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[MBTI General] ISTJ males: How do you feel about INFJ women?

amerellis

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I'm just curious because I just realised that two guys, one who has liked me forever, and one who I liked forever were very ISTJish. But recently my type changed from ESTJ to INFJ and I'm wondering how I can hope to expect our relationships to change from here. I get the feeling like they won't like me, that ISTJ males and INFJ females don't get along. Is this true?
Thank you for any/all responses.
 

amerellis

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I would delete this thread if I could.
 

entropie

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Yea, its pretty unhealthy to think that because you yourself colored your hair a different color that wouldnt change you. If I'd tell you that I think you are ISFJ, it wouldnt as well change the fact that you will always be you
 

amerellis

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Yea, its pretty unhealthy to think that because you yourself colored your hair a different color that wouldnt change you. If I'd tell you that I think you are ISFJ, it wouldnt as well change the fact that you will always be you

yes But people can change.
 

entropie

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yes and people can never be put into boxes too. Therefore your type code only says about you what you give into it and seen from that perspective you're free and dont serve type code boundaries
 

amerellis

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yes and people can never be put into boxes too. Therefore your type code only says about you what you give into it and seen from that perspective you're free and dont serve type code boundaries

Yeah, I see what you are saying. Kind of the same reason I dislike the "NFs what do you think of ENTPs" thread.
 

entropie

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Type theory is good for finding yourself, just go beyond type theory at some point and create your singl own type. Dont end up like some people stuck here trieing to explain the whole word in 4 letterts having 10k posts :D
 

amerellis

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Type theory is good for finding yourself, just go beyond type theory at some point and create your singl own type. Dont end up like some people stuck here trieing to explain the whole word in 4 letterts having 10k posts :D

:D
 

Habba

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I'm ISTJ, and my girlfriend is INFJ.

So far, we seem to be a very good match. We being introverted and judging, we find it easy to get along. Neither of us is overtly dominant or assertive, nor too easy-going to be distressing. We both are perfectly fine spending weekends just by the two of us, on a sofa, maybe watching a film or talking about a book (Game of Thrones). I also understand that INFJs can be highly neurotic people, so I try to give her the space she needs with that (like being patient while she checks the windows and doors for the 3rd time before going out).

On the otherhand, she's NF and I'm ST. I find she's quite often concerned with how she's feeling about people around her, or how they're feeling about her. She really likes to overanalyze whatever people say to her. This can cause problems with ST people, who often just say things without hidden agendas. It's like NF people are very personal and emotionally attached to anything they do or say. ST people on the other hand are the complete opposite. We rare emotionally attach ourselves to things we say or do. We merely say what we have observed.

Here's an interesting pattern:

INFJ: "So, how was it?"
ISTJ: *long explanation, telling what was there and what happened*
INFJ: "...so how was it? :| You never told me how you felt about it."

S-N barrier can be a huge thing, but can als be worked over if both sides are willing to listen the other. Luckily my girlfriend is also interested in psychology (well, atleast in dog personality :) But I've almost felt that if I was an animal, I'd be dog), so it's quite easy to explain the concepts of N and S. Together we have even read some pseudo-psychology books (such as "Is he your TYPE?", a book which takes a look in dating through four temperaments), and that makes it easier to understand each other.


INFJs like ISTJs because they find ISTJ's dependability to be something out of this world. Because INFJs can be neurotic, a safe ISTJ is a welcomed sight. ISTJs are also often humble and down-to-earth, which may appeal to INFJs who hate faking more than anything. However, ISTJs might be seen as boring and unwilling to speak about their feelings in a romantic relationships. This can be a huge turnoff for an INFJ, who seeks to understand and improve relationships all the time. They could really feel like ISTJs would not be willing or able to develop a deep relationship.

ISTJs like INFJs for their ability to express/analyze/handle emotions. ISTJs also appreciate people who can stand for something, and INFJs can be as idealistic as they come. ISTJs like people who can commit and be dependable. While INFJs are as not dutiful as ISTJs, they can still go great lengths to help their friends. But ISTJs can feel that INFJs are constantly overreacting and misunderstanding them on purpose all the time. Their idealism can also seem petty and naive to a pragmatic ISTJ, who just wants to get the things done, regardless the scenario.

Strengths: Dependablity, trust, matching energy levels
Dangerers: Miscommunication, feelings of trapment and being controlled by the other, nagging
 

IZthe411

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INFJs are cool....not my normal attraction but we seem to get along, as long as they don't assume their Fe is the barometer for the rest of the world.
 

Thalassa

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The ISTJ male I know rants on about how much he is irked by NFJs (male and female), but especially ENFJs.
 

Thalassa

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I'm also confused as to how you think your relationship will change just because you changed your type from INFP to INFJ.

That doesn't mean your type actually changed, it just means you became more aware of what it actually is.
 

iwakar

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I'm just curious because I just realised that two guys, one who has liked me forever, and one who I liked forever were very ISTJish. But recently my type changed from ESTJ to INFJ and I'm wondering how I can hope to expect our relationships to change from here. I get the feeling like they won't like me, that ISTJ males and INFJ females don't get along. Is this true?
Thank you for any/all responses.

You seem young. And not INFJ. I smell... Ne.

I have a friend that is ISTJ and we seem to have an unspoken understanding that we can flake out on being proper friends for long periods and pick back up whenever we want to without having to rehash everything we've missed in each other's lives. We just don't pry and we don't question why the other doesn't pry. #madlove /fistbump

:solidarity:
 

Alehand

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Why are you using type to determine if a relationship will work? (a little blunt, sorry, but I havent had my second coffee yet)

I think talking to the guys in question will give you more information than personality types because while MBTI is a good theory, in practice, we all have a different quirk here and there that can throw a curveball (or several) in any relationship.
 

Roar

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yes But people can change.
INTP here:

What do you mean by change?

Every interaction I`ve seen thus far between an INFJ and an ISTJ seems to boil down to one thing: silent ego-centered competition. Each side is trying to `get one over` on the other, and it looks like a struggle for power, not equality. Its like being in an argument and not being able to admit when you`re wrong, because of who you are arguing with. Or when the wife would run around slaving all day helping her friends with the barbeque, and cleaning her friend`s entire house, but then leaving your dirty cup on the kitchen counter `to make a point.`
 

amerellis

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You seem young. And not INFJ. I smell... Ne.
I understand but that's probably atributed to me creating this thread when I was spazzing out that the ENFP gone ISTJ guy that I like was ignoring me on fb chat :p

[MENTION=14415]Alehand[/MENTION] : I know type is not the end all and the be all of compatibility but it does have an impact.
 

Giggly

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Some types are like oil and water when combined, or like putting a cat in a bathtub, eek. I don't think ISTJ and INFJ are like that, so I think you're okay, but I can't really say for sure since I'm not an ISTJ. Too bad there aren't more ISTJs here to say.

On the otherhand, she's NF and I'm ST. I find she's quite often concerned with how she's feeling about people around her, or how they're feeling about her. She really likes to overanalyze whatever people say to her. This can cause problems with ST people, who often just say things without hidden agendas. It's like NF people are very personal and emotionally attached to anything they do or say. ST people on the other hand are the complete opposite. We rare emotionally attach ourselves to things we say or do. We merely say what we have observed.

Here's an interesting pattern:

INFJ: "So, how was it?"
ISTJ: *long explanation, telling what was there and what happened*
INFJ: "...so how was it? :| You never told me how you felt about it."


Hehe This made me giggle.

I'm not INFJ but I've experienced this too. It's like you feel like you haven't gotten the full story (or the best parts at least) if you just hear the facts/technical details of what went on. I assume, maybe falsely, that there's always feelings involved. That said, I won't press those I'm not close with for how they feel if that doesn't seem like their normal thing. I do ask those I'm close with for their feelings no matter what though, and also those who I trust that I'm not bothering and they won't be mean to me.
 

highlander

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But recently my type changed from ESTJ to INFJ and I'm wondering how I can hope to expect our relationships to change from here. I get the feeling like they won't like me, that ISTJ males and INFJ females don't get along. Is this true?

Your type doesn't change. So, you can't change from an ESTJ to an INFJ. Not possible.

I think this stuff can be very useful in relationships - understanding differences and that sort of thing. There's a lot more to people than their MBTI type though and it's dangerous to base too much on it.
 
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