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Thread: Male ESFJs...

  1. #91
    Join Date
    Nov 2010


    My friend Manny is a ESFJ - and hyper-masculine one moment, then weeping with almost womanly compassion the next. He is completely immersed in the UFC (ultimate fighting championship), has lots of tattoos, always at the gym, but is the most devoted family man I have ever met. He always gets these man-crushes on any men around him that are more macho that he is. We used to think this was something homosexual, but instead it appears to be the way he bonds.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010


    The ISFJ I know is more concerned with doing/experiencing stuff than worrying explicitly about his own machismo. He's always up for anything, loves going out, and is very affable; indeed, it's difficult not to like him. I suppose he does fit into the male gender-role, but I think his softness at heart ensures that he can never sustain overt "manliness" for too long.

    However, his fun-loving exterior is somewhat overshadowed (not in a pejorative way) but his deep dedication to a few causes. I would say his two greatest loves are music (he's a guitarist) and cycling (at which he used to compete semi-professionally). He seems to embody "practice makes perfect", and would have no problem cycling 100km (80~ miles) in the wintery cold in order to train or practicing guitar all day to prepare for a gig. He can be quite garrulous at times and sometimes overwhelms me with his questions or his constant mood-checking (is that okay? are you alright? does that bother you?). He's cool though and we get on really well.


    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh
    I'm reeeeealy cheap when it comes to my own needs, especially if I can do it myself. I also hate adding to the list of appointments I already have and yes that's my P talking and I really don't care what anyone thinks about that.
    Come on, mate! Don't let the INFP side down! Go and get a nice haircut and then go out and put the cat amongst the pigeons!
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  3. #93
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    2 sx/so


    I find straight male SFJs to be quite fascinating. Because they have this sense of masculinity and sense of duty, plus all their emotions due to being a Feeler. It's intriguing watching them balance it.

  4. #94
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    3w4 sp/so


    I do. A male ESFJ friend of mine is very domestic and effeminate, but he has such an aggressive and hostile outer shell that it's pretty clear that he's overcompensating.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
    Lawful Evil



  5. #95
    Orisha Redbone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    8w9 sx/sp


    My ex is an ESFJ. He's a pretty emotional guy, loves to be needed, loves to take care of the people he cares about. Loves small talk, has a million people in his cell phone address book, and can immediately connect with people. He has to beat people off of him pretty much and everyone thinks he is such a great guy.

    Hard shell but he's pretty fragile on the inside. Hates conflict, debates, and takes things personally.

    We were watching Star Trek TOS and I was reminded that McCoy's character is an ESFJ...he acts exactly like that.

  6. #96


    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I find straight male SFJs to be quite fascinating. Because they have this sense of masculinity and sense of duty, plus all their emotions due to being a Feeler. It's intriguing watching them balance it.
    Are the ones you know criers, that you know of? One thing about me is that while I am pretty emotional, I never cry. It's probably been 10 years since the last time I cried. In movies, funerals, church services, and the like, I am often very very moved and touched, but I never cry. I have an ESFJ uncle who really fits your description; masculine, and also a strict disciplinarian, had and still has very high expectations of his grown children and that they fit a certain mold, rules oriented, HUGE into sports (he was a college quarterback and also a high school golf coach for 35 years), but he can cry at the drop of a pin! And I mean weep. He wept all the way down the aisle at his daughters wedding which is not that unheard of, but in so many other situations he will cry, and that combined with how "masculine" he is has always intrigued me, much like you, I suppose. I suppose people view me the same way. I'm pretty small and the way I dress doesn't scream masculinity. I love sports though, just not the rough ones, I just follow football as a fan. If I had the size I would have loved to have played football. I love following it and analyzing offensive and defensive schemes and formations. He and I are a lot alike seeing that we're both ESFJ's, but we had very different upbringings and are from different generations which helps explain our differences. We are definitely alike in that we find the best in people and consider just about everyone our friend. Long before Travis Tritt made the popular song, my Uncle would say almost daily, "it's a great day to be alive!"

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