[ISTJ] ISTJs how do you end up in romantic relationships?

[rav3n]

It appears to be a consistent ISTJ trait, that when it comes to dating, you guys sit back.

Other people were the ones to start talking about us before we started talking about us. So the ISTJ who I was with for over a decade and I, kind of fell into our relationship.

You ISTJers are worse than INTPs when it comes to sitting back. How's that possible?

 

[raz]

I suck at initiating because it feels so forced and I'd rather things just flow more naturally. That's why I end up being so standoffish.

 

[Patches]

I do think ISTJs are impressed by persistence. I think they want someone they know they can trust.

Just my two cents.

I get really turned off by people I perceive to be fickle. That is the single most irritating trait in a partner or friend.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I relentlessly pursued my ISTJ until he gave in

Lucky dog.

 

[Cimarron]

It appears to be a consistent ISTJ trait, that when it comes to dating, you guys sit back.

Other people were the ones to start talking about us before we started talking about us. So the ISTJ who I was with for over a decade and I, kind of fell into our relationship.

I suppose that's true... It's hard to be otherwise.

 

[Parsimony]

So how do you as an ISTJ find romance? Also if it applies, how did you run into the love of your life?

For me, ppl that I have dated began with friendship first before it progressed to anything. I find it a little superficial to date the conventional way, so to speak because I have to know and trust a person to a certain level before I'd consider going out with them. Suffice to say, I'm unconventional when it comes to dating and I don't give two hoots bout dating rules.

Also, I agree that persistence pays off. Like Patches, I find others who are fickle-minded to grate on my nerves.

 

[uberrogo]

INTPs have quite a reputation, and a negative one at that lol. Perhaps ISTJs are successfully taking this advice: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

 

[Giggly]

I get really turned off by people I perceive to be fickle. That is the single most irritating trait in a partner or friend.

Seconded.

Of course, the real diamonds are the P's who are not fickle, or J's who are not so uptight.

 

[rawr_sheila]

I'm dating an ISTJ, so not sure exactly if this can help you or not but we met through a friend and started hanging out in a group a lot. The two of us hit it off and eventually started hanging out one on one. It's good to be friends first I think.

I agree. I've never been in a relationship before, but I think that good relationships build off of a foundation of a good friendship.

 

[Condor]

Just looking into new ways I may not have considered when pursuing romance. So how do you as an ISTJ find romance? Also if it applies, how did you run into the love of your life?

I think (for me anyway) it was fairly easy. I don't talk to a lot of people IRL, therefore the one female I had become friends with eventually ended up as my wife. The love developed from the friendship.

 

[whitney4397]

INTPs have quite a reputation, and a negative one at that lol. Perhaps ISTJs are successfully taking this advice: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

thanks.

 

[d@v3]

I happened to be lucky enough to catch an ESFJ (ISFJ? ) .... she likes things her way but I'm laid back so I usually don't mind but once in a while she asks me to change something which doesn't go over so well because as an ISTJ I don't like change! We do end up working it out though.

It took two years of chatting as 'just friends' to finally move to the relationship stage. Being long distance really sucks.

 

[Fox]

1. Become a consulting detective with more than amazing deduction skills
3. Rent your room out exclusively to INFJ's (or whatever you feel fit)
5. Subtly start hitting on them
7. Solve a crime together
9. Solve more crimes together
11. Make them fall in love with you first so that you have the upper hand (to crush them with)
13. Pretend to kill yourself
15. Let yourself fall in love with them
17. Express love explicitly in Season 3
19. Watch a movie
21. Spoon
23. Coitus