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[ISFJ] What do ISFJs think of ENFPs?

Dreamer

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I just recently posted my thoughts on the affection of ISFJ personality types as my two best friends are both ISFJ, and I think their consistency and stability complements my dreamer/energetic ENFP personality quite well. I'm wondering though, if you've had any experience or have any family or close friends that are ENFPs, and what are you relationships like with them? Do they work? How can they be annoying, if so at all?

There are times I wish my friends would step out of their comfort zone and be more open-minded, but overall, I feel we get along great!

Thanks in advance! :)
 
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They talk A LOT! lol I end up processing about half of what they say on a good day :)

ENFP woman can be very cute though. I think I get along great with ENFPs.
 

Yama

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My mom is an ENFP, and it's sort of a love-hate relationship.

On the one hand, I don't judge anyone because of their type or based on previous relations with someone of the same type.

With my mom, it's complicated. It could just be a parent-child thing and less of an ENFP-ISFJ thing. She was always a very loving and affectionate parent, for sure. But I'd find myself getting frustrated with her a lot, too. As a kid I'd say something like, "Hey, we have to leave now or I'm going to be late for school/this birthday party/etc." And she'd wave me off and say "Okay but wait until this program is over." "But that's another 15 minutes!!" I hate being late lol. At the store, she'd hyperfocus. Internally I'm sure she was assessing the differences between products, which is better, etc. But she'd hyperfocus for like 10 minutes. And any time me or my sister would try to get her attention, we'd be ignored or hushed. This could be less ENFP, and more ADHD, I don't know.

I no longer live with my mom. I'm living with my dad while I go to school--his house is so much close to my university. When I left, I was about 17 (I'm 21 now; I'm taking forever in school lol) and she cried because she felt like her children were abandoning her. I hated that. I tried to explain why, because it made more practical sense, but she couldn't help it. She hardly ever breaks down like that unless she's pushed past her limits. Since moving out, new problems with my mom have arisen. She usually ignores me when I call or text her or message her, but if my sister wants to talk to her, she's there immediately. She has told me before (she tried to say it lightly but it hurt) that she likes my sister more than me. Sometimes I feel like she takes advantage of me and sees me more for my bank about ("Can I borrow 200 dollars and pay you back Saturday??") than an actual person.

I think my mom has been a good mom. She is always supportive of me. We have our problems (which mostly stem from her thinking I'm "too much like my dad", an ISTJ). But we get along. As an adult I see her as more of a friend than a parent, for sure. She's someone I like to hang out with.

Christmas hasn't felt like a holiday in years and I don't know why. Especially since my parents got divorced when I was 16. Last Christmas, my sister and I drove to her house in the morning. Despite being broke and trapped at her low-paying job (literally trapped, her house is on-site and if she had the money to move, she'd have 3 days to do it) she put together little presents, chocolate-filled stockings for everyone, and cooked a nice dinner. She can be really messy and disorganized in her home life, but at work she works TOO HARD, becomes a perfectionist. She often stays hours after her shift is over to make sure everything is just right.

So, I think my ENFP mom is a good person. A person who works too hard, who cares too much. A person whose motives might be misunderstood sometimes. A good friend. A very outgoing and fun person who wants everyone to have fun and feel accepted. Messy, disorganized, all over the place; but she makes up for it in her kindness.
 

miss fortune

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my mom is an isfj and my sis is an enfp, so admittedly, my experience with this relationship is from the outside and occasionally as a go between :)

mostly from my view, my mom feels frustrated because my sis is kind of as far from responsible as possible in some aspects and my parents or I have to fix things to prevent even worse outcomes for her, and yet she'll say thanks and then do the same thing again as if she hasn't learned any lessons at all. my sis thinks that my mom is a phone stalker and my mom gets annoyed because my sister never calls back or responds to texts unless she calls to ask for something. of course, put the two of them together for a holiday or something of the sort and they'll act like best friends and my sis will happily sit and chat my mom's ears off. They both have a strong artistic streak and have a lot of similar interests and I know both are rather fond of one another, but there's definitely some conflict there. of course my sister probably isn't the healthiest example of an enfp, and I think the fact that she's the youngest child and has had all of us looking out for her and taking care of things her entire life has left her kind of reliant upon such things, so she's probably not the best example for predicting how such a relationship works :laugh:
 

Yama

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my sis thinks that my mom is a phone stalker and my mom gets annoyed because my sister never calls back or responds to texts unless she calls to ask for something.

This relates a lot to me, and reminds me of what I put in my post--how my mom only calls me if she needs something from me (like borrowing money) and not because she really wants to talk to me. :cry:
 

miss fortune

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This relates a lot to me, and reminds me of what I put in my post--how my mom only calls me if she needs something from me (like borrowing money) and not because she really wants to talk to me. :cry:

I'm an exxP type myself and find that sort of thing to be quite... unpleasant (I guess that might be the right word... maybe used would work best?) because she does it to me too :thelook:

reading your post kind of made me laugh because it was like "oh no! I KNOW that behavior!" :doh: and she is a really hard worker, I just don't think that she actually goes for any jobs that would pay better because she says that "they'd make her feel bored and trapped," so she ends up with crappy pay and unpleasant living situations instead. trying to convince her to try a different approach does NOT work out well
 

Dreamer

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My mom is an ENFP, and it's sort of a love-hate relationship.

On the one hand, I don't judge anyone because of their type or based on previous relations with someone of the same type.

With my mom, it's complicated. It could just be a parent-child thing and less of an ENFP-ISFJ thing. She was always a very loving and affectionate parent, for sure. But I'd find myself getting frustrated with her a lot, too. As a kid I'd say something like, "Hey, we have to leave now or I'm going to be late for school/this birthday party/etc." And she'd wave me off and say "Okay but wait until this program is over." "But that's another 15 minutes!!" I hate being late lol. At the store, she'd hyperfocus. Internally I'm sure she was assessing the differences between products, which is better, etc. But she'd hyperfocus for like 10 minutes. And any time me or my sister would try to get her attention, we'd be ignored or hushed. This could be less ENFP, and more ADHD, I don't know.

I no longer live with my mom. I'm living with my dad while I go to school--his house is so much close to my university. When I left, I was about 17 (I'm 21 now; I'm taking forever in school lol) and she cried because she felt like her children were abandoning her. I hated that. I tried to explain why, because it made more practical sense, but she couldn't help it. She hardly ever breaks down like that unless she's pushed past her limits. Since moving out, new problems with my mom have arisen. She usually ignores me when I call or text her or message her, but if my sister wants to talk to her, she's there immediately. She has told me before (she tried to say it lightly but it hurt) that she likes my sister more than me. Sometimes I feel like she takes advantage of me and sees me more for my bank about ("Can I borrow 200 dollars and pay you back Saturday??") than an actual person.

I think my mom has been a good mom. She is always supportive of me. We have our problems (which mostly stem from her thinking I'm "too much like my dad", an ISTJ). But we get along. As an adult I see her as more of a friend than a parent, for sure. She's someone I like to hang out with.

Christmas hasn't felt like a holiday in years and I don't know why. Especially since my parents got divorced when I was 16. Last Christmas, my sister and I drove to her house in the morning. Despite being broke and trapped at her low-paying job (literally trapped, her house is on-site and if she had the money to move, she'd have 3 days to do it) she put together little presents, chocolate-filled stockings for everyone, and cooked a nice dinner. She can be really messy and disorganized in her home life, but at work she works TOO HARD, becomes a perfectionist. She often stays hours after her shift is over to make sure everything is just right.

So, I think my ENFP mom is a good person. A person who works too hard, who cares too much. A person whose motives might be misunderstood sometimes. A good friend. A very outgoing and fun person who wants everyone to have fun and feel accepted. Messy, disorganized, all over the place; but she makes up for it in her kindness.

Wow! This is some useful incite :D I posted this topic because as strange as it might sound, I feel both caring and selfish. In my mind, I feel so selfish and non-committal, but on the other hand, I get affirmation from friends, colleagues, whomever, that I do tend to offer support for others and very agreeable. Also, it's pretty clear to me when my ISFJ friends are showing me they care and value our friendship, and I wouldn't want to rub them the wrong way, so I wanted to see how us ENFPs can come across to them or other similar types.
 

Dreamer

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my mom is an isfj and my sis is an enfp, so admittedly, my experience with this relationship is from the outside and occasionally as a go between :)

mostly from my view, my mom feels frustrated because my sis is kind of as far from responsible as possible in some aspects and my parents or I have to fix things to prevent even worse outcomes for her, and yet she'll say thanks and then do the same thing again as if she hasn't learned any lessons at all. my sis thinks that my mom is a phone stalker and my mom gets annoyed because my sister never calls back or responds to texts unless she calls to ask for something. of course, put the two of them together for a holiday or something of the sort and they'll act like best friends and my sis will happily sit and chat my mom's ears off. They both have a strong artistic streak and have a lot of similar interests and I know both are rather fond of one another, but there's definitely some conflict there. of course my sister probably isn't the healthiest example of an enfp, and I think the fact that she's the youngest child and has had all of us looking out for her and taking care of things her entire life has left her kind of reliant upon such things, so she's probably not the best example for predicting how such a relationship works :laugh:

You bring up a good point actually, in showing just how many other variables there really are that can affect a relationship. Thanks for the post!
 

Dreamer

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They talk A LOT! lol I end up processing about half of what they say on a good day :)

ENFP woman can be very cute though. I think I get along great with ENFPs.

Thankfully, I can sometimes catch when I'm talking people's ears off and I'm getting just a tad too excited, so I can tone it down some :newwink:
 

amazonian

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My best friend is an ENFP. I love her to pieces. We get along very well, though occasionally she can be a bit much for me - though that's usually when I'm in need of some introvert time. I like having an ENFP friend, as she brings me out of my shell much more than I ever would by myself. I think every ISFJ needs a good ENFP, and vice-versa.
 

Dreamer

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My best friend is an ENFP. I love her to pieces. We get along very well, though occasionally she can be a bit much for me - though that's usually when I'm in need of some introvert time. I like having an ENFP friend, as she brings me out of my shell much more than I ever would by myself. I think every ISFJ needs a good ENFP, and vice-versa.

This was nice to read! Maybe I'm just not giving myself enough credit, but I feel my ISFJ and ENTJs add so much to my life by being my rock, where I sometimes feel, am I adding anything to their lives or am I just a drain on them?

And if we're talking about type alone, I'd definitely say having an ISFJ in your circle of friends is a must :D
 
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