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  1. #1
    Junior Member octophantish's Avatar
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    Default How to flirt with ISFJ?

    An ISFJ from my church has caught my attention. As of now, I've only spoken to him twice. He introduced himself to me thrice on the first day we met and made an effort to talk to me before we left. He was interested in knowing about me. The second time we talked, he was standing rather close. I'm not sure if these are signs of interest or just me reading too much into things. I still don't know whether he's available.

    Regardless, our conversations have revolved around my current experiences which are similar to his past experiences. I hope to be less serious when I'm talking to him, because I don't want it to be a one-way counselling relationship. I don't really know how to though because I'm currently in a foreign culture.

    Anyway, any tips on how to flirt with him?
    And what do ISFJs think of ENTJ women?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by octophantish View Post
    An ISFJ from my church has caught my attention. As of now, I've only spoken to him twice. He introduced himself to me thrice on the first day we met and made an effort to talk to me before we left. He was interested in knowing about me. The second time we talked, he was standing rather close. I'm not sure if these are signs of interest or just me reading too much into things. I still don't know whether he's available.

    Regardless, our conversations have revolved around my current experiences which are similar to his past experiences. I hope to be less serious when I'm talking to him, because I don't want it to be a one-way counselling relationship. I don't really know how to though because I'm currently in a foreign culture.

    Anyway, any tips on how to flirt with him?
    And what do ISFJs think of ENTJ women?
    Hey my ISFJ friend is sitting here with me so I'm giving her answers. A lot of it would probably apply to a guy ISFJ just as much. She says that some good tips are to have the ability to be deep and funny in the same conversation, work some friendly touch in there, and smile a lot. She also says making it clear that you're enjoying the conversation is key, ISFJs don't like feeling like the person they're chatting with doesn't want to be there. Also she thinks your guy is definitely showing signs of interest. As for ENTJ relationship dynamics, the genders are flipped here but she gets along well with ENTJ guys and likes their humor (but thinks their T can be a little overpowering sometimes) so an ISFJ male/ENTJ female would probably have similar dynamics. Hope that helped

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    Hi there,

    May this post still be relevant after some months (well, I hope for you there has been moves since then), or my answer useful to other persons:
    Being myself an ISFJ man, I'll try to give you my view on the situation you described.

    1. I think he's interested. As he's an introvert, if you had repeated long conversations together, plus the fact he came close, well yes he's opened to you.

    2. You'll find plenty of guidance e.g. there:
    https://www.personalitypage.com/ISFJ_rel.html, or there
    ISFJ Relationships | 16Personalities, or there,
    Dating an ISFJ Personality Type | Futurescopes.com, or even there
    ISFJ Relationship Compatibility with Other Personality Types.
    that seem quite relevant to me, & express most things I'd say myself.
    + don't forget that "I" in "ISFJ" stands for Introversion :-)
    You'll find plenty of guidance throughout the Internet about dating an introvert !

    If you come to be together:
    May you hear about "5 love languages", please keep in mind that generally speaking, ISFJs value Quality time 1st (SiFe may easily lead to that ? I don't know), then Words of affirmation (once we're in a relationship, we need to be reassured regularly about the fact our mate's still in love), AND Physical touch (we ISFJs, when in relationship, seem to be quite touchy-feely).

    3. You'll find plenty of bull***t about optimal MBTI pairings, which I won't talk about.
    I won't teach you anything by saying ENTJ are quite different from ISFJ :-)
    As long as your extroversion does not lead you to show any aggressivity/arrogance (which is often the case for xNTJ), I don't expect major issue (issues may rise with time, but you'll have to communicate extensively and this should hopefully work most issues). You being a xNTJ woman, be even more cautious about this, because ISFJ male/xNTJ female is quite opposite of classical gender role, which reinforces this potential and very strong turn-off of xNTJ for ISFJs.
    No problem in the principle, just be cautious, listen to him, keep on doing this, and put him gently at ease.

    And don't break his heart, it seems that we ISFJs have quite hard time to recover, if ever. Most of us ISFJs take romantic relationships VERY seriously, with long-term/lifelong intentions, even from the very beginning !

    I wish the best for both of you !


    Pierre-Yves
    Be kind, work hard, stay humble

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