[MBTI General] "Finding" yourself

[Anja]

Well, I'm getting to know you a little, Bella, and you seem like a fairly deep ISTJ to me.

I've known my ISTJ husband since I was fifteen. He always looked to me like he had already found himself and knew who he was and what he wanted. But, over time, I have realized that he too, is in process of becoming his true self. And, while he has never said, I like to think that it's important to him.

He just doesn't verbalize it - ever. I doubt that it even occurs to him. He isn't much of a metathinker. Pretty matter-of-fact about things.

And when it comes to feelings, he keeps it simple - mad, bad, sad, glad. That's it. No complexities there. Any more would put him on overload, I think.

 

[Bella]

Thank you, Anja.
I definitely relate to that description, although the whole thing does occur to me.

'mad, bad, sad, glad', heeee, that's funny! Could I use it in my avatar or something, please?

 

[Anja]

Take it. Last I looked it was still common property!

Really simplifies things, no?

 

[swordpath]

I don't know myself, nor anyone else.

 

[Nighthawk]

Well, what's your personal experience? Have you ever tried, or are you trying, or do you try, to "find" yourself? Would/is such an endeavor important to you?

I tried for years to "find myself" in an SJ/SP-oriented career (military). That did not work out so well. I switched to more NT-friendly computer science in my early 30's and that has worked much better. Of course, there is the additional issue of me correlating "finding myself" with my career ... but that's a new and different battle. My ISFJ wife found her calling in life quite early ... and is better at separating the job from the life in general.

 

[animenagai]

i always like reading the SJ topics. most of them won't write unnecessarily long paragraphs with not much to say. it's the other way round, it's short but it tells me a lot about a type i am more alien to. is it safe to say that SJ's find themselves in a very S way? are they asking questions like 'what job should i get' and 'what should i study' rather than the more airy fairy stuff we N's do?

i have an ISTJ friend who i had a major crush on for 3 years. she's absolutely nuts on the rare occasion but very private and proper most of the time. i showed her the test and after she did it, she told me that she's disappointed about being 'the typical accountant type' (that's what she's studying) because that's what society tells her to be. it makes me think just how much someone like her would've changed if there was more N in her.

 

[Bella]

I don't understand what she meant with society telling her that accounting is what she should do. Surely she chose it because she enjoys it.

 

[animenagai]

I don't understand what she meant with society telling her that accounting is what she should do. Surely she chose it because she enjoys it.

she's really molded by society. especially her parents, being your typical overbearing asian parents. she follows the rules. a lot. i think she started drinking coffee just because it's the thing to do. i think that more or less makes her think 'why'.

 

[Bella]

That's a crying shame! But isn't that more cultural than type related. Mind you, I think I read here somewhere that the Asian countries are ISTJish. The plot thickens.
Keep drinking that coffee, girl! Get your head shaved and a tattoo too!