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[SJ] SJs and spontaneity

deep rain

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
61
MBTI Type
ENFP
SJs, do you sometimes frustrate over your being an SJ? Orderliness, feeling the need for everything to be controlled, being the guardian...

Do you often wish you could be spontaneous and feel "rootless" and free-spirited like SPs?
 

sassafrassquatch

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2007
Messages
961
Nope, I'm completely fine with the way I am type wise and feel no desire to be like any of the other types.
 

Hirsch63

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2007
Messages
524
MBTI Type
IS??
Sure I do...but it took a number of years to realize this. I don't exactly regret all my preferences, they suit me fine when I am living alone. The thing is if you decide to share your life with others, these preferences are not endearing or cute...they can lead to mis-understandings...and if we hew to our habitual behaviours we run the very real risk of losing the living situations that we value. In many situations the SJ is handy but in other more personal aspects of life it is simply the wrong tool for the job...and that is not really SJ.
 

swordpath

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
10,547
MBTI Type
ISTx
Enneagram
5w6
Sure I do...but it took a number of years to realize this. I don't exactly regret all my preferences, they suit me fine when I am living alone. The thing is if you decide to share your life with others, these preferences are not endearing or cute...they can lead to mis-understandings...and if we hew to our habitual behaviours we run the very real risk of losing the living situations that we value. In many situations the SJ is handy but in other more personal aspects of life it is simply the wrong tool for the job...and that is not really SJ.
Well said.
 

pure_mercury

Order Now!
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I like that I plan things through that are important. I like to be around other types, so this can happen:

Friend: "Wanna go to Montreal this weekend?" (450 miles away)
Me: "YES! Let me get online and get tickets, and book a hotel room, and find everywhere that is good to eat!"

So it works out. The problems occur when I want everything done my way to a T, or someone else is so inept that that can't do the simplest thing, even after having promised they would do it. But I find that I am being more spontaneous the older and more responsible I get, which seems counterintuitive. I guess that working a normal schedule and taking better care of myself means that I leave myself more leeway to do something like take myself out for a $50 dinner, or to drive to the beach 80 miles away one morning with no place to stay. I am an experience junkie.
 

Recoleta

No me digas, che!
Joined
Aug 8, 2007
Messages
600
MBTI Type
ISXJ
Mmmhmmm...I can relate to what you said above pure_mercury, I'm a lot like that too. I rarely freak out about having control over things...I'm really laid back and will usually go with the flow of what others want. And I do like having "planned spontaneity"...such as travelling on a whim, but planning out stuff to do. The only time I get really annoyed is when I want to do something a certain way or have a specific idea in mind (like a school project) but I am forced to work in a group or with lazy people who won't hold up their end or who want to go in too many different directions. People who promise things and then flake out really do irritate me.
 

pure_mercury

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Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
. People who promise things and then flake out really do irritate me.

That is a very SJ trait, I think, and I definitely have it. Makes me into a good movie producer, though. When I have a major project to oversee, I like things LOCKED DOWN.
 

Zergling

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,377
MBTI Type
ExTJ
That is a very SJ trait, I think, and I definitely have it. Makes me into a good movie producer, though. When I have a major project to oversee, I like things LOCKED DOWN.

That seems like the sort of thing that would annoy just about anyone, except for the very most laid back/unplanned people.

But I find that I am being more spontaneous the older and more responsible I get, which seems counterintuitive. I guess that working a normal schedule and taking better care of myself means that I leave myself more leeway to do something like take myself out for a $50 dinner, or to drive to the beach 80 miles away one morning with no place to stay. I am an experience junkie.

Some of this might just be experience, in that you know enough about how things work that you can still effectively plan out something spontaneous while doing it, rather than having to plan earlier to avoid getting lost.
 

pure_mercury

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Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
That seems like the sort of thing that would annoy just about anyone, except for the very most laid back/unplanned people.



Some of this might just be experience, in that you know enough about how things work that you can still effectively plan out something spontaneous while doing it, rather than having to plan earlier to avoid getting lost.

I think that I am probably around some of the more "go-with-the-flow" type people around, being that they are generally wealthy, druggy college students with lots of free time. I am a lot more likely to say "Let's figure it out now, and then go to it."
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Lots of Necro-threading Jack. Long day at the office?
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
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Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,552
Lots of Necro-threading Jack. Long day at the office?

I never put in short days....
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Caribelle

Member
Joined
Oct 16, 2018
Messages
57
Hmmm, no. I actually like planning, making lists and things like that. It makes me feel more relaxed. Sometimes I'm spontaneous, but I don't really feel the need to 'be' like that most of the time.
 

tinker683

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Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
To actually answer the post: I suck at this, because when I decide that I want to do something random, I plan for a time to do, which in and of itself is the opposite of spontaneity, so I end up sad and in some nightmarish Hellerian-loop of self-defeat
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
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Messages
23,552
This is why we drill...
 
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