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[ESFJ] Ask an ESFJ

Showbread

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Ask away friends!
 
Last edited:

thoughtlost

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How do you feel/behave around people you know (or believe) can never truly be your friend, but they treat your nicely because they probably think they are your friend?
 

Showbread

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How do you feel/behave around people you know (or believe) can never truly be your friend, but they treat your nicely because they probably think they are your friend?

I hate that situation. I guess it would depend on why I think they can never be my friend? Do they just really drive me crazy?
I generally try to be nice to people because at one point I felt like I really didn't have any friends. But, at the same I suppose I also try not to be too friendly...
 

thoughtlost

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I hate that situation. I guess it would depend on why I think they can never be my friend? Do they just really drive me crazy?
I generally try to be nice to people because at one point I felt like I really didn't have any friends. But, at the same I suppose I also try not to be too friendly...

...Well, they don't drive your crazy necessarily. You probably like them and think the person is great in her/his own right, but because of their personality, you think that it's not the kind of friendship that you could benefit from. The person may be too judgmental or too rigid in her expectations about how people should behave, so even though things may be going well between you two for now, you're not sure how things will be in the future...
 

Showbread

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...Well, they don't drive your crazy necessarily. You probably like them and think the person is great in her/his own right, but because of their personality, you think that it's not the kind of friendship that you could benefit from. The person may be too judgmental or too rigid in her expectations about how people should behave, so even though things may be going well between you two for now, you're not sure how things will be in the future...

I usually just try to let things like resolve themselves, and they usually do. I'm pretty vocal about my opinions, and unfortunately I don't seem to have great control over my facial expressions, so people usually know if I'm annoyed with them or something they say. Generally if I see things starting to go south, I kind of stop initiating things and see where it goes.
 

Haven

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I always find it really difficult to answer those "how would you act in this situation" questions because how I act is governed by my immediate reading of the situation briefly weighed against some mess I call a values system. That is to say I can't predict how I will act with much accuracy.
 

Showbread

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I always find it really difficult to answer those "how would you act in this situation" questions because how I act is governed by my immediate reading of the situation briefly weighed against some mess I call a values system. That is to say I can't predict how I will act with much accuracy.

Yes! I am not a huge fan of hypothetical situations. For me, so much depends on the person, situation, reasons for what happened. I consider a lot of things before making decisions.
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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What do ESFJs think about INTJs?
 

Showbread

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What do ESFJs think about INTJs?

That's tricky. I generally do not get along well with TJ types. They always seem so harsh to me.

When I think of an INTJ I think of someone who is guarded, a black and white thinker, very intelligent, manipulative, and independent.

I know two INTJs, one of my roommates and my younger brother. I fight with both of them often. Usually over things that analyze to death that I am just sick of taking about. Or, some point that I find extremely trivial and irrelevant that they feel the need to drive into the ground.

Also, I find it interesting that you are a 4 and an INTJ. The ones I know are an 8, and a 5.
 

chubber

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ESFJs, do you consider yourself superstitious?
 

Lady_X

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I generally just try to pretend that thread doesn't exist. lol

If it makes ya feel better I think there's an enfp thread like that too haha

Stupid stupid thread.
 

chubber

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Are you guys heavy on gender roles?
 

HongDou

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How do you feel about people who think that ESFJs have no individual opinions or beliefs of their own and that they are 100% conformist?
 

Showbread

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Are you guys heavy on gender roles?

I hate them with a fiery passion. But, I'm not sure if that's typical...

....I also want to ask: What's your inner world truly like?

I'm not sure what means... Elaborate?

How do you feel about people who think that ESFJs have no individual opinions or beliefs of their own and that they are 100% conformist?

It drives me crazy. Although I am probably a bit more concerned with appearing normal than all of my IN friends, I question and evaluate my opinions. I find it extremely frustrating that people assume ESFJs are all content to just adopt other people's opinions without questioning them.
 

thoughtlost

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I'm not sure what means... Elaborate?

I mean, after you're done trying to appear normal and sane xDDD You may look one way to others, but when you're alone or away from any social influences, maybe you feel like a completely different person? ...idk. I realize that doesn't make sense lol. How about an example: So when you're at school you're super friendly and you seem jovial, but as soon as you get home and it's like that friendly person never even existed and a whole other you comes out. Does that happen to you?
 

baccheion

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Do you feel it necessary to impose your beliefs on others, or why do you feel the need to so frequently impose your beliefs? That's the thing that annoys me about ESFJs. They think they are right, they think things should go their way, and they push their stuff onto other people. It would be great if you could provide some insight around that topic.
 
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