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[ISFJ] isfj's being boring

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
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INFP
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I know of two ISFJs on hand, one I know online, one I dated. Both are very family-oriented people, both are past-oriented people. The girl I dated was pretty vanilla but I know that there was more to her, I just couldn't relate to it. She also had silent expectations of me as to how I was supposed to act around her, although I'm not a very warm or publicly-affectionate person so that lent itself to the inevitable failure. The other ISFJ is plain awesome, very open about taboo subjects, has a sense of humor and it is great to talk to. She is in tune with more shades of grey of reality than the girl I dated, who kind of had flat ways of looking at things if that makes any sense. It doesn't matter what personality type you are, if you don't possess certain dimensions others have they can't relate to you and will probably find you uninteresting.
 

Snow Turtle

New member
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May 28, 2007
Messages
1,335
Herein lies the difference, at least from an INTP's perspective. My mind prefers to flush details that it considers irrelevant to any given experience. Instead, I tend to formulate a thought pattern I can integrate into my knowledge base, or a general emotional state gleaned from the experience. So rather than a detailed, frame-by-frame replay (as in watching a video recording), my memories tend to be applied on a conceptual level to my mental and emotional framework. Some images are retained, but recalling a particular distant memory is more like looking at a (partially complete) scrapbook than watching a video.

Conversely, ISFJs (actually most Sensors, I'd wager) consider the detail of a memory to be vitally important. They want to take a mental picture and retain the entirety of it for direct future reference. Obviously one of the better ways to maintain and reinforce these highly detailed collections of mental imagery is to talk about them. A lot. :D

Hm. I suppose that does make sense, and it feels like Ts are more likely to do this than Fs. I can't say that I'd describe my experiences as being detailed though, since I'm usually a little fuzzy on the minor details.

It feels more like screenshotting something and having the most important parts of it highlighted. So when there's a similar experience, this tends to trigger a dejavu sense and remind me of what I had learnt as I recall that experience. Sometimes it's just a feeling I recall, but they are all anchors in a way that allow for recollection of other screenshots of insight and emotion.

Hm. In your method where you are conceptualizing something and discarding 'irrelevant details' - would that not mean that there are times where you might be: Oh I learnt this... but I can't remember how or when I learnt it?
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
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INFJ
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6w5
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sp/sx
One of my best friends is ISFJ. Generally I think she's anything but boring. I can have really deep conversations with her about the things that matter to me...except we tend to run out of steam on poetry fairly soon, but at least she'll be polite about it.

I guess, to be perfectly honest, she can be a bit boring if she starts going on about her home renovations in detail (which she sometimes does) or what so-and-so said at work, in detail (which she also sometimes does). But what's the big deal? I probably bore her by being too emo sometimes. I figure that as we're such good friends I can put up with a little boredom...and it's only a little...occasionally. Generally she is fun in a quiet way and has a quirky sense of humor.
 

Trentham

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
304
MBTI Type
INTP
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5w4
Hm. In your method where you are conceptualizing something and discarding 'irrelevant details' - would that not mean that there are times where you might be: Oh I learnt this... but I can't remember how or when I learnt it?
Sometimes that's the case. Often though I do remember how or where I learned something, but I couldn't tell you anymore than the most basic of circumstances surrounding the experience.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
People say I'm boring. :unsure: But my best friend is an ENFP, and he is not boring. When we hang out we always find some way to get into trouble- and usually I end up getting blamed for it! :doh:
 

Istbkleta

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Jun 11, 2011
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so/sx
It's also the Fe that makes ISFJs more boring than ISTJs (at least in non-work environments :)

Fe - WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY?
WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?
HOW WILL I LOOK TO PEOPLE


And since most of society is veeeery close-minded, ISFJs need s stamp of approval (Oprah said it's OK) to say or do anything that might impact their social image.

Hands down the most boring type because of the Si-Fe combo.

If the rules allow it, if nobody from work is going to see, if I won't look stupid, etc., the ISTJ is more likely to break away from convention to make room for their kiddy Ne to play.

But if there is anybody around to see, the ISFJ's Fe brain will melt before allowing that. Dom Si, semiconscious Ne (aka "all-the-bad-things-that-can-happen") compliments the Fe self-censorship.

But if they are in a society where creativity is "proper", it's even funnier watching them try so hard to be crazy "the right way" :happy2:
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
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ok so I've read and get the impression in everyday life that people tend to find us isfj's pretty boring. Why is this?

I'm a guy in college, and I know I'm not the most exciting person, but I love to go out and have a good time. Also, my friends enjoy my company and I'm generally considered the goofy one out of my friends...so what makes us so dull?


Need I say more?
 

jcloudz

Yup
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Nov 5, 2009
Messages
1,525
MBTI Type
Istj
i dated an isfj who was a great guy. i would not describe as boring, but more sweet and had many endearing qualities. he was a little bit of a nerd and enjoyed drawing out his fantasy and published a few comic books. he loved writing stories too. one of his old email names was quite cute, its not his anymore but it was minion-something.

one thing i found really interesting about him, was that he was a pack rat. so he described himself. it was true. his dad gave him a wallet when he was a kid, i guess because of sentimental value, he kept it to now and it was just covered in duct tape. it was more duct tape than wallet but still he would not part with it because his dad, who still is alive, gave it to him.

i think one of the wonderful things he done for me was, he held my hand when i was going through some really hard times, did not leave my side. had a way of making you feel secure, which was nice.
 

Orangey

Blah
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Jun 26, 2008
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They're only boring if you get more than one of them together and they start talking about their coupon/shopping shit. No joke, this conversation actually took place with two twenty-something ISFJs dudes that I know.

Otherwise they're good fun. Pleasant, socially competent people for the most part.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
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My mom s an isfj. Yesterday i was told an old lady i liked died. I was saddened. She then went on about Hat happened and how she died, the precursor signs etc. I was like "mom. Please. Stop" (with the si list)
But she s good people. I like my mom. She can drive me nuts with her attention to "what is proper" but hey, she means well.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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My mom s an isfj. Yesterday i was told an old lady i liked died. I was saddened. She then went on about Hat happened and how she died, the precursor signs etc. I was like "mom. Please. Stop" (with the si list)
But she s good people. I like my mom. She can drive me nuts with her attention to "what is proper" but hey, she means well.

Our main source of conflict would be how she goes very very "si" under stress and tries to impose it on people close to her (part of her fe fuzzy bubble).
For example insisting i need to pack my things days in advance because it stressed her while i have never missed a plane (and was paying for the damn thing in the first place). It was to the point of harassement.

But moms are not exactly normal samples.

I dont really have isfj friends. I dont think im on their wave length. And if im not interested im just not. It doesnt make the person boring. Just as if im not attracted to someone it just means that.
Do i really have to repost that "offended vs. Offensive" comics?
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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And isfj often know alot of interesting facts

That s cool too.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
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Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
And isfj often know alot of interesting facts

That s cool too.

Did you know that nearly all interesting facts are 95% more likely to interest you than boring ones?
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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They're only boring if you get more than one of them together and they start talking about their coupon/shopping shit. No joke, this conversation actually took place with two twenty-something ISFJs dudes that I know.

Otherwise they're good fun. Pleasant, socially competent people for the most part.

^^ your first paragraph above tends to represent any "boring" times I had with them. Or when my mom and I get together, and she just basically starts rambling through the mundane details of her day and the days of all the people she cares about. For me, it's like all this linear detail is being tossed out me without any real context or shaping or purpose, and it goes on and on... and I'm not even an auditory learner, really, I get bored easily when someone just talks and especially if the data is not structured.

The funny thing is that I only really found ISFJs boring when I was a teenager, but as I got older, I found them more interesting. I think that might have been a change in them, but also in me, where I was more interested in some of the things that used to bore me.

Also, some of my ISFJ friends can develop a really dour/dark sense of humor that I find amusing. I like their realism, and they tend to call things exactly as they are, on the detail level. And what's really neat is when the straight-laced ones end up doing things I did not expect. My ex, for example, surprised me by spontaneously doing things like shooting guns with friends, or getting into fast driving, or renting jet skiis. I love being surprised, when someone normally very constrained just cuts loose.

In general I find them loyal and dependable and considerate and not ones to make conflict just to be contrary; and I typically know if I need them to do something, it will get done and done as well as they can do. I like that stability and consistency.

Did you know that nearly all interesting facts are 95% more likely to interest you than boring ones?

I find that the boring facts are 82% more likely to bore me than the interesting ones.
 
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