anytime I have given anything to anybody it has been out of kindness that I respect nothing in return for. Some people get caught off guard by random acts of kindness, especially those with an avoidant mode of attachment, and when they ask "Wow. What do you want in return?" and I say "Nothing. It is yours, I thought you'd like it, I want nothing in return." they look at me like I'm an alien.

I am generous to a fault, but I am very consistent, and have found that more often than not, what is a trivial self sacrifice to me is able to brighten the hell out of someone else's day. That's a nice feeling.

YES YES YESS!!! We are like two peas in a pod.

As for the fellow whose trying to negotiate others to pay for his nickelbags, well, that's his deal, hardly and ESTP-ism. Jenocyde said it best: "Assholery knows no type."

A-fucking-men, brother.

It's not so much mooching for the sake of mooching, as much as it is the tendency to be in situations where someone will have something that our types need to accomplish a goal, and very little personal reservation toward asking for it. That can be interpreted as mooching.

At the same time, when we have resources, we tend to be fairly generous with them. There's a concern that others don't recognize this when we ask for things from them.

Exactly. Sometimes I'm quick to think that people will do something for me just because I have this general assumption of universal generosity. It's not me being an asshole, I swear. Like taking some chips from their bag (usually I ask unless I think the person wouldn't mind or I'm being a little devil) or something. I have to admit that I've often ended up making people wait for me when giving me a ride, then wonder why they were so frustrated. I'd have to say that I'd probably get pretty impatient if I were in their shoes, too, although I'd have more understanding for the situation.

I just don't like sitting around in the same place for too long.

 

[Wiley45]

It's not so much mooching for the sake of mooching, as much as it is the tendency to be in situations where someone will have something that our types need to accomplish a goal, and very little personal reservation toward asking for it. That can be interpreted as mooching.

At the same time, when we have resources, we tend to be fairly generous with them. There's a concern that others don't recognize this when we ask for things from them.

Ah, ok. This makes more sense to me.

 

[jenocyde]

At the same time, when we have resources, we tend to be fairly generous with them. There's a concern that others don't recognize this when we ask for things from them.

This. Oh my goodness, yes.

I cant stand stingy people just as much as I can't stand a mooch.

 

[stellar renegade]

My view is that we didn't choose to begin existing so nothing is really ours in the first place. You have to keep a loose grip on things or else you'll never acquire very much. Easy come, easy go, I always say.

 

[onemoretime]

My view is that we didn't choose to begin existing so nothing is really ours in the first place. You have to keep a loose grip on things or else you'll never acquire very much. Easy come, easy go, I always say.

You can't take it with you. Save enough for your family to be comfortable after you're gone, but as far as the rest, it isn't going to do you much good unless it's being used

 

[Halla74]

You can't take it with you. Save enough for your family to be comfortable after you're gone, but as far as the rest, it isn't going to do you much good unless it's being used

+1

The time value of money to me always meant:

"Money is worth more if you use it before you get hit by a bus."

 

[wolfy]

+1

The time value of money to me always meant:

"Money is worth more if you use it before you get hit by a bus."

If you're going to be hit by a bus, use a little of that cash to buy a clean pair of undies.