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[SP] isxp's are poor communicators

Just another ISTJ

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Of course you could always ask them straight up, and you may or may not get the truth in response. :devil:

That would be the point where I throw my hands up in frustration and walk away.

With that in mind, I've decided to take a "ball is in their court" direction with this one particular ISFP and go on with my life. It's been a while since I've felt this good!
 
D

Dali

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I have a feeling I've mentioned this before on the site but... I forget.

Anyway, sometimes, my mind processes words faster than I can get them out coherently and I then switch the syntax of the words and get them out in the wrong order. i.e. I tend to babble every now and then. Admittedly, much less than when I was younger but it's still not a pretty sight.
 

maliafee

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I have a feeling I've mentioned this before on the site but... I forget.

Anyway, sometimes, my mind processes words faster than I can get them out coherently and I then switch the syntax of the words and get them out in the wrong order. i.e. I tend to babble every now and then. Admittedly, much less than when I was younger but it's still not a pretty sight.

YES! Sometimes I am articulate, but other times I feel like if I could write it down it would be so much easier. "Can't--talk--good--" hehe!

Sometimes it takes ISFPs so much mental energy to talk they just cannot do it (the phone call or whatever). It's not personal.

I had a boyfriend who would just run off at the mouth how upset he was and then say, "So! What do you have to say about all that? What do you think? How does that make you feel?!" And there was just... NOTHING. I was frozen. I needed time. I didn't know what to say. He (ENFJ) hated that. :D
 

Poki

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YES! Sometimes I am articulate, but other times I feel like if I could write it down it would be so much easier. "Can't--talk--good--" hehe!

Sometimes it takes ISFPs so much mental energy to talk they just cannot do it (the phone call or whatever). It's not personal.

I had a boyfriend who would just run off at the mouth how upset he was and then say, "So! What do you have to say about all that? What do you think? How does that make you feel?!" And there was just... NOTHING. I was frozen. I needed time. I didn't know what to say. He (ENFJ) hated that. :D

I am the same way. You get overloaded with all this stuff and then get put on the spot.
 
D

Dali

Guest
YES! Sometimes I am articulate, but other times I feel like if I could write it down it would be so much easier. "Can't--talk--good--" hehe!

Sometimes it takes ISFPs so much mental energy to talk they just cannot do it (the phone call or whatever). It's not personal.

I had a boyfriend who would just run off at the mouth how upset he was and then say, "So! What do you have to say about all that? What do you think? How does that make you feel?!" And there was just... NOTHING. I was frozen. I needed time. I didn't know what to say. He (ENFJ) hated that. :D

Oh man, the worst is when you start off telling a funny/interesting story and then babble or peter off in the middle. I come off feeling rather retarded (easy there, PC police).
 

Colors

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Quinlan said:
Because communication is about sending and receiving a message. That's failing the receiving part.

You're right. Need to work on that.

Mo_(operalover) said:
Oh man, the worst is when you start off telling a funny/interesting story and then babble or peter off in the middle.
I hate this. This usually happens because I realize about halfway into the story that the relevance of said story to the conversation is actually incredibly tenuous at best. Or possibly even obtuse.
 

Zayin-x

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I have trouble taking phone calls not so much that I'm a bad communicator as it is that I find it a *pure struggle* to try to talk on the phone. I find it laborious to take the initiative to pick up the phone and say, "Hello?" I just don't like it---it's hard work. It's not necessarily that I don't care or am uninterested...it takes what seems to be a ridiculous amount of effort just to talk on the phone. In person I'm just fine though.

I am not very blunt when communicating...my criticisms are very subtle. I'm usually careful about what to say and how to say it before I say it, because it could come off as disrespectful. I tend to keep my harshest judgments to myself.
 

Bamboo

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Because communication is about sending and receiving a message. That's failing the receiving part.

Well for understanding written words, I'm pretty good. If it's any objective measure (maybe) I got a 710 on the reading comprehension section of the SAT. Forums sort of confuse me though, I'm really bad at picking up on sarcasm. Literature (written by pros) is easy to figure out though. The trick is to think of it like this: the page you are looking at used to be blank space. Someone put words there. They put those words there for a reason. Figure out the reason. Make it a puzzle and it's easy to understand.

That trick can be applied to most speech too.

Face to face, I generally don't say much. I took a speech class in college and people always commented that I had really clear facial expressions and hand movements, so I'll take that as a good thing. My actual speeches really sucked though. No preparation.

Awso, whens I gets arund perrty gurls i strat giiten awl awkwerd and I'm like uh ah er huh? Then I :sick:.

No but seriously I use a lot of filler words in my everyday speech.
 
R

Riva

Guest
I don't know about ISXP's but I certainly have ran across poor communicators, as a matter of fact I just ran into one today...

i know a ISFP. I have to strangle him to make him talk. arghhhhh
he starts telling you about something. about 5 words later he just stops. then i have to fill in the blanks.

a few years back he told me that he saw this girl at a lecture. well that's it. i had to finish the rest

He - (Enthusiastically) i saw a girl
I - yeah is she cute?
He - yes, but.........
I - but what?
He- she is, you know, she is............... she went
I - (PISSED OFF) she WHAT???????
He -i was.... when she got.....
I -(EXTREMELY ANNOYED) you were what????? about to squeeze her butt???
He - Noooooooooooooooooooooo. i went..... then .... the lecturer
I -ohhhh you went to talk to her?
He -YESSSSS!!!
I - but then the lecturer came???
He -yes, yes, yes
I - so you couldn't talk to her?
He -yes.. and she was wearing green and you know, you know.... and ... you
I - (completely lost and infuriated) what the???
He - stares at me and smiles
I -ohhh you were gonna comment about what she was wearing because it was beautiful?.
but when you were going to say hi, the lecturer came so you went and sat?
after the lecture she quickly left, so you couldn't talk to her?

He - happily nods as if he nailed the girl.

3 years later he still hasn't spoken to her.

i never get annoyed. but pray i do when i talk to a ISFP. or atleast the guy i know.

Ps: we have been friends for about 5 years.

so yes. the answer to your question is yes.
 
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Brouhaha

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YES! Sometimes I am articulate, but other times I feel like if I could write it down it would be so much easier. "Can't--talk--good--" hehe!

Sometimes it takes ISFPs so much mental energy to talk they just cannot do it (the phone call or whatever). It's not personal.

I had a boyfriend who would just run off at the mouth how upset he was and then say, "So! What do you have to say about all that? What do you think? How does that make you feel?!" And there was just... NOTHING. I was frozen. I needed time. I didn't know what to say. He (ENFJ) hated that. :D

I understand your boyfriend thing. Not because I have a boyfriend, because that would make me gay, but instead because I had a good friend who would always want to know my inner feelings and all that nonsense. She literally couldn't comprehend why I didn't think about my inner feelings, and told me so quite forcefully. I guess she was trying to force me into it? She just didn't understand that I don't even think about it.
 

Skyline

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I do believe some of us / the isxp's are poor communicators.
It's like we need extra extra comfort and effort to bring our inner worlds out on the table.
so it doesn't happen a lot.
except maybe in cry and excitement sessions and on forums like these :p
Luckily there are E people who beg for attention :p and they force you to tell something about yourself, LOL.
It still puts me off sumtimesss (...) but at the same time I do appreciate the effort.
It's cool being me, It's cool knowing a nice E. :banana:
 

riel

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Which one? Before you judge isxps, get to know them first. There may be other reasons why they haven't returned your phone calls, emails, etc. Your statement applies to all types, not just to isxps.

In my case, I'm poor at communicating verbally..except with people who are extremely close with me..but I return my emails and phone calls as a sign of respect/I have to. Any way, if I were communicating with you, I'll return phone calls and emails.


:cheese:
 

mcmartinez84

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Mmmm...long reply is long.

Every ISTP in my family also has an issue with keeping in touch. The ones in my family don't need to establish contact as frequently as most Es do and that has gotten the Es in my family a little frustrated. Personally, I don't mind doing most of the calling in order to keep in touch and I try not to guilt them into showing greater initiative in that respect.

Just so you know, some might brand you a poor communicator.

It's hard to guilt me into calling people. I don't think much about the phone. I hardly call anyone and I forget to do things like that even after I've been told to (and sometimes when I even want to). So yeah...phoning is alright if I receive the call. Don't expect me to make it unless I'm going to ask you for something.

When I was in high school, a guy I knew who had a crush on me would call me up a couple of times a week and we'd talk online too (he had just graduated and I was a junior, I think...). Anyway, one day he said something about giving me *his* number so I could call him up instead of him calling me. And I didn't have feelings for him, but he was a cool friend. I kind played the dense card, ignoring the fact that he prolly had feelings for me (he'd never specifically said anything about feelings...). We-ell, I remember saying something like "I don't want your number 'cause I'm not going to call it...'cause I don't call anyone..." and I was being brutally honest. He stopped calling after that, which made me kinda sad 'cause I thought we made good friends. :-/

Another thing to think about is that sometimes I avoid talking in general because I know what I really want to say will hurt someone's feelings. I don't often pick up on that kind of thing (altho I've gotten better in recent years). It's a pretty big deal to say the least. I know someone won't like something, so I avoid it at great costs. Unfortunately (I think?), to me a lot of people are "disposable" (for lack of a better word). Maybe easily replaceable.... If I lose one friend to lack of communication, we probably didn't get along that well to begin with. Oh darn. :dry:

The ISXP's I know are excellent at communicating when they actually want to communicate with you.

Wanting to communicate is key. I feel no need to associate with those that I don't want to associate with. And communicating is the easiest line of association to kill off.

...I have definitely lost touch with friends that have moved away because I hate the telephone.

Definitely. I hardly keep in touch with my friends from college except over Facebook and AIM...and I don't talk to most of them using those mediums very often anyway.

Agreed. The thing is, we can like you a lot and just not feel up to talking. Sorry. We need space. It's not intentional and most of the time hope or assume you don't care and will understand.

Or, on the other hand, we could be trying to avoid you. :D

I guess you'll have to guess...

True! I'm a huge fan of space. And I might use that to avoid people, too :devil:

...She literally couldn't comprehend why I didn't think about my inner feelings, and told me so quite forcefully. I guess she was trying to force me into it? She just didn't understand that I don't even think about it.

Me too! I think that how I feel about something is irrelevant. Who cares how I feel? What difference will it really make if I bother to conjure feelings up about something? None that I can see. (also reflects my opinion on religion...what I choose to believe in won't change the existence or nonexistence of a higher being, after life, soul, karma, etc...)
 

maliafee

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Me too! I think that how I feel about something is irrelevant. Who cares how I feel? What difference will it really make if I bother to conjure feelings up about something? None that I can see. (also reflects my opinion on religion...what I choose to believe in won't change the existence or nonexistence of a higher being, after life, soul, karma, etc...)

This is interesting! I was in a relationship with an ENFJ (very unhealthy one I should say) who always tried to get my inner thoughts and feelings out. Geez. Sometimes I was thinking but couldn't remember what about... sometimes I wasn't thinking about anything, just feeling my environment. That wasn't acceptable to him, though. *Ugh*
 
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