[ISTJ] What are the signs of a ISTJ liking or being attracted to you?

[Tish211]

I like a ISTJ guy just wondering what are the signs for them liking/being attracted to you?

Do they try and talk to you? Or become silent around you? Observe you?
Try to be near you? Listen on other conversations? stare? etc.

Do you make the first move?
And do like shy/quiet people?

How would you know if a ISTJ likes or is attracted to you?

 

[Giggly]

Some of them project neutral feelings so you really can't know until you observe their behavior around other people. If they dedicate their time, interest, and attention to you, then they like you. If they do it with someone else, then that's who they're attracted to.

As for making the first move, I think an ISTJ would if he/she liked you. It might take a little time though if they are shy.

 

[raz]

If I like a girl, I'd be spending more of my time around her, and the difference between talking to her and to other people would be that I cater more to her personally than others. I generally don't inquire much about other people. I really am selfish, but not in a bad way. I just have a hard time seeing past my own personal agenda if it doesn't directly involve someone else's personal affairs. I just ask more personal questions. Like, the girl right now I'm interested in. When I wanted to pursue her, I made it an effort to be in her general area, to pass by her, to start conversations with her. I would go out of my way with what I was doing to be involved in something near her. I'd be passive aggressive and coy about asking personal questions. It's really a stupid way of saying it, but I tend to be predictable, and interest in a girl and a shake up in the routine tend to go hand in hand.

 

[Tish211]

Do they like shy girls? Do they ever become really quiet around the person they like?

 

[raz]

Do they like shy girls? Do they ever become really quiet around the person they like?

there's a difference between shy and secluded from groups. if a girl can't be assertive, it's not attractive at all. if they keep to themselves while being confident, that's hot. i'd say being around a girl i'd like would make me much more talkative and social.

 

[IZthe411]

Like Raz said, we will not be ourselves. So if we are more of the talkative type, we'll probably become too self-centered and make sure every move we make is 'on point', we'll over think things, and it will come across as weird. Or we'll try to be more loose and laid back than we are comfortable with, and look equally douchy. Not a good situation.

I will say I don't like the fickle nature of some girls- who will try to avoid you and all that- when we've both agreed that we are into each other. Some of this is because ISTJs can be the same way, trying to avoid any unplanned moments, because they don't do spontanaeity too well.

 

[Tish211]

Do you stare or make a lot of eye contact with the girl? Try and listen and see how she acts around others? an ISTJ I like seems to be really quiet around me. When I talk to him which isn't often he seems interested in the conversation and smiles a little. I've seen with a few others one of my extroverted friends was trying to talk to him. He says things occasionally to them he wouldn't give as much focus.

 

[IZthe411]

Do you stare or make a lot of eye contact with the girl? Try and listen and see how she acts around others?

Yeah I do. But you aren't supposed to notice LOL.


*edit: ISTJs are very aware of what's going on around them, most of the time, and it's not that they are paying special attention, we just have a good grasp on the present. If you see somebody fixated on you for more than a passing glance, you're special. Or nutty, and we just want to make sure you're not gonna spaz on us.

 

[swordpath]

Can't remember the last time I really liked someone enough to exhibit awkward indicators of me being attracted to them... So I guess I can't comment.

 

[Tish211]

Do ISTJs focus more in the conversation if they like you?Like look at you the whole time without looking away or seeming disinterested? rarely start it until they know you?

 

[swordpath]

Sure, but is that really type specific? I mean if someone likes someone else, they're automatically going to show special interest with that individual - i.e. more focused communication. I guess that could manifest itself in a penetrating eye-lock.... *shrug*

Just ask the bloke. I mean, the only way a girl is going to know I like them is by persistently wanting to spend time with them, whether in conversation over the phone, text, or in person... And at some point (could take some time) I'll just come out and say it unambiguously. So aside from that happening, you can bet that you're shit outta luck in determining my intentions.

Hey, but I'm just one ISTJ (with intimacy/relational issues)... I wouldn't consult me for any advice in this field.

 

[Tish211]

I rarely ever see him talking to girls or hear him talking about them. Or even flirting or being flirted with.

 

[raz]

The girl I'm into right now I work with, and the other night, I was standing next to her as we were about to close our store and leave. We were really standing like 4 inches from each other, and I was just stuck just staring into her eyes and up and down her face, and shutting everything out around me. I was even looking at her lip for half a second and noticed it cracked, and she obviously caught it and commented on her lip. I think it's just something like that, just standing there focusing on each other that intensely, that's just the biggest red flag I'm into someone.

 

[swordpath]

I rarely ever see him talking to girls or hear him talking about them. Or even flirting or being flirted with.

Are you so sure he likes any of these girls you've seen him around?

 

[Tish211]

Hes always around guys , doesn't talk or pay attention to them really. Before french the only class hes without his friends he stands beside me really close even though he doesn't talk to me unless I do first. There was this one time he stood opposite me maybe 4-6 inches away and he was just looking straight ahead, . I wasn't sure if he was looking at me , I was for a few secs but I didn't want to look directly at him so I looked away he continued looking. Then someone had to get past I moved then he did a few secs later came beside me. Other times in class say if a teacher was saying something to me or asked me something thats not about the class sometimes he'd say a similar thing and get involved. Another time in french the teacher asked me if I liked school and he had already said he didn't and he hates some of the teachers(in an email) as we had that for homework. I said it ok. And the teacher asked me to explain why. And I wasn't sure and he said "its not the best or the worst" not sure if he was trying to explain for me or he changed his answer. The teacher said to him "you seemed to have changed you're mind thats not what you said earlier" . He said exactly what I was thinking.

So would they try and agree with you on things or try to say what you are thinking?

 

[Tish211]

Would try and stand in a close proximity to you?

 

[miss fortune]

awww... I have an ISTJ and he's wonderful

I'll admit to having done most of the pursuing myself, but he says that he put in some efforts on his own... in my conclusion these efforts involved checking me out when I wasn't paying attention, making jokes at me, making sure to always invite me out whenever he went out and trying to make sure to get opportunities to talk to me alone (even if it meant sending off the other people at the table to play pool and supplying them with quarters to do so!)

as a note: I'm an extrovert (ESTP), not known for not commenting on something whenever possible, and I chat with strangers for recreational value... not exactly the quiet type

 

[simpleamazement]

Tish211, if he likes you, he will somehow find ways to spend more time with you, even if doesn't seem obvious. If he didn't like you, he would try and avoid you. Either that or he's ultra shy and won't get close to anyone.

 

[IZthe411]

Tish211, if he likes you, he will somehow find ways to spend more time with you, even if doesn't seem obvious. If he didn't like you, he would try and avoid you. Either that or he's ultra shy and won't get close to anyone.

Simply put.

As he gets older, he will learn to be more direct and come out and say it. Hopefully.

 

[Tish211]

So I'm guessing I need to be the one to be the pursuer? He does usually make it obvious when he is looking and doesn't seem to mind if caught or occasionally he'll look away . He stands beside me a lot before class(in the class without his friends) even though he doesn't speak to me until I start it.When I've spoken to him face to face which has only been a few times we've stood about 15cm apart and we're not that close. An he doesn't get distracted.