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  1. #11
    Member Bnova's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    4 sp
    entj Ni


    Dont let it get to you
    People that are like that are irrelevant and should be treated as such,if you suspect something like this again confront your loved one,if he/she doesn't see to reason and still goes about his detached ways then you should just pack your bags and leave,its irrational to stay because you "love" him/her and he/she is treating you like that ,the only rational option is to leave, he/she is most likely also playing a game of push and pull, games are shit and should be treated with caution...ALWAYS

    Create rules of engaging with someone you like

    for example when i have flings
    I see that girl as a possible lifelong mate I do thorough deductions of that person,I investigate and I set her on multiple tests before I ask her out for real if they dont comply then I'm not entitled to view them as potential lovers

    the other thing you have to understand is dont let those kind of people get to you
    cherish the memories the anguish the pain the moments you spent together
    and just move on people like that does NOT DESERVE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME

    hope this helped

  2. #12
    Senior Member Eluded_One's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    6w5 sp/sx


    Why blame anyone? Regardless of type, It's all just a process, and mine goes as such:

    1) Disappointment
    2) Criticism
    3) Distraction
    4) Relief
    5) Ready to do it again
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous

  3. #13
    Member stone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    1w9 sp


    When my romantic relationships went like this, I was generally oblivious and in the end she cheated/dropped me for somebody else. My general reaction to this is to recoil and hide in my metaphorical cave indefinitely and try to figure out what went wrong.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by Unionruler View Post
    I don't want to blame the person, I don't want to blame myself, I usually blame God at least somewhat because he has full control and there seems to be some kind of 'command responsibility' there.
    So, God is basically a 7-Eleven. Pull in, drop off the blame. Have a Slurpee. That's what I call a real-deal convenience store.
    Just because something doesn't work between two people doesn't mean it's a failure.
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
    — Mark Twain

  5. #15
    This is a test. Sil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014


    Quote Originally Posted by Unionruler View Post
    Additional background info: I am a Christian; I like building relationships but I'm not popular or anything.

    I'm just wondering, have any of you ever felt like this before. Say you initiated contact with someone you were fond of (to be a SO or close friend of the opposite gender) and everything went well for a few weeks, shared stuff about yourselves online, perhaps went out or perhaps not, and then the person discovers something they don't like about you when you feel it should be trivial compared to all the good you have on offer. And then you start getting ignored, or at least the care you get decreases quite noticeably, and then you confront the person as sincerely and gently as you can, but they don't want you any more. This has happened with multiple people so it's not a single issue of incompatibility kinda thing.

    And in my mind it's like--I don't want to blame the person, I don't want to blame myself, I usually blame God at least somewhat because he has full control and there seems to be some kind of 'command responsibility' there. But at the end of the day I still feel like I'm being punished when I tried my human best.

    There is no direct question here it's free response, but those further from my type please try to be sensitive kaes? Fellow ISFJs can say anything harsh so long as it's sincere.
    I put it out of my mind and don't think about it. It's not easy, it usually takes awhile before I've conditioned myself to do it automatically. But that's what works for me. Unless there's a clear lesson to be learned from it, I chalk it up to something not worth dwelling on.

  6. #16
    Member Silent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    ESI Fi


    I wallow in extreme sadness and pain. Not something I'm proud of.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    612 sp/so


    Has happened to me's not something I deal with well, but I am getting better at being logical ie this isn't all about me / others experience similar things / maybe I gotta learn to swallow some bitter pills...

    But yeah no it sucks and I definitely dwell and wallow a lot more than I should :p

  8. #18
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016


    Hello "Unionruler",
    Your post's a little old now, but may this answer be useful to anyone ?
    I'm not Christian at all, but I'm definitely ISFJ man.
    I have quite few experience of getting to be ignored after any "initial interest period". I usually don't interest a person at all, or interest them (whatever kind of interest) and it lasts.
    But I handle breakups terribly bad, and, even if it's the case for many persons, it seems to be quite ISFJ-typical. I don't involve any god in my thoughts there, not more than ever, but apart from that, I live breakups (even if it's about losing a promising contact with SO) quite the same you do.
    I feel you just have to be kind with yourself, and patient... And no, you have no need to blame others for what happens there. It's just the way life goes. Just wonder about yourself if you ever see a pattern in losing others' interest. And be careful not to waste your time on takers, which we ISFJ are veeery inclined to do ("Givers must set limit, because takers don't"). Keep openminded, and keep looking, you'll reach the right person for you. :-)

    Wish you the best.

    Be kind, work hard, stay humble

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