[MBTI General] What about ISTJ - ISFJ relationship

[Jstrazz]

Does anyone have any insight or experience?

 

[Lady_X]

i know a couple like this but they both scored almost 50/50 on the s/n so i'm confused about their types. they are fantastic together tho.

 

[bronte27]

Depends on the couple of course, but that sounds like a tough combo to me.

 

[Jstrazz]

Yeah it didn't work out.

 

[Showbread]

Yeah it didn't work out.

Not terribly surprising. I dated an ISTJ 1w2 and that was almost too much Si for one relationship.

 

[Cimarron]

My parents were an ISTJ husband - ISFJ wife couple. That lasted a good 22 years... In the end, what dissolved the love was too much selflessness and responsibility--they were determined to put aside anything and everything for their children (us). My dad took a night shift position while my mom worked during the day, so that one of them would be with us at home at all times. They rarely had time to spend together for years on end, mostly just weekends. When they divorced, that is what they told me they wish had been done differently.

To me, this "lesson" is bittersweet. It's uncomfortable for me to think that selflessness and responsibility could be damaging to a relationship and a family.

 

[Showbread]

My parents were an ISTJ husband - ISFJ wife couple. That lasted a good 22 years... In the end, what dissolved the love was too much selflessness and responsibility--they were determined to put aside anything and everything for their children (us). My dad took a night shift position while my mom worked during the day, so that one of them would be with us at home at all times. They rarely had time to spend together for years on end, mostly just weekends. When they divorced, that is what they told me they wish had been done differently.

To me, this "lesson" is bittersweet. It's uncomfortable for me to think that selflessness and responsibility could be damaging to a relationship and a family.

The ISTJ 1w2 I dated cited too much giving, and ultimately resentment and passive aggression towards his past girlfriends as a good part of the reasons why it didn't work. He took a lot of the responsibility for this, didn't blame them really. We broke up because he moved across the country. It would have been interesting to see how that would have played out for us, given that I also have a pretty intense 2 wing. I know his last girlfriend was an INTJ, so I can see how that would have been not great.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

My best impression is that similarities in experience and culture would be especially important for two Si-doms because the past has a strong impact on shaping perspectives and assumptions with Si. It is also a function that is especially detailed and discriminating in its perception of the concrete world, so having similar taste in aesthetics and experiences could also play a significant role in compatibility.

I think the majority of my colleagues in classical music are Si-doms, so I've noticed their strong opinions based on their discriminating taste. There is a tendency for my colleagues to feel strongly about a certain aesthetic in performing, so if they have different schools of technique or style, then they tend to remain at odds on those points, but this is not to say that some enjoy the debate of different perspectives and tend to have a mutual respect for their different viewpoints, because it is understood that all are carefully and responsibly crafted.

I think it could be an ideal pairing, or the conflicts would be continual, but I'm not certain about that because I know there is a huge range of how people use any given function.

 

[five sounds]

my sister and her husband are ISTJ and ISFJ. they've been best friends since they were kids. i think what works for them is a nice balance of fun and tradition. they have a nice little routine, they go to church every sunday and do family functions, they have the same group of friends, they play soccer and videogames together, and both like the same kind of comedy. he's the feeler and she's the thinker and a huge tomboy. i think he likes her because she's kind of like one of the guys, and he doesn't have to branch too far out of his comfort zone to connect with her. they're totally adorable.