Also, IMO it's never worth it to stay in a relationship where someone constantly judges you. Especially not when it seems like they're waiting for you to make a mistake so they can justify their own beliefs about you.
I see what you're saying, but I think there are ways of protecting oneself and boundaries that can be set up. Perfect love casts out fear, Doug, and when the person does "get it" the change and healing that one sees - and the person his/herself - is well worth it.