[SJ] What if your functions aren't exactly "healthy" for you?

[InfernoToucan]

Yes I know, the functions are supposed to balance each other out, thats why you have the tert and inferior blah blah...
But I believe I am a Fe-Si Dom, and let me tell you it's causing all sorts of hell. The advice I get? "Accept yourself for who you are!"

Okay. So I should accept that I am so obsessed with my image and how I appear to people it caused me to make some really short sighted decisions about my life which ended up causing me distress? (Fe) I should be happy that I suffer from generalized anxiety to the point where I am too afraid to try anything new and exciting, and instead choose to waste away at my home, unemployed and still leaching off my parents? (Si and tert Ne) I should accept that I'm too stupid and illogical to figure things out on my own, and still stay in said wasteland mode? (Inferior Ti) I should be happy that this is "Who I am!" Even if I'm actually depressed out of my mind due to the order of these functions?
I may not have very strong Ti, but I have trouble fully accepting that this is the truth about me and thats all there is to it...

 

[Forever]

 

[Yama]

That's anxiety and depression, not ESFJ

 

[Yama]

Are you in school? Are you able to talk to a school counselor or otherwise find one?

 

[Forever]

That's anxiety and depression, not ESFJ

not [MENTION=22089]ESFJ[/MENTION] either

 

[Agent Washington]

You know what, I fucking give up. Go fucking talk to a fucking counselor and stop blaming it on MBTI.

 

[notmyapples]

You know what, I fucking give up. Go fucking talk to a fucking counselor and stop blaming it on MBTI.

This sums it up. People have been really patient with you about this, but constantly kicking dirt over the names of all sensors, especially ESFJs, is getting really old. You're depressed and have anxiety, that's what's making life so hard for you. Not being ESFJ.

 

[Lord Lavender]

The above isn't related to type at all but rather personal problems that need to be dealt with outside a typological network preferably with a professional.

 

[InfernoToucan]

You know what, I fucking give up. Go fucking talk to a fucking counselor and stop blaming it on MBTI.

I never asked you personally to answer my questions or solve my life crisis. I just post to see if someone has any information or insight on what I'm asking because I can't really seem to find much information on this topic. I also didn't blame it on MBTI, I'm just trying to understand. I can't afford a counselor at this point, and you really don't know what's going on in my life that this is how I'm trying to solve my problems. But thanks either way.

 

[Agent Washington]

I never asked you personally to answer my questions or solve my life crisis. I just post to see if someone has any information or insight on what I'm asking because I can't really seem to find much information on this topic. I also didn't blame it on MBTI, I'm just trying to understand. I can't afford a counselor at this point, and you really don't know what's going on in my life that this is how I'm trying to solve my problems. But thanks either way.

There isn't much info on this topic because thay are unrelated. You have issues. Period. They're not related to MBTI. PERIOD. The reason you're not getting any "insight" that YOU WANT TO SEE is because IT DOESNT EXIST. PERIOD.

 

[magpie]

Yes I know, the functions are supposed to balance each other out, thats why you have the tert and inferior blah blah...
But I believe I am a Fe-Si Dom, and let me tell you it's causing all sorts of hell. The advice I get? "Accept yourself for who you are!"

Okay. So I should accept that I am so obsessed with my image and how I appear to people it caused me to make some really short sighted decisions about my life which ended up causing me distress? (Fe) I should be happy that I suffer from generalized anxiety to the point where I am too afraid to try anything new and exciting, and instead choose to waste away at my home, unemployed and still leaching off my parents? (Si and tert Ne) I should accept that I'm too stupid and illogical to figure things out on my own, and still stay in said wasteland mode? (Inferior Ti) I should be happy that this is "Who I am!" Even if I'm actually depressed out of my mind due to the order of these functions?
I may not have very strong Ti, but I have trouble fully accepting that this is the truth about me and thats all there is to it...

Right now you have an unhealthy expression of your functions. The functions in and of themselves aren't unhealthy, just your expression of them. I think accepting yourself for who you are doesn't mean being okay with unhealthy expression - rather, it means that you don't have to worry about your image and how you appear to others.

 

[InfernoToucan]

There isn't much info on this topic because thay are unrelated. You have issues. Period. They're not related to MBTI. PERIOD. The reason you're not getting any "insight" that YOU WANT TO SEE is because IT DOESNT EXIST. PERIOD.

You seem to be way too caught up in my posts. I'm just a random internet stranger, y'know?

 

[Agent Washington]

You seem to be way too caught up in my posts. I'm just a random internet stranger, y'know?

it takes 0 effort to reply

like now

 

[InfernoToucan]

Right now you have an unhealthy expression of your functions. The functions in and of themselves aren't unhealthy, just your expression of them. I think accepting yourself for who you are doesn't mean being okay with unhealthy expression - rather, it means that you don't have to worry about your image and how you appear to others.

So you're saying that Fe should come naturally to me, meaning I really shouldn't put a conscious effort into it? Do you not put a conscious effort into Fe?

 

[magpie]

So you're saying that Fe should come naturally to me, meaning I really shouldn't put a conscious effort into it? Do you not put a conscious effort into Fe?

Um, I'm saying whatever effort you view as Fe shouldn't be about presenting a likeable image to others in a way that causes you anxiety. What do you view as Fe?

 

[InfernoToucan]

Um, I'm saying whatever effort you view as Fe shouldn't be about presenting a likeable image to others in a way that causes you anxiety. What do you view as Fe?

I've been reading through Jung's work to understand the functions. I haven't finished it, but it seems that Fe-users (and again, I'm trying not to say that you are like this, but this is how I interpreted his words) want to associate their feelings with what is objectively deemed "good". We hate having "thoughts" about possible truths to the world if they try to pierce this image of anything we thus deem to be "good". We often times repress these thoughts.
E.g. It is objectively deemed good to be sad if a loved one's grandparents died and to feel sympathy and show this sadness physically if they come to you for support. An Fe user may feel horrified if the unconscious thought "Well, why do the deaths of old folks really matter? The world is already overpopulated as it is, and they're technically contributing nothing much except draining resources"-> purely objective, dealing with a possible "truth" via Ti without taking into account moral values and sensitivities. Fe might squash this thought back to the grand canyon that is their unconscious and focus on grieving along with those around them.
In extreme cases, like in mine, Fe users mold themselves to the objectivity of the world: the best image they can present to people, whatever it is. If they push further against their introverted/subjective self, they can often times have mental breakdowns and lose themselves to the unconscious. The unconscious in this case (Ti) starts spouting ugly truths about themselves (i.e. development of low self esteem perhaps?) which they believe, and they develop a strong desire to become logical and more objective. They start losing "feelings" against things which once made them emotional, and start looking at things from a Ti perspective, but of course it is a very "infantile" (as Jung describes it) way of using Ti.

Classics in the History of Psychology -- Jung (1921/1923) Chapter 10

Depends on whether you agree with my interpretation. Frankly, this sounds like me a lot... However, I've had low self esteem and these deafening "harsh" thoughts about myself since I was very young, as well as a very controlling ESTJ mother... so while I became a neurotic ESFJ post-adolescence, not sure if it started that way or if this is even who I "truly" am. Hell, I don't know who I "truly" am, outside of MBTI. I feel completely lost about my identity, outside of any negative thoughts.

 

[Yama]

Hell, I don't know who I "truly" am, outside of MBTI.

If you don't know who you are outside of typology, then typology can't help you at all.

 

[InfernoToucan]

If you don't know who you are outside of typology, then typology can't help you at all.

How do you know?

 

[Yama]

How do you know?

Because being accurately typed, and thus being able to use typology for personal growth, requires self-awareness

 

[InfernoToucan]

Because being accurately typed, and thus being able to use typology for personal growth, requires self-awareness

I am quite self aware actually. I think I worded that point wrong: It's not that I don't know "who" I am, but rather who I am "meant" to be, if that makes any sense. I've suffered from depression nearly my entire life- I am not sure if this is the normal me, or if the person truly content with life is somewhere in here- but I can't seem to find them yet.