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[MBTI General] Is ESTJ the least liked type in all of MBTI?

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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I think ESFJ is the most hated type on the Internet. Probably because there are tons of INTPs on typology forums.


A lot of INTPs use ESFJs as a catch-all term for "person I don't like." I find that I have a harder time getting a long with ExFPs, though, but even that isn't a done deal, and there are a lot of exceptions. And, oddly, enough, sometimes I clash the most with other INTPs.
 

Honor

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A lot of INTPs use ESFJs as a catch-all term for "person I don't like." I find that I have a harder time getting a long with ExFPs, though, but even that isn't a done deal, and there are a lot of exceptions. And, oddly, enough, sometimes I clash the most with other INTPs.
Not odd at all! I have heard that identity relations in Socionics (that is, relations with your own type) are poor. It makes sense too from an evolutionary psychology standpoint. You and your duplicate, so to speak, are in direct competition because you're providing the same thing to the group.
 

baccheion

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A lot of INTPs use ESFJs as a catch-all term for "person I don't like." I find that I have a harder time getting a long with ExFPs, though, but even that isn't a done deal, and there are a lot of exceptions. And, oddly, enough, sometimes I clash the most with other INTPs.

I would introduce Socionics here (questioned, though it may be), since it deals with intertype relations. Maybe your last letter is flipped, making you an INTj. That would explain how well you get along with one type versus another. Also, if you put enough of the same type in a room, then you are going to have conflict. Though I do agree, I don't get along as well with INTPs as I thought I would. It matters little though, especially after the OkCupid experiment where I realized that I had a very low friend % with the great majority of types (INTPs as well) on the forum (though it was a small sampling). So maybe it's not that I don't get along with them, maybe it's just that I haven't found a group of them that were the same type as me, but also like-minded.

Were these clashes with other INTPs online, or in your real life? Online, you have to find a group you get along with. I personally think that having a group that answered the OkCupid questions to assess matches would be a good idea, but I doubt it would get much adoption. Sure, you have to be able to deal with and have to expose yourself to a wide variety of people, but I don't think this online therapy session is about suffering even more around people you're not compatible with, or with bending yourself even more. It should be about meeting like-minded people from various backgrounds to finally relax and be yourself and talk about what you want to talk about. But whatever. A lot of time in life is usually spent bending for other people or dealing with people you don't like (or are incompatible with), and I don't think that should be the case everywhere. Maybe this is truer on the forums that are type-specific (INTJforum, INFJforum, etc), but I think they are there for the like-mindedness, not necessarily to exclusively discuss typology.

Like for me, I'm just sick of the same old complaints about INTPs, and I've been trying to find a place where I don't get bothered with it, but so far no luck. I don't mention this, because all that follows are the fake platitudes, and the usual bullshit that are completely devoid of meaning that, if I ever believed them, would only give me a false sense of security.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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Both on the internet, and to a lesser extent, in real life.

I found that my most annoying aggravating dating experiences are with other INTPs, for instance. Rather than boredom or disinterest, like most dates, which I can't fault anyone for, INTP women do an annoying thing where they are interested in me in one sense, but also disgusted. The self-loathing, that is, gets transferred on to me. They dismiss me as a loser for the exact same things about themselves they don't feel great about. The game gets rather tiresome... they think the hallmark of a well-adjusted personality is smoking marijuana or clubbing. Those things are fine, I guess, but I'm not 21 anymore. Been there, done that, and didn't really get anything out of it. Why should I still worry about being "cool" at age 28? And then there's a self-righteousness thing, of trying too hard to be an INFJ. I'm not saying that INFJs are self-righteous, but I think that INTPs can be when they try to be NFs.

People say female INTPs are more well-adjusted, but I don't actually think that's true.

Regarding "bending" over for other people, I think the secret is to learn how and when to set boundaries. I'm getting better at that, and things seem to get easier.
 

The Great One

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I think female ESTJs in general might be more palatable. There's more of a balance there, rather than maleness and testosterone on top of it.

You may be onto something here.

I think INTJs are probably the least liked of all types on average IRL. ESTJs are often pretty popular.

I prefer the INTJ to the ESTJ any day of the week.
 

EJCC

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I think ESFJ is the most hated type on the Internet. Probably because there are tons of INTPs on typology forums.
A lot of INTPs use ESFJs as a catch-all term for "person I don't like."
^ These.
It's more likely the INTJs who dislike ESFJs, than INTPs. INTPs share the same functions but in reverse order.
Sharing functions in the reverse order is a huge part of why they can dislike each other. IME, shadow types project the weakness of their inferior function onto others who exude it as dominant/secondary. e.g. INFPs who see dominant Te as oppressive, and ESTJs who see dominant Fi as naive. Both views are (IMO) utterly wrong, because they're based on the image of the other's dominant function as unhealthy.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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The reason I get into conflicts with INTPs, or have frustrating issues with them both online and IRL is not because I think other INTPs aren't awesome. I think the root of the problem is self-loathing.

This will make the source of my bitching transparent, but I've been on dates with a few INTP women, and the outcome is always frustrating. With other types, it's more boredom or somethiing which I can take or leave, I guess, but with them, it's frustrating because they seem simultaneously interested and repulsed by me. I think I remind them of things they don't like about themselves... I don't think female INTps are necessarily more healthy than male INTPs, as is commonly believed. I just think it's just that they tend to overindulge in inferior Extraverted Feeling. I think they make that choice because they feel it would make them more accepted, but it just results in dumb shit like a dorky person who is 27 year old and still obsessed with appearing cool, or being overly self-righteous in a way that only a college student can. Since I've kind of moved on, they don't know how to process it, and translate that to ineptitude, and think that it would "help" me.

INTP males can be like that too, but it's less annoying because there's only the repulsion, not the attraction.

I know this is what they are doing, because I have done it too. I decided eventually I didn't want to do that anymore. Maybe my rant is a little over the top, but am I actually wrong?
 
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Ginkgo

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Outside of this website, it seems more like NTs are the most significant object of contempt at the core of human experience. You have the stereotypical villains - the brooding mastermind who would reshape the world to conform to his selfish vision, or the flippant trickster who would watch the world burn on nothing more than principle and whim.

And while INFPs might be overrepresented on this website (suggesting their exists a type bias that molds the self-perception of certain members), I think they're often too fickle and self-absorbed to be loved by all.

Even if an ESTJ is a well-intentioned extremist, it's hard not to be somewhat grateful that they're holding shit together at the end of the day - even if it means they bark at peons until their faces turn blue with bursting veins.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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Media is a decent indicator of the more popular personal preferences.

I would assume so. Given this, it is no surprise how many INTPs have issues with self-loathing. And even once you've moved past that, being yourself is still tremendously difficult.
 
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Ginkgo

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I would assume so. Given this, it is no surprise how many INTPs have issues with self-loathing. And even once you've moved past that, being yourself is still tremendously difficult.

I would say that INTPs would be generally the least loathed of the NTs. On one hand their more subdued and, therefore, less vulnerable to criticism --- on the other hand, their childlike qualities seem to allow them some sort of redemption in the public eye.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

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I would say that INTPs would be generally the least loathed of the NTs. On one hand their more subdued and, therefore, less vulnerable to criticism --- on the other hand, their childlike qualities seem to allow them some sort of redemption in the public eye.

Perhaps, but it doesn't earn respect, either.
 

EJCC

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Media is a decent indicator of the more popular personal preferences.
I generally agree with this, though it depends on the type of media. I think with "blockbuster" movies, it's true -- xSTP action heroes, xSFJ romantic comedy heroines, xSFP fantasy heroes -- but I can't count the number of misunderstood NF heroes and heroines in literature.

Interesting how NTJs are consistently the villains across most forms of media, though. (I specify NTJ because of the loveable geek NTPs you often see -- e.g. Megamind, Jack Skellington)
 

SD45T-2

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Interesting how NTJs are consistently the villains across most forms of media, though. (I specify NTJ because of the loveable geek NTPs you often see -- e.g. Megamind, Jack Skellington)
In Deadwood this kind of gets turned on its head with Al Swearengen (ENTJ 8w7 so/sp).
 

PimpinMcBoltage

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Probably. Granted the sheer intensity going towards ESFJ as a scapegoat rivals the ESTJ, but nobody really seems to defend them very much outside of recycling platitudes of their own necessity. I knew an ESTJ who were rather likable and such, and who wasn't really a much of a management type at all. When I gave her the MBTI test, she actually scored as an ESFP but that's another story. Her issues were generally low-level feeling which generally gave a a lot of undue intolerance of others, and that she was a rather corrupt mod who threatened to ban people. But she was still sexy, personality wise.

In fact I don't know why people peg Te > Fi types as mean spirited, granted no-nonse and arguably more likely to lean towards darwnistic viewpoints but they're usually at least amiable?
 

meowington

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I was thinking "maybe I'm a little judgemental towards ESTJs and I should abstain from commenting in this thread. After all, they are my counterpoles, shadow, real life boss, etc etc. They can't all be that bad. Let's look them up at celebritytypes.com and prove myself wrong."

OH MY GOD
Alec "douchebag" Baldwin ? Dr. Phil ? Judge Fucken Judy ? Tom "terrorists everywhere" Clancy ? and on top of that a bunch of Christian evangelists. They might as well put a black background behind all of them (http://www.celebritytypes.com/estj.php)

but yeah, I'm biased.
 

EJCC

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I was thinking "maybe I'm a little judgemental towards ESTJs and I should abstain from commenting in this thread. After all, they are my counterpoles, shadow, real life boss, etc etc. They can't all be that bad. Let's look them up at celebritytypes.com and prove myself wrong."

OH MY GOD
Alec "douchebag" Baldwin ? Dr. Phil ? Judge Fucken Judy ? Tom "terrorists everywhere" Clancy ? and on top of that a bunch of Christian evangelists. They might as well put a black background behind all of them (http://www.celebritytypes.com/estj.php)

but yeah, I'm biased.
So's that website...
 

baccheion

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Probably. Granted the sheer intensity going towards ESFJ as a scapegoat rivals the ESTJ, but nobody really seems to defend them very much outside of recycling platitudes of their own necessity. I knew an ESTJ who were rather likable and such, and who wasn't really a much of a management type at all. When I gave her the MBTI test, she actually scored as an ESFP but that's another story. Her issues were generally low-level feeling which generally gave a a lot of undue intolerance of others, and that she was a rather corrupt mod who threatened to ban people. But she was still sexy, personality wise.

In fact I don't know why people peg Te > Fi types as mean spirited, granted no-nonse and arguably more likely to lean towards darwnistic viewpoints but they're usually at least amiable?

I disagree with the notion that guardians (or whoever else) are used as catch-alls for people INTPs dislike. Find a miserable INTP, and there you'll find, louder than everyone, a guardian preying on them. Suckihng the life out of them. Doing everything to try to ruin them. The only thing more destructive than an INTPs self-loathing (actually, this self-loathing is harmless, it's all the idiots trying to prove or say otherwise that are dangerous) are the guardians that just can't leave them alone. I'm glad the INTPs vent and complain, but if only the guardian they complain about could be removed from their environment, then things will be great. I mean, it could be that the guardians are the parents of a young INTP (meaning they can't just leave), or that the INTP is in some other way choosing or stuck being around them, but all you have to do is remember that these types are the aggressors, so the usual case is that the INTP is minding their own business, going about their life, when these people show up and start shitting on it. There is always an excuse, there is always some bullshit, so much so that it becomes clear that these people do this shit on purpose. I don't know why they do it. Maybe they perceive all an INTPs external signals as weakness, and as a sign that they can capitalize on the strengths of an INTP without having to pay the price. Either way, the real thought process that goes through these people's mind is just shit. It never aligns with the politically correct bullshit they sometimes say to cover for what they are actually doing, and it just screams how rotten these people really can be. The vibe I often get from guardians is that they want to say I'm beneath them (maybe because I'm awkward (I'm not), or smart, or nerdy (they died trying to make me the nerdy stereotype so they could bullshit), or come across as weird, or am not conforming to the status quo, or am complained about (all bullshit) by others as being this rotten thing, or that thing), but they know they are wrong, and the truth keeps slapping them in the face. So they start on their quest to twist and force the reality to be like something that would allow them to lie to themselves, and they go nuts trying to do it. It's like they would do anything to reduce an INTP to the rubble and to the shit that everyone accuses them of being so they can be right. And if they mess up, or deviate from this plan, or end up not doing some shitty thing they were planning, they can't let it go, and go on and on about how lucky said INTP is, and if that doesn't scream the kinda shit they are, then I don't know what does.

I doubt ESFJs or ESTJs are being used as scapegoats, and as bad as the only bashing may seem, the individual people being referred to deserve it. What should be noted is that the online bashing/dislike of these types often match, or pale in comparison to what the bashers have to deal with from them in real life. They treat people like nothing or like expendable tools (ESTJs) or they smile to their face, then constantly talk shit behind their back (ESFJs). That is, in real life these extroverts are the aggressors, and they go around making people's lives miserable. There is a small chance the accusations could be exaggerated, but I simply can't fathom the thought process behind finding one or a handful of examples of ESxJs that are to the contrary of the behavior complained about, then using those few to make the claim that the accusations are being blown out of proportion (or that the ESxJs are being martyred) or that the accusations are false and these types aren't exactly as described. I can't emphasize enough the fact that ESxJs that aren't like described in the rants have to constantly watch what they say and do, to the point that it becomes clear that it's not their natural state of being. It's almost like the types disfavor thinking, and would rather just blast off their prejudices, put everyone in boxes, try to tell everyone what to do, eliminate threats (anyone with talent or that's good at anything becomes a threat in their mind, and the bullshit begins) and whatever else will allow them to find a way to say that they (ESxJs) are better than everyone. Another excuse given is that there are other types that exhibit this behavior. And? Even if other types exhibit this behavior, that doesn't mean that these people aren't doing the shit they do. I'm annoyed more by the weakness and flawed nature of the arguments than by the fact that such deplorable behavior is being defended.

That said, a person (regardless of type) has done what they've done, and hasn't done what they haven't done. So to randomly accuse some member of this type of doing the shit that's been complained about when they haven't done a thing would be stupid. No one is about that. But anyway, even if a person that's one of these types doesn't seem like a problem or doesn't seem to have done anything wrong, excuse me if I'm a little bit jumpy and hesitant to waste my time around them. It's not like I have anything against them at that point, it's more like the odds suggest that if I hang around this person long enough, they will start getting in my way, or will try to burn me. I don't have time for that. Besides, it's not even about who I'm avoiding at this point, it's more a quest to find people I'm compatible with (as is the case for most intuitives, especially introverts, since they tend to feel isolated and alone) and to spend time around them and no one else. I notice that most people (especially these guardians) find a group of people they like and that they are compatible with, and everyone should be able to do the same, even with this shit breathing down their necks trying to tell them they aren't human, and should be put out and killed, or whatever backward ass stupid shit these people really think.

I wouldn't say I'm judgmental against guardians at this time, but they've certainly left a stain on my life that could easily make me looked prejudiced, but it's more than I'm twice bitten. I wouldn't choose to hang around them. And then, while thinking I was an isolated and extreme example, and that this sort of thing doesn't happen to everyone, I end up online and find mountains of complaints from people saying the exact same thing has happened to them. It was strangely relieving to see that I wasn't alone (why would that make me relieved? Normally I wouldn't care, and it just goes to show the amount of shit that's been beaten into me by these people in an attempt to say that I'm the shit that they are, and that they are the person that my potential and talents made me out to be (that they couldn't stand and did everything to destroy)).

Stop accusing people of being shit when they are not, definitely! And stop defending shit! People are too easily confused, or too easily sink into denial about who's who, because it suits and protects their bullshit beliefs.
 
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