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[ISTJ] Ask an ISTJ Anything!

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
If you are given a chance to eat a durian, would you try it? Any exotic foods you wanna try?

i grew up with that shit

i draw the line at various strains of mold and bugs, any mammals are fine, amphibians are iffy but i've had it before
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
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Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,581
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INTJ
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6w5
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sx/sp
What are your favorite things to do for fun?
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
What are your favorite things to do for fun?

we don't have fun

...hmmm
well
..........i've been watching a lot of comedies lately, gintama is hilarious

i also just drew a fave character with minions, and everyone i know hates minions, which makes trolling them hilarious
 

highlander

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What kind of work do you do. What do you most like and dislike about it?
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
What kind of work do you do. What do you most like and dislike about it?

i used to work in an office. it was the least pain in the ass type of work compared to sales/retail/cashier/etc but it's still soul crushin.

right now i'm a student and i hope to become an academic, because i can actually see a point in contributing to research (as opposed to the benefit of some company that literally doesnt give a shit about us).

that probably isn't going to happen, because idk how many researchers are needed anywhere at all, but ideally i'd love to go study a phd eventually. research really utilises the si-te aspect - it's important to read, gather a substantial amount of literature, evaluate/look at sources, work with theories or formulate them-- etc etc.

down side is, i'm a HUGE procrastinator who greatly relies on forming habits to work. this living arrangement is often disruptive, the weather is really shitty/depressing here, the public transport here sucks ass for a first world country (yes i know this term is contested and kinda obsolete), and my flatmates are... well, shits. it all boils down to $$, which i do not have, and well, student life......................... sucks, because, well... look at students in general. i'm def not here for my peers.

down side of anything about working or even just life in general is that i generally dislike people, but the up side about my major is that there's not that much group work, and the professors are generally really nice.
 

highlander

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i used to work in an office. it was the least pain in the ass type of work compared to sales/retail/cashier/etc but it's still soul crushin.

right now i'm a student and i hope to become an academic, because i can actually see a point in contributing to research (as opposed to the benefit of some company that literally doesnt give a shit about us).

that probably isn't going to happen, because idk how many researchers are needed anywhere at all, but ideally i'd love to go study a phd eventually. research really utilises the si-te aspect - it's important to read, gather a substantial amount of literature, evaluate/look at sources, work with theories or formulate them-- etc etc.

down side is, i'm a HUGE procrastinator who greatly relies on forming habits to work. this living arrangement is often disruptive, the weather is really shitty/depressing here, the public transport here sucks ass for a first world country (yes i know this term is contested and kinda obsolete), and my flatmates are... well, shits. it all boils down to $$, which i do not have, and well, student life......................... sucks, because, well... look at students in general. i'm def not here for my peers.

down side of anything about working or even just life in general is that i generally dislike people, but the up side about my major is that there's not that much group work, and the professors are generally really nice.

Wait. ISTJ procrastinator? That seems like an oxymoron. I didn't think they did that much. Well, we all procrastinate on thing or another - which is what things we don't like doing. You seem to make a reference to this more broadly though. What do you procrastinate on?
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,882
What makes you warm and fuzzy inside? What type of people are you willing to let your guard down for to share that warm fuzziness?
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
Wait. ISTJ procrastinator? That seems like an oxymoron. I didn't think they did that much. Well, we all procrastinate on thing or another - which is what things we don't like doing. You seem to make a reference to this more broadly though. What do you procrastinate on?

a mix of depression, anxiety, and executive dysfunction, vroom vroom. *car stalls*
sometimes i even procrastinate on things i want to do and would enjoy doing (like ...watching shows i want to watch).
and sometimes i procrastinate on things i want/need to do........... by doing things i hate but have less consequence.
right now i am procrastinating on...sleep....

i do recall reading articles about procrastination - how people with higher expectations of themselves (performance anxiety? perfectionism?) tend to procrastinate more, but i can't seem to find a decent article right now.
procrastination is also linked to many other conditions, but executive dysfunction is the biggest problem when it comes to issues with untreated brain chemistry.
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
What makes you warm and fuzzy inside? What type of people are you willing to let your guard down for to share that warm fuzziness?

People who have been consistently there for a long time and are, somehow, against all odds, still fond of me, not for any practical reason, but because they value me as an individual, and they show it through actions. Actions and purity of intent is relatively easy to discern over a long period of time. The problem is developing that kind of ...hmm... healthy attachment, not out of need, but out of mutual appreciation. Due to past experiences, I have about 30000 walls, good luck Mr. Gorbachev xD

I'm probably not the best example, but I find Tert Fi users generally hard to know for real.

It's a bit hard to tell what gives warm fuzzies anymore because the recent change in weather severely impacted my ability to feel joy on top of my shitty living situation.

If I look back, I can distinguish them in different levels, that is to say... Like... Intellectual achievement/relating/learning euphoria, connecting emotionally to someone on a personal level, or who gives a wider viewpoint emotionally (i.e. on a universal level as a human), completing something deemed valuable, these are all things that can be felt at depth. there's also the pure sensory aspect (...right now it's also severely impacted) ... looking up and seeing the sun in the sky and everything feels right in the world. or good, relaxing, jovial company. there's also appreciation of the abject, sometimes. it's more mixed in that sense.

on the purest, most visual level... i have a really cute teddy bear that i've had for years now. he is very stupid and very old, but he is cute, snuggly, and cares a lot.

...or i could just get drunk and stop thinking so much, which is literally warm and fuzzy, but i've been avoiding alcohol since i moved out.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,882
People who have been consistently there for a long time and are, somehow, against all odds, still fond of me, not for any practical reason, but because they value me as an individual, and they show it through actions. Actions and purity of intent is relatively easy to discern over a long period of time. The problem is developing that kind of ...hmm... healthy attachment, not out of need, but out of mutual appreciation. Due to past experiences, I have about 30000 walls, good luck Mr. Gorbachev xD

I'm probably not the best example, but I find Tert Fi users generally hard to know for real.

It's a bit hard to tell what gives warm fuzzies anymore because the recent change in weather severely impacted my ability to feel joy on top of my shitty living situation.

If I look back, I can distinguish them in different levels, that is to say... Like... Intellectual achievement/relating/learning euphoria, connecting emotionally to someone on a personal level, or who gives a wider viewpoint emotionally (i.e. on a universal level as a human), completing something deemed valuable, these are all things that can be felt at depth. there's also the pure sensory aspect (...right now it's also severely impacted) ... looking up and seeing the sun in the sky and everything feels right in the world. or good, relaxing, jovial company. there's also appreciation of the abject, sometimes. it's more mixed in that sense.

on the purest, most visual level... i have a really cute teddy bear that i've had for years now. he is very stupid and very old, but he is cute, snuggly, and cares a lot.

...or i could just get drunk and stop thinking so much, which is literally warm and fuzzy, but i've been avoiding alcohol since i moved out.

Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I dated an ISTJ, a 583 on top of that (very independent), so he was hard to "get to" on a warm fuzzy level, but I could tell I was there cuz he took such good care of me, cooking me lots of meals and cleaning and making sure I put air in my tires when they got too low for too long. Our relationship wasn't perfect, but I find myself reminiscing an awful lot lately. He is now the bar that I hold others to, and it kinda sucks and I know I shouldn't do that, but it's hard not to.

It's so cute when you guys get silly or caring though.

I wish we would have ended things on better terms because I know as an Si dom, he will never forgive me for my poor behavior during our breakup. I almost never hold grudges, even when they are called for, so this is a tender thought for me - that he'll probably hate me forever.

If I ever find another good, compatible man who is an ISTJ, I'm not letting him go and I'm gonna make sure I am emotionally/mentally healthy so it doesn't stress him out.
(I'm not mentioning his mental health issues cuz no need really, but neither of us were in great shape consistently. We still both handled each other rather well overall.)
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
Yes, that makes a lot of sense. I dated an ISTJ, a 583 on top of that (very independent), so he was hard to "get to" on a warm fuzzy level, but I could tell I was there cuz he took such good care of me, cooking me lots of meals and cleaning and making sure I put air in my tires when they got too low for too long. Our relationship wasn't perfect, but I find myself reminiscing an awful lot lately. He is now the bar that I hold others to, and it kinda sucks and I know I shouldn't do that, but it's hard not to.

It's so cute when you guys get silly or caring though.

I wish we would have ended things on better terms because I know as an Si dom, he will never forgive me for my poor behavior during our breakup. I almost never hold grudges, even when they are called for, so this is a tender thought for me - that he'll probably hate me forever.

If I ever find another good, compatible man who is an ISTJ, I'm not letting him go and I'm gonna make sure I am emotionally/mentally healthy so it doesn't stress him out.
(I'm not mentioning his mental health issues cuz no need really, but neither of us were in great shape consistently. We still both handled each other rather well overall.)

IXTJs do tend to be pretty independent people, yeah. IDK what my enneagram is, but after what you told me I'm actually starting to think So isn't a blind spot, just a rejected instinctual variant that I'm all too aware of.

ISTJs do also tend to do the "invisible" work - it's pretty much how we show we care. I went thru extra lengths to help my ex bring groceries back recently coz he hurt his foot and lives up a mountain, lmao, but it still doesn't erase the fact that I'm living with scary flatmates and he still doesn't offer to do shit to keep me safe, so there's that.

An Si dom doesn't necessarily mean he'll hold grudges - it's always possible that he'll look back at it and judge it differently from a different perspective. Maybe he'll remember some of the good, or have the perspective that it just didn't work out at that point in time because of this and that reason. Or maybe he'll choose to be kind and forgive. It doesn't necessarily mean you can get back together, but (including me) that's 3 Si doms I know well. Letting go of grudges isn't done for others' sake; we do it because we're... just... good people, and at some point it's about looking forward, too.

Anyway, it does sound like you're making progress on a personal level, and I know that these issues aren't easy to solve. It sounds like you've learnt some lessons with the benefit of hindsight and so on -- I think personal progress is always a good thing in the grand scheme of things. Learning how to cope and deal, as well as establishing healthy boundaries, is something that not a lot of people end up doing. It doesn't matter who you end up with -- if you find someone good, all you can do is deal with it the best you can and hope it works out. I don't doubt you will find someone who ends up being willing or able to work it out, at least for the long term.

Relationships aren't easy, but from an Si perspective, what matters is being able to grow together. You don't have to be perfect or to be free from mental illness -- it's a matter of figuring out how to make things work with what you have, what both of you can realistically deal with, etc. I'm actually a true romantic (which is why I have so many walls I guess xD) so I believe that it can work out as long as you've got the heart for it.

Good luck.
 

Tellenbach

in dreamland
Joined
Oct 27, 2013
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highlander said:
Wait. ISTJ procrastinator? That seems like an oxymoron. I didn't think they did that much.

I was a terrible procrastinator as well; it started in junior high. We'd get these long term assignments (eg. a report on Italy) and I would spend 99% of the time data gathering and wait until the last possible second to put it all together and write the report. I don't procrastinate as much on chores like taking out the garbage or paying bills.

What are your favorite things to do for fun?

I don't do fun; I prefer interesting activities. I could spend a good hour browsing books at Barnes and Nobles bookstores and at the local library.
 

Lloyd

Ain Soph Aur
Joined
Jun 1, 2015
Messages
115
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sx
What are some love songs you liked?
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
I also like some of those kind of songs. For fun.

An example would be Hyadain.




Real talk though it's usually by gay artists, you can sense it coz ... there's a certain inversion of the gaze and other subtle-ities

eg. even with the female singalong the male voice is ... the object and the subject of the desire at the same time. there's a certain turning-inwards, a certain non-gendered identification with the petit objet a in desire (... idk shit about lacan btw)

eg Simon Curtis Animal
Hayes' is more subtle, but it's so profoundly ungendered that the absence of gendering points towards a "love that dare not speak its name"
Tool's is a lot... weirder to explain,a nd I'm sure many will argue against it, but there's often a lack of gendering in some cases, and in other there IS gendering, in which case it is a "she". Now, in academia people usually speak of same-sex love as "brotherly" love, usually an allusion because it's literally illegal to be gay in the first place until very recent years. Eg. The juxtaposition of "between supposed brothers" with "between supposed lovers".Also, this is plain interpretation, unlike the other two who are clearly gay, but my guess is Maynard is probably pan/bi, and also, this.

tl;dr being gay/pan/bi is often about hiding a part of yourself to the majority of the people, or having a part that remains unseen. therefore, the conspicuous lack of gendering and references to heterosexual love is significant in romantic songs. i like them because i'm gay and can relate. welcome to my ted talk
 
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