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  1. #11
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008


    Start doing excessive amounts of drugs, drink a lot, become a cutter, a blood drinker, wear bizarre clothing, dye your hair black - no, better yet, shave it off.

    ...Just kidding.

    Seeing as how she's your mom, I doubt I need to tell you not to make ESFJs really angry - not if you're looking to patch things up, anyway. In fact, I'm not really sure I could mention or suggest anything that you haven't already considered or tried yourself. All I can say is that I sort of know where you're coming from with an ISFJ mom. xSFJs need to be needed. If you don't let her do whatever it is for you that she's trying to do then she isn't going to like it. You've probably got it worse than I do too (from an I's standpoint) because my mom will bottle it up and never forget it so she can use it against me later, whereas your mom will unleash her fury right then and there in whatever Fe way she can. There must be no end to her tirade.

  2. #12
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007


    That sucks. Your post reminds me of my mother (an ISTJ).

    It's so hard to deal with people like that because you're forced to be around them, but you don't want to just compromise yourself and your morals and go along. I'd say just grit your teeth and brute force it through the days until you leave.

    Unless she's willing to go to family therapy or something, but it sounds like she'd be against that.

    Maybe clean up without being asked? That's about all I can think of, lol.

    I still have an incredible amount of resentment towards my mother for shit like that, and I've been out of the house for over 4 years

  3. #13
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2018


    I registered on this website just to tell you that what you are describing is 100% accurate with my ESFJ mom, me being an INFJ, I have almost the exact same interaction with her as you guys. I've realized that distance is the only way for our mother-dauther relationship to work better, been living away from home for 8 years now and our relationship has improved a bit. But whenever I do go visit her, if I don't behave exactly like how she wishes, or if I loses my patience, we can clash really hard.

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