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[ISTJ] How do ISTJs flirt?

tenINsFJ

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Specifically females, but males are okay to know too. I'm just curious.
 

Recoleta

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Specifically females, but males are okay to know too. I'm just curious.

Ummmm, badly? My flirting is really subtle (probably to the point of being unnoticeable). It usually involves witty banter, lots of sarcasm, and just joking around constantly.

Quite frankly, I'm awful at emotional things...I don't know how to express my emotions outwardly without it being awkward. I feel a lot and think a lot on the inside, but getting those feelings to come out is a very rare occurrence, and usually makes me slightly uncomfortable -- and this occurrence has to happen naturally with someone that I am VERY comfortable with and trust a lot.

If you have ever gotten an ISTJ to "spill their emotional guts" to you, consider yourself very blessed. They'll likely stick around as a friend (or more) for life.

As for flirting through being seductive or something, you can probably forget about that. We usually don't stand out in a crowd, and unless the ISTJ you're talking about is smokin' hot and actually has the confidence to go along with it, we probably dress more on the conservative side.

I'm really trying to think here...I know what I don't do, but saying what I do do is very tough. Usually the people that have asked me out in the past just said that I was "different." It's probably that I don't try and stick out...I'm just myself and don't try to force things. I never take initiative. I figure if something will happen, it'll happen eventually. Kind of like the whole "waiting" thing that was mentioned in the Male ISTJ thread.
 

INTJMom

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You know what my ISTJ brother-in-law did? He would invite my sister over to watch tv with him. It took quite a while for my sister to realize that he thought they were "dating". It's kind of cute, really.
 

Cimarron

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Recoleta's post sounds a lot like me, too, even though I'm a male. I was thinking of starting a reply with the same joke! That's funny.

But let's let the females reply. :yes:
 

Anja

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I was away from home for quite a while this last winter and one day I called my ISTJ husband up and said, "Flirt with me a little bit."




Looooooooooog silence.
 

kyuuei

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:rofl1: I can imagine!! I actually heard a story last night that I absolutely died laughing about!!
Ditzy girl: <Waking up the next morning after escapades.> I want.. Pancakes! <hopeful look!, starry eye'd!>
ISTJ: <Looks at her.> No.
 

Jack Flak

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I can only think of one SJ flirting experience, she might have been ISFJ, and it was the opposite of subtle. Like hormones took over and she temporarily turned from typical to...Stripper maybe?
 

Anja

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kyueei, that made me laugh out loud. I totally get that.

Once when my young husband was feeling amorous and I 'had a headache" he said to me in a pathetically pleading tone of voice, "Yeah, but I mowed the lawn today."

Honest to God.

All romance flew out the window with that one!

Just see what I've had to suffer.;)
 

Anja

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Not related to flirting but similar in tone to the difference between types, I've learned not to grab his toothbrush in the morning. He becomes terribly offended if I put something in my mouth that he's had in his. Go figure. . .
 

kyuuei

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LOL!! No way!! >.o So tolerant you are! I just don't understand that sort of attitude!
 

kyuuei

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Not related to flirting but similar in tone to the difference between types, I've learned not to grab his toothbrush in the morning. He becomes terribly offended if I put something in my mouth that he's had in his. Go figure. . .

Also not understood. tongue + tongue = okay. Clean toothbrush + tongue = Clean toothbrush and teeth = NOT OKAY.
 

ArbiterDewey

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:rofl1: I can imagine!! I actually heard a story last night that I absolutely died laughing about!!
Ditzy girl: <Waking up the next morning after escapades.> I want.. Pancakes! <hopeful look!, starry eye'd!>
ISTJ: <Looks at her.> No.

Wonder who that was...:D

I agree with Recoleta and Cimarron. It just doesn't happen comfortably for us.
 

ArbiterDewey

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I was away from home for quite a while this last winter and one day I called my ISTJ husband up and said, "Flirt with me a little bit."




Looooooooooog silence.

Understood.

Over the phone = No. :confused: lol
 

tenINsFJ

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Ummmm, badly? My flirting is really subtle (probably to the point of being unnoticeable). It usually involves witty banter, lots of sarcasm, and just joking around constantly.

Quite frankly, I'm awful at emotional things...I don't know how to express my emotions outwardly without it being awkward. I feel a lot and think a lot on the inside, but getting those feelings to come out is a very rare occurrence, and usually makes me slightly uncomfortable -- and this occurrence has to happen naturally with someone that I am VERY comfortable with and trust a lot.

If you have ever gotten an ISTJ to "spill their emotional guts" to you, consider yourself very blessed. They'll likely stick around as a friend (or more) for life.

As for flirting through being seductive or something, you can probably forget about that. We usually don't stand out in a crowd, and unless the ISTJ you're talking about is smokin' hot and actually has the confidence to go along with it, we probably dress more on the conservative side.

I'm really trying to think here...I know what I don't do, but saying what I do do is very tough. Usually the people that have asked me out in the past just said that I was "different." It's probably that I don't try and stick out...I'm just myself and don't try to force things. I never take initiative. I figure if something will happen, it'll happen eventually. Kind of like the whole "waiting" thing that was mentioned in the Male ISTJ thread.

Interesting!

Like how the guy described his broth-in-laws way of "flirting," how would the same thing apply to you? If you liked someone, how would you try to grab their attention? Or demonstrate you like them(even if it's incredibly subtle)?
 

Anja

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I've never seen my husband "come on" to anyone.

He just hangs out looking his very ISTJ self and women flirt with him.

As a very rigidly principled human this works to his convenience. He doesn't have to compromise his standards.

Example:

At a party one night I came out of the bathroom and saw a pretty blonde sitting on his lap.

When I'd tended to business - protecting my "property" - heh - I had a quiet word with him. Quiet but not unheated.


His response? "Yeah, but I didn't do anything. She just came along and sat on my lap."

The poor thing. . . ;)

Anja said, "Um. Let's talk about personal responsibility."
 

Bella

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I don't think I flirt. I hate letting on that I like someone, I'd rather die.
 
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