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  1. #1
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    Default How to communicate best with an ESTJ?

    Hi, I'm looking for some information on how to become a better friend towards ESTJs, particularly towards rather difficult ones, and particularly as an NF. Any tips would be great, really, and I'm hoping to not step on any toes here!

    Mostly I'm wondering how or if I can cause someone of this type to become more considerate of other people's emotions and life circumstances when I feel like they're absolutely not. Is there an easy way to make ESTJs open up about themselves, when it seems like they're randomly looking for a fight or being harsh?

    And while we're at it, how can I make a very money-orientated ESTJ family member of mine more tolerant about my career choices?

    Thanks in advance!

  2. #2
    hamburger fairy Ogata's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie spinster View Post
    Mostly I'm wondering how or if I can cause someone of this type to become more considerate of other people's emotions and life circumstances when I feel like they're absolutely not. Is there an easy way to make ESTJs open up about themselves, when it seems like they're randomly looking for a fight or being harsh?
    There isn't. Also, to an Fi user (especially Fi inferior), this feels... manipulative.

    Granted, what you can do is play a long game with them and beat them at their own game... But... Eh. Pick your battles.
    There's no love in fear.
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    Do we want to remind you of something? Yes: the world is good and we belong here.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ogata View Post
    There isn't. Also, to an Fi user (especially Fi inferior), this feels... manipulative.
    Hmm, okay, I think I didn't state my question all that well. It's not my intention to change someone's natural behaviour or personality, I'm definitely capable of keeping my distance to people I can't get along with. What I really want to figure out is how to get an ESTJ friend back to being their old self again when they're clearly drifting into unhealthy territory. He's been through a lot of shit lately, - problems with his youth work projects, an involuntary job change, ...- but the way he's acting as a result is driving me and everyone else in our group of friends insane. He's become rude, arrogant, slightly choleric, completely incapable of apologizing. He's always been very sure of himself and his opinions, which I get and like about him, but he's never been so disrespectful and openly offensive.

    I don't know if it's manipulative to want to do something about that. I mean, it could be seen that way. But it's really not the first time that I ran into this sort of issue, and while you can pick your battles you can't exactly pick your relatives. Our even your friends sometimes - it's hard to give up on people. Right now one of my friends is clearly feeling misunderstood, and I'm clearly misunderstanding him. And I'd really like for everyone to get along again! :/

  4. #4
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    “He's become rude, arrogant, slightly choleric, completely incapable of apologizing.”

    So he’s a normal ESTJ?

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