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  1. #1
    Senior Member Justin of Flavia Neapolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2017

    Default ISTPs and Attachment Theory/Style

    I was curious how attachment styles would show up in ISTPs or SPs in general, but specifically ISTPs.

    I specify ISTPs because Avoidant attachment style may be the default for that personality type, and was curious how a Secure attachment style may show up in ISTPs.

    I realize Attachment Theory addresses early childhood trauma or lack thereof, and it's possible for ISTPs to be Secure in relationships. I'm curious how that would show up.

    Anyone else look into this?

    χρήστος ανέστη

  2. #2
    Softserve Ice Cream Agent Washington's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017


    I imagine Se manifests more, and Fe as a result also manifests. Protective of the people they love, doing things for them to show they love them, giving a head's up when busy/hard to come by, general considerateness, et cetera.
    There's no love in fear.
    - Tool

    Do we want to remind you of something? Yes: the world is good and we belong here.
    - Richard Siken
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  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2019


    I cover that by learning about how to manifest care. ISTP needs to intelectually learn how to pass the message "I love you". Sometimes it goes with performing behaviours you do not see rational or usefull. F.ex you can say "I love you" X times a day. Or "I miss you" - because people need this. This is not a default way of communicating but you say it for others sake. Even if you do not have "missing" feeling available. You would also express love by practical delivery of service, which is a default fo ISTP. It's all about compensating your lack of "feel" with your intellectual potential and understanding how to pass the message to others.
    But for ISTP to feel safelly attached few things are required (from my point of view). Lack of pressure and freedom (let your ISTP go for weekend alone, without asking why, she/he will love it), don't storm out with drama unexpectadly (warrn that you are angry, preferably first time when you get angry at sth., don't wait untill it build up in you).

    As ISTP we have lot's of homework to do as well on how to react to emotional stuff and to actually activelly think about feelings. My staring point was like: 4 emotional states: Hungry, Tired,Cold, OK. Then I started to set an alarm clock every 3 hours and think about my feelings (or feelings I think other people have currently). I had a list with definitions to widen my scope. After a month or so it gave measurable effects. Effect is that I can better communicate my needs to my partner (f.ex that I feel overwhelmed and need a time off) and to ask him about his feelings.

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