[MBTI General] INFJ and ISTJ - try to stop me.

[Thalassa]

Even still, I would think you would be a bit more open the "mistyping" thing because people still bug you about your type. I think mrcockburn would probably be a peculiar INFJ but I can't say that she's definitively not INFJ.

I'm open to it. I understand it. I've even mistyped myself as INFJ.

I'm just saying she's absolutely not.

In fact I'll add here that I wouldn't even bother to argue with her if she had herself typed as ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP, ENTP, ESFP, or even ENFP....maybe ISTP.

So I'm not trying to tell her that *this* or *that* is absolutely her type.

I'm just saying that if she's IxFJ, I'm ExTJ.

 

[Cimarron]

If he'd wanted an open relationship instead of an exclusive relationship, wouldn't he have talked about that in the first place? Or you think he was scared to ask you about an open relationship, for fear of the suggestion sounding "strange?" Or do you think he'll agree to the kind of relationship you want, even if it's not the kind he wants (or is it)? These questions may sound elementary, sorry.

 

[mrcockburn]

If he'd wanted an open relationship instead of an exclusive relationship, wouldn't he have talked about that in the first place? Or you think he was scared to ask you about an open relationship, for fear of the suggestion sounding "strange?" Or do you think he'll agree to the kind of relationship you want, even if it's not the kind he wants (or is it)? These questions may sound elementary, sorry.

A lot of people don't even think of the possibility of an open relationship. They think it's either "not dating at all" or "dating ONLY you."

That said, he didn't like the idea regardless. Oh well.

 

[Habba]

So an ISTJ has been pursuing me for quite some time, and dare I say, he's a handsome, potential plaything

If someone would date me as a plaything, I'd tear their beating hearts out of their chest. If you date me, you date me as if we were to live together rest of our lives. There's no experiments with us. There's no playthinging with us. Either you stay forever, or you just keep walking. No in between.

Might sound rather black and white, but we are people of commitment. We love when people depend on us, and we know we can counter-depend on someone else. We are not easily bored as we constantly fix and improve things we have, to make them last forever. Also, we don't know words like "temporary" or "just for now".

If this makes you feel uncomfortable, stay away from ISTJs.

 

[SilkRoad]

Might sound rather black and white, but we are people of commitment. We love when people depend on us, and we know we can counter-depend on someone else. We are not easily bored as we constantly fix and improve things we have, to make them last forever. Also, we don't know words like "temporary" or "just for now".

If this makes you feel uncomfortable, stay away from ISTJs.

To me this sort of thing sounds pretty good - except I admit the "fixing and improving" bit makes me a bit nervous, at least in an interpersonal context.

 

[mrcockburn]

If someone would date me as a plaything, I'd tear their beating hearts out of their chest. If you date me, you date me as if we were to live together rest of our lives. There's no experiments with us. There's no playthinging with us. Either you stay forever, or you just keep walking. No in between.

Might sound rather black and white, but we are people of commitment. We love when people depend on us, and we know we can counter-depend on someone else. We are not easily bored as we constantly fix and improve things we have, to make them last forever. Also, we don't know words like "temporary" or "just for now".

If this makes you feel uncomfortable, stay away from ISTJs.

But we're only in our twenties. Would you have felt that way at 21 or 24 (his age)?

 

[Thalassa]

But we're only in our twenties. Would you have felt that way at 21 or 24 (his age)?

There's no reason why a 24 year old ISTJ wouldn't want a committed relationship. That's not like saying he's 18 or 19.

 

[Habba]

But we're only in our twenties. Would you have felt that way at 21 or 24 (his age)?

I'm 26 myself. I've felt like that ever since I began thinking about girls. We are family people. Great providers, bad adventures. xD

I can't speak for all ISTJs, but as far as I know people who type as ISTJ, they don't like short-term relationships. We are slow to attach, but we attach for good.

 

[Thalassa]

We are slow to attach, but we attach for good.

I know I said I was gonna disappear for a few days...but this is so so true in my experience. Both parts.

 

[mrcockburn]

I'm 26 myself. I've felt like that ever since I began thinking about girls. We are family people. Great providers, bad adventures. xD

I can't speak for all ISTJs, but as far as I know people who type as ISTJ, they don't like short-term relationships. We are slow to attach, but we attach for good.

hey, don't underestimate yourself! ISTJs can be just as adventurous as anyone IF they're eased into it.

I made that mistake when I tried taking a new (now ex) INTJ boyfriend on a surprise skydiving outing. He pretty much shit his pants when I parked the car and told him we were going skydiving - right now, outside this building.

Yeah, I think if you ISTJs want long and steady, I'm not the best bet - I'm way too wild and crazy and wear everyone except Se-doms and ESTJs out. On average, people lose 10 lbs just by being around me, due to all the energy and activity.

The guy wants to take me to dinner tonight (and he wants an actual direct answer), so I'm just going to see what his expectatiions are - and that'll determine it.

 

[Thalassa]

hOn average, people lose 10 lbs just by being around me, due to all the energy and activity.

Eventually.....She'll......Think.....Practically.....

 

[mrcockburn]

Eventually.....She'll......Think.....Practically.....

what-evah, lady

 

[Thalassa]

I'm just curious why you think an INFJ would be so energetic that they'd wear out everyone around them except Se doms and ESTJs. It seems to me that this would indicate you're either an Se dom yourself, or perhaps a very driven ExTJ.

I've recently begun to correlate my own over-the-top-ness to other over-the-top-ness members, and what I'm starting to notice is...Se. Whether those people are SPs or ENTJs.

Of course, it could also mean ENTP with high extroversion. Simulated World is an ENTP with nearly 100% extroversion so he also exhibits some over-the-top-ness at times.

It's typically not something you see in INFJs.

Also, I admit to being quieter and more subdued a lot of the time IRL, while you indicate that your energy here is equal to your energy IRL, which would point more to Se dominance, rather than Se in an aux or tert position...and certainly not in an inferior position...

Just my little observations that I'm linking to Se.

 

[mrcockburn]

I'm just curious why you think an INFJ would be so energetic that they'd wear out everyone around them except Se doms and ESTJs. It seems to me that this would indicate you're either an Se dom yourself, or perhaps a very driven ExTJ.

I've recently begun to correlate my own over-the-top-ness to other over-the-top-ness members, and what I'm starting to notice is...Se. Whether those people are SPs or ENTJs.

Of course, it could also mean ENTP with high extroversion. Simulated World is an ENTP with nearly 100% extroversion so he also exhibits some over-the-top-ness at times.

It's typically not something you see in INFJs.

Also, I admit to being quieter and more subdued a lot of the time IRL, while you indicate that your energy here is equal to your energy IRL, which would point more to Se dominance, rather than Se in an aux or tert position...and certainly not in an inferior position...

Just my little observations that I'm linking to Se.

True, but I always saw I vs E as relative dominance. As hyper and crazy as I am IRL, I can relate really well to that inner world that's predominant in Introverts. It's really my default mindset until someone/something comes along to interrupt it.

I've also never really needed to have people around - as long as I've got mental stimulation somehow (even if it's just my imagination - in a waiting room, for instance), I'm happy.

I don't like being cooped up indoors though.

 

[Giggly]

Yeah, I think if you ISTJs want long and steady, I'm not the best bet - I'm way too wild and crazy and wear everyone except Se-doms and ESTJs out. On average, people lose 10 lbs just by being around me, due to all the energy and activity.

The guy wants to take me to dinner tonight (and he wants an actual direct answer), so I'm just going to see what his expectatiions are - and that'll determine it.

I guarantee you he's going to play along with the adventure. It might even be a refreshing and exciting change for him that he welcomes. However, at his core he still wants something long and steady and return to that, which ultimately means he'll get hurt.

When someone is more flighty and less attachment prone and therefore more able to handle the same in return, they sort of ooze that vibe. the fact that you question this guy means that he's not oozing it.

 

[Habba]

hey, don't underestimate yourself! ISTJs can be just as adventurous as anyone IF they're eased into it.

We are not an adventure, we are a lifestyle. Adventures have a beginning and an ending, and they are exciting because you'll experience new (potentially dangerous) things. Lifestyles however do not have an ending. And they usually are far more established.

And I'm not underestimating ISTJs one bit. We are the greatest, people just should stop thinking we are plain and square. ISTJs often have a wicked sense of humor and rich inner world. Their imagination will surely blow your mind. If you are just lucky enough to experience it.

 

[mrcockburn]

We are not an adventure, we are a lifestyle. Adventures have a beginning and an ending, and they are exciting because you'll experience new (potentially dangerous) things. Lifestyles however do not have an ending. And they usually are far more established.

And I'm not underestimating ISTJs one bit. We are the greatest, people just should stop thinking we are plain and square. ISTJs often have a wicked sense of humor and rich inner world. Their imagination will surely blow your mind. If you are just lucky enough to experience it.

Thanks for the perspective. I can totally attest to what your saying with my ISTJ.

I say "my" because it's official. So I guess we'll see how it goes, it'll be an interesting experiment.

 

[Tiltyred]

*anxiety attack*

 

[tinker683]

I think you two might surprise each other

Good luck!

 

[Giggly]

*anxiety attack*

Remember that he chose her knowing the full deal. He wants her.